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A new poster has been released for Saw V. It features a man with his head caught in a steampunk’s aquarium, which is apparently one of the scariest places to find your head, and the tag line says “You Won’t Believe How It Ends.” Wrong, Saw V. I will never see how it ends. Because I refuse to watch you. But I will believe it. Oh, there will be belief. In how it ends.
I’ll even do you one better, Saw V. I will guess how it ends. You will never believe how I guess how it ends. After the jump.
- Jigsaw takes off his dress and is actually a dude.
- “Jigsaw” was the name of a sled that Charles Foster Kane had as a child.
- Jigsaw asks Morgan Freeman to come to the hospital and unplug his life support system.
- It turns out that Jigsaw was Keyser Soze the whole time!
- Jigsaw and Heidi stop talking to each other, but neither of them really has the intellectual capacity to even understand what they’re fighting about so the charade of their dull-witted feud continues for a couple more seasons until viewers grow bored and the show is unceremoniously canceled.
- Jigsaw is Luke’s father.
- Jigsaw is humans, he’s made of humans.
- Jigsaw wakes up and it was all just a dream.
Did I get it, Saw V? Fuck you, you piece of shit torture porn.
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Jigsaw was actually dead the whole time.
Jigsaw wasn’t being haunted by the Others; Jigsaw actually WAS the Others.
Jigsaw finally finds the “Black Rock” and then Hurley eats him.
Jigsaw wakes up and realizes it was all just a dream.
Jigsaw gets hit on the head by a golf ball, and wakes up next to Suzanne Pleshette. It was all the strangest dream!
Jigsaw was a ghost the whole time.
Jigsaw realizes he is The One and that he can totally stop bullets.
Jigsaw projects himself into the mainframe and becomes pure energy.
Jigsaw finds out the it was actually Samuel Jackson causing the disasters the whole time because he wanted to know if Jigsaw was a true hero.
Jigsaw meets in a secret council with all the beings who inhabit Middle Earth and decides that the ring must be destroyed.
When there was only one set of fotprints in the sand? That was Jigsaw carrying you.
my favorite ever.
Jigsaw gets the girl. Plain ‘n simple.
Jigsaw is actually Jigsaw’s mother, Mrs. Voorhees.
Jigsaw decides not to go back to LA and instead goes off of his meds and stays in New Jersey with that girl he knew for four days and maybe also rediscovers himself.
Jigsaw crane kicks Johnny right in the fucking face and totally wins the All Valley tournament.
Snape kills Jigsaw.
Jigsaw decides to seek revenge on Dean Wormer by turning the annual Homecoming parade into a complete and total clusterfuck.
After a bitter divorce, Jigsaw disguises himself as a female housekeeper to spend secret time with his children held in custody by his Ex.
Jigsaw leaves us guessing if there will be another sequel, which of course, there will be.
It was Jigsaw’s evil twin.
It turns out Jigsaw’s your boyfriend.
An alien/predator hybrid bursts from Jigsaws chest and so begins the AVPVJ franchise.
An alien/predator hybrid bursts from Jigsaws chest and so begins the AVPVJ franchise.
Jigsaw sits cross-legged on a table and makes out with Jake Ryan over his glowing birthday cake because it is, after all, his sweet 16.
In a series of torture related incidents jigsaw ends up tortured himself?
Wait… I don’t think i get it.
what, no floating head?
jigsaw IS Keyser Söze!
After an intense (and finally original) routine at nationals, Jigsaw graciously takes second place to the inner city cheer champs, the Compton Clovers.
Jigsaw doesn’t have anyone to torture until the weekend. He checks his email, watches some TV, masturbates, and then takes a nap.
Jigsaw is murdered unexpectedly right before his Labor Day beach party so his underlings, Jonathan Silverman and Andrew McCarthy, must prop him up on things and mannequin his arms and legs and shit all weekend so that nobody suspects a thing.
Jigsaw actually is an alien from another planet sent to scout out Earth and see how strong Earthlings can be.
hey the second one about citzen kane the thing with the sled and if this is a bullshit made up for fun thing disregard thiscorrection but his childhood sled was ROSEBUD not jigsaw
in the end a dweeby girl in glasses with a penchant for wearing orange explains how he did it and that he would have gotten away with it if it were for those darn kids and their dog.
jigsaw is actually a robot in disguise. “terminator”
jigsaw is actually a robot in disguise. “terminator”
but in the end jigsaw loves you.