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Hollywood has worn a hole in their Bad Idea Jeans. But not to worry, they’ve got dozens of pairs. EACH ONE BIGGER THAN THE LAST. From the HollywoodReporter:
Sony Pictures Animation has pre-emptively picked up rights to the Atari video game “Rollercoaster Tycoon.” Harald Zwart is spearheading the development of the big-screen adaptation as a possible directing project and will executive produce.
David Ronn and Jay Scherick, who penned the upcoming Kevin James comedy “The Zookeeper,” are attached to write what will be a live-action/CGI hybrid.
Oh sure, a live-action/CGI hybrid movie based on a video game that is the Sim City of roller coasters, written by the dudes behind the sequel to Paul Blart Mall Cop? Fandango just put out a Craigslist ad asking for EMERGENCY TICKET SALESMEN, I’m sure. Wasn’t this one of the time capsule prophecies in Nicolas Cage’s Knowing? I give up, you guys. I’m moving to space. (Thanks for the tip, Gideon, Westley, and AmericanPatriot.)
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I’m saving my eight bucks for Monopoly.
saving = flushing down the toilet
I don’t think Monopoly taught financial advice well then.
I’m broke! I’ll never live my dream of becoming a roller coaster tycoon!
The only way that I would see this is if the picture on this post was flashed on the screen every 5 seconds. The other four seconds of screen time would just be footage of otters, DUH.
That seems like a strange new form of torture.
is there a wacky talking bumper car? The public demands wacky talking bumper cars, and an wise cracking animal sidekick, may I suggest a ferret?
I’m holding out for ‘UNO: The Movie’ to come out in December of 2012.
The Wild Card will be played by Charlie Day
Charlie Day IS The Wildcard
That idea is toying with a well-played SKIP card. (Or at least I hope so.)
The joke is on us. Even though it will be terrible, roller coaster tycoon will make a million billion dollars.
Although by the time it is actually released, inflation will mean that that is only equal to 17 tickets.
And it will be called “CyberRoller SpaceCoaster Tycoon 3.5D”
I hope their Rollercoaster Tycoon movie ends like all my Rollercoaster Tycoon games did, with the tycoon getting bored and trapping all the park visitors in an endless queue line and then surrounding it with a moat so they could never escape. Actually that’s probably the partial plot for Saw 9.
That, or it ends with people on a roller coaster that runs straight into the ground.
Split the difference: roller coaster runs straight into the queue of trapped people. Perfect.
Don’t forget the streets strewn with throw up because I couldn’t be bothered to hire workmen to clean up after the visitors with weak stomachs. (And on that note, I hope this isn’t the movie where 3D/Smell-o-vision finally takes off.)
I think that picture should be included on all future Duh Aficionado posts.
Also it took me 4 minutes of scrolling back and forth to make sure I didn’t spell it Officionato
I’m just wondering if those two people in the picture were friends, because if they were, I bet they aren’t anymore.
Throwing up on your friend, and ruining his favorite black tank top, that’s a dealbreaker!
If this is anything like the game was for me, then there’s going to be a whole lotta death scenes.
just one train full of people whose names have been changed to be jokes about butts flying off an unfinished roller coaster after another.
also, wacky mascots! james cameron is slated to direct.
(guys this is my first post did i do it right?)
Yup! Welcome!
thanks!
Apparently that guy in puking IS NOT a ride warrior: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDPZDy69fdI
I had a friend in college and freshman year his roomate was a roller-coaster enthusiast. This kid had posters of roller coasters all over his dorm room, he worked at some amusement park during the summer and took road trips to others in order to ride the coasters. He also played Roller Coaster Tycoon pretty much any time he wasn’t doing actual school work or in class. Anyway, one fateful evening towards the end of the year, my friend returns from the gym to find this kid fully nude and sitting in his giant office chair all the way across the room from his computer, jerkin’ it.
This story is funny enough just from the typical college hijinx point of view but I like to take it a step further. See, my friend recoiled in horror and didn’t see to what the roller coaster kid was enjoying himself. I like to think that he had finally become the ultimate roller coaster tycoon and was simply sitting back (across the room) enjoying his majestic accomplishments.
The point of this story is: at least one person will be thrilled by this piece of trash film.
Voice of that one character from Family Guy: “You think THAT’S bad!? I currently have optioned the rights to the Monster Plantation Ride at Six Flags Movie.”
LOL?
Gabe, is there room in your space condo for two?
my favorite thing about the Duh Aficionado entries is that they are always just a bit less ridiculous than the actual magazine Cigar Aficionado.
i want to see an epic battle between good and evil unfold during a two hour ride on this:
Better yet, a chase scene.
Kevin James inherits an amusement park from a long-lost mad uncle, who (in the videotaped reading of the will) reveals one of his greatest pleasures was taking Kevin James up on Ferris wheel. (Insert revelation of some embarrassing detail that Kevin James has to laugh off.) Dead uncle, played by Leslie Nielsen, farts or something and the will reading is over. Kevin James has no memory of this Ferris wheel ride, but shrugs and decides to go visit with his HILARIOUS family (precocious son, snotty teenage daughter, and way-too-hot-for-him wife).
CUT TO: Rundown amusement park basically staffed by one guy (Rob Schneider? sure.), who gives Kevin James the grand (not grand) tour.
Oh my god. I can’t keep going. This is the movie, though. There Will Be Vomit. And a wild animal attack. And fat jokes.
I bet the Roller Coaster Tycoon will be played by a white guy.
But there will be a spunky, bumbling assistant played by a Wayans brother.
He will die in the first 45 minutes though.
I bet only white people played this game.
Maybe as long as it has Tim Curry, we’ll be okay. Clue was good, right?
I never saw it, so unfortunately, I have no Clue.
Clue was/is actually pretty awesome. Maybe there’s something to actually having a story line to start with…
Clue is and will always be one of my favorite movies.
Hey I have a serious question. Why did they have to buy the movie rights to this game? Couldn’t they just make a movie about rival amusement park owners constantly one-upping each other with comically ridiculous rides and not involve the game? I mean, we’re talking about roller coasters. Atari doesn’t own the trademark on roller coasters (I assume). No one had to buy the movie rights to SimCity to make 2012 or Armageddon (I assume), and the plot is basically the same:
1. Build city
2. Destroy city
3. Plucky hero survives (optional)
4. Cheesy 80s-style power ballad
5. Profit.