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Eat, Pray, Love, of course, is the best-selling memoir by Elizabeth Gilbert about how she is super self-absorbed and took a fucking vacation. I haven’t actually read the book, so I can’t actually speak to whether or not it’s the worst book ever. I’m sure it’s great. It sounds great. But I did watch Elizabeth Gilbert give a speech at the TED Conference, and that I CAN say is one of the worst things I’ve ever seen. What a ridiculous, selfish woman. Anyway, now they’ve turned that book into a movie starring Julia Roberts. That sounds about right. You can see the trailer here. This is the first official poster. Cool. Neat poster. It features Julia Roberts impishly enjoying some dick ice cream on an Italian park bench because she is finding herself, while some nuns also enjoy ice cream, probably because the word PRAY is in the title. You’ve nailed it again, Dr. Posters.
Personally, this poster definitely makes the movie look appropriately unbearable. But a lot of people don’t have the keenly sensitive eye for awfulness that I have refined over the years. (I am like the Elizabeth Gilbert of blogs! Very self-satisified and very bad at writing!) So I have fixed the poster to let people know what this movie is all about:
Better.
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Well now I want ice cream. Or do I? But I just ate! So confused.
Couldn’t get passed the first 2 min of that TED talk by the way. Don’t even try. The worst.
That speech! I want to throw her in a pit. Here’s the gist:
Why do people resent those who are successful in their creative endeavors? Most creative people kill themselves. My creative endeavor made me zillions of dollars, and now I can’t write without a mental filter that ignores my ridiculous success. Creativity is emotionally risky; I believe it’s divine.
Or, alternately, “I’m a narcissist.”
Oh god there’s more! I had to turn it off finally, but before I did, she’s actually worried that the pressure of channeling the divine is what has been “killing” artists for the last 500 years. Please Elizabeth Gilbert! Don’t die!
I think you mistakenly added “Don’t” in that last post.
Well it can’t be all that ba–
wow. kill me.
If Elizabeth Gilbert were an ice cream flavor she would be Pralines and THE WORST.
I was born to upvote this comment.
Obviously.
Gabe, your work here is exceptional. I wouldn’t be surprised if you got a call from Perez Hilton offering you his coveted Head Blogger position.
But I wanna be Perez’s head blogger!
Head Blogger because he draws pictures of Julia Roberts giving ice cream head?
Julia Roberts eats things with a plastic spoon. She’s just like regular people!
And coming soon: This Ain’t Fart Fart Barf: XXX
Upvotes to infinity and beyond
http://danperkins.blogs.com/.a/6a00d83454bdfb69e20120a754ec58970b-500wi
Damn you, Buzz Lightyear. Damn you.
“Hey, give me back my penis!”
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This is genius. I laughed out loud and everyone turned around and gave me a disapproving look, not knowing I was laughing at the idea of ghost penis.
Also, Gabe, that treat she is enjoying is more than likely Gelato… Get your shit together.
gelatio
spuuu-geeet
As a girl who has friends who actually want to see this crapfest, I thank you for this post.
I had to disguise my laughter with coughing several times throughout this post.
THAT’s your girlfriend.
THAT’s your penis.
Game, set, and match.
Considering this movie includes one of videogum’s favorite actors (sadly it doesn’t include Topher Grace), This poster needs more James Franco eating pie.
much better
Sorry, I just wanted to post this because I watched that speech and laughter is the only way to wash the anger from my soul.
i….i can’t look away…
I almost got in trouble from my boss for this. She knew I wasn’t laughing, clapping, and crying over a spreadsheet.
The poster accurately portrays the eating and praying, so I guess we assume that the loving is happening where we can’t see it? If that involves Julia Roberts and a nun, that’s probably a good thing.
She Loves herself.
and that’s enough.
*BARF*
They removed the love for the UK poster.
That’s because over there the word for love is lorries.
Oh, to be in lorries.
The love is in her pants. I have x-ray eyes
In the TED talk, when she talks about people coming up to her and asking if she is worried about never being able to top Eat Pray Love and how they treat her as doomed, all I can think about is David Foster Wallace, who worried and worried that he was not able to write another book as good as Infinite Jest, and I think of him and I get very, very sad.
So basically Elizabeth Gilbert’s (Herself) existence is as tragic as David Foster Wallace’s death… that seems about right.
Yup. I guess you might say The best lack all conviction, while the worst / Are full of passionate intensity.
—Nick Madson, “2012″
God, Mans, all I could think of was David Foster Wallace too, and especially, how he totally refutes everything she says. What made him great is, I think, the same thing that made him chronically anxious and depressed, and that is his superhuman lucidity and empathy, and the excruciating honesty of his work.
But yeah, whatever. If only he had believed in fairies, right?
i feel like on the one hand, it’s really inspiring to see someone try and deal with their lifelong struggle with depression in an open and honest way and basically just try and do the best they could not to freak out completely, but on the other hand it it’s crap like this that makes me lose faith in humanity.
plot breakdown (spoiler alerts?):
wealthy writer has too much money (oh no) and it stresses her out.
she then spends an entire year just screwing around on a vacation.
she writes a book about it.
she makes a ton more money.
basically all of your problems can be fixed if you have an unlimited amount of money and free time.
So…this is like a really shitty Room of One’s Own?
I’ve posted about this before, but the graduation speech he gives at Kenyon always inspires and depresses me simultaneously for the same reason.
http://moreintelligentlife.com/story/david-foster-wallace-in-his-own-words
I wonder if Elizabeth Gilbert (and now Julia Roberts) would have found a different self if she had searched for it in, say, Detroit, instead of Rome and Super-Exotic Elephantland With Brown People. Or if she had to look for herself while going to work like everyone else. How many possible Elizabeth Gilberts does the multiverse afford us? They should make a movie about this movie, with Gwyneth Paltrow. 2Sliding 2Doors.
trust me, there are plenty of white people looking for their sense of self in impoverished urban cities in america, who believe that dedicating themselves to the hard work of revitalization and equity building would bring a greater sense of belonging and peace to their neurotic liberal leanings. some might even accuse me of being part of that population. they would probably be right, except the kicker is- instead of finding peace of mind and happiness, you become depressed, irritable, develop a drinking problem, and contract a horrible cynicism towards everyone else also working “for the greater good” in said urban hellhole. it would not make a very good movie starring julia roberts.
“Drink, Swear, Hate”
“Punch, Drink, Cry”
LIJTUT: logged in just to upvote this.
I hope Scott Pilgrim beats, slays, clubs (YEHUP!) the shit out of this movie and that stupid action movie on the Aug. 13 opening weekend.
The fat single middle age paralegal at my office who makes her own holiday sweaters loves this book. Her lean cuisine microwave lunches stink up the whole floor.
Elisabeth Gilbert pulls a copy of Microwave Cooking For One by Marie T. Smith off her shelf
“This, this is what I write”
That reads almost like a Mike Leigh haiku. I’m moved.
Are you sure that’s her lunches stinking up the floor and not the fly of her pants unzipped?
yes Im sure.
A slapstick comedy about a woman who can’t satisfy her craving for ice cream!
Goes better with the tagline, too, Notsew.
I gotta stop reading videogum at work, my boss is gonna come in and wonder why I’m rofling so hard
thank you
[IMG]http://i45.tinypic.com/6rnfir.jpg[/IMG]
my bad… I don’t know how to post things.
there you go dude, just url no need for tags
haha thanks buddy!
Everyone must be upvoting the help you provided.
One more upvote from me.
get it? because javier bardem is in this train wreck for some reason. and because… she has a huge mouth…
i’ll show myself out.
watch you head on the revolving door, J-Biebs!
Do you guys REALLY want to barf? Read Elizabeth Gilbert’s wikipedia page, obviously written personally by Elizabeth Gilbert. It’s very succinct, giving you straightforward factual information like this:
Literary Influences
Elizabeth Gilbert is very well-read and her preferences fall all across the board.
And how darling is this picture of the humble beginnings of an American Genius?:
Gilbert grew up on a small family Christmas tree farm in Litchfield, Connecticut. The family lived in the country with no neighbors, and they didn’t own a TV or even a record player. Consequently, they all read a great deal, and Gilbert and her sister entertained themselves by writing little books and plays.
Not just well-read, VERY well-read. Christ.
That ought to do it.
subtle…
“When I was little I wanted to be writer and I loved writing and was fascinated by it and now I’m a wicked successful writer and people come up to me and blah blah blah…”
Hey lady, you aren’t a writer. You wrote an effing memoir.
There’s a difference.
According to that Ted video her next book is going to be called Tutleneck-Tunic Floppypants Headset.
“That’s the kind of thought that could lead a person to start drinking gin at 9 in the morning”. Replace gin with poison and you’ve got it!!
I would so watch a movie about these ladies.
This is a rip off of Tyler Perrys movie about cannibals, “Eat ‘Prey Love’ “
the only good thing that will come from this movie is the eventual porn-parody:
EAT MY LOVE
oh god yes
Hey look, the tag line is “Let yourself GO.” Does that imply “Let Desmond hit you with a CAR.”
I lasted 1:07 of Gilbert’s TED speech for I had to get up and refill my ice cream bowl.
Turns out I’m really bored & have no inspiration. But do I let that stop me? Hell no!
They loved to sit, and to pray… But their love could never be. Or something.
Directed by David Lynch.
Soundtrack by Trent Reznor.
I got through 5 minutes of it. My main issue is that she seems to have like no self-awareness at all. There’s nothing wrong with writing light books about your life changing vacation or what-ever, but not understanding real writers anguish, and even putting yourself alongside very-serious-authors? She should know that she isn’t invited to that club.
NSFW
http://bit.ly/9HhJDS
LOL WTF that was disturbing but great.
I can’t seem to stop. Last one.
Missed a great opportunity to change ‘Roberts’ to ‘Robarfs’.
As I watched that I got the very distinct feeling that this was a strange defense mechanism, which she actually points out as a ‘protective psychological construct’ because if she used the words ‘defense mechanism’ like everyone else she’d be one of the normals again. She repeatedly acknowledges that her success is sort of unwarranted but she spins it into this self-help guru presentation to protect her from the truth that she is a schlocky resource for well-off suburban moms. That I could accept but she goes too far to actually include herself with the likes of Norman Mailer and pretends to understand what he meant when he explained his career as a writer. And that dig at her father’s career? You don’t think that he or people who don’t write or make art have anxieties about their work or their lives? You wrote a book about your vacation, there’s little creative about that. But her solution (which is surprisingly not ‘go on another vacation’)? Your writing is sooo good that you must break yourself in two (like Voldemort since HP is the literary allusion you chose, WELL DONE SERIOUS WRITER) and pretend your work comes from genius fumes instead of your own mind? This talk really is just her telling us not to expect anything from her; it’s less conceited than desperate. She didn’t write ‘Beloved’ and she will not write ‘Beloved’ ever because her genius god fumes in the corner that she talks to because she got the idea from actual creative people are busy eating gelato.
I read the book. Don’t read it.
This movie will fit in well with Sex and the City 2′s premise of pampered, spoiled, culturally ignorant people visiting poorer countries full of brown people to grace them with their presence.
Now that we have a smart president we need to find other reasons for the world to hate the US.
Elizabeth Gilbert and Nicolas Sparks should get married. Then they can be awful together.
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y276/grendelzero/julia.jpg?t=1274988675
if this were a dan brown novel
[IMG]http://i47.tinypic.com/29pu2ro.jpg[/IMG]
You are all very bitter and unhappy people. I’m glad I’m not like any of you. Ms. Gilbert is happily living her life some where while you are all her expressing your pathetic disapproval. Do yourselves and the world a favor and go find something better to do.
Shorter version. Ms Gilbert = happy successful women You guys = angry bitter bitches