Photos
Earlier this week, on a small, unassuming post about a movie trailer, a commenter named nakedpainter posted about contemplating suicide. This turned into a fairly serious thread in which other monsters urged nakedpainter not to hurt herself and to seek help. Needless to say, I, and everyone at Videogum and Stereogum, took this situation very seriously. Because so many of you have sent concerned emails asking if nakedpainter is OK, I would like everyone to know that I was able to get in touch with her, and although she is still obviously in a dark place, she is doing better now. She also wanted to thank the entire Videogum community for their outpouring of support during her moment of crisis. So, that is great news. While Videogum is not, because it cannot properly be, a useful resource in combatting chronic depression and its dangerous effects, I am glad that we were able to help in this case. And I would urge anyone who feels alone or in trouble not to try and solve the problem on your own. There are people and places in this world that can help you, even if it sometimes doesn’t feel that way.
Yikes. I guess we’re still going to do this? Even after all that? So, after the jump, the five Highest Rated comments of the week, the Lowest Rated comment of the week, the winner of the Real Housewives of New Jersey caption contest, and the Editor’s Choice:
This Week’s Highest Rated Comments
| #5 |  |
werttrew | May 5th | Score:101 |
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My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer about two months ago. She had a mastectomy to remove a tumor in her left breast. She’s been going through chemo and her hair started falling out. My wife is a hairstylist, so last Friday we came over to cut my mom’s hair in the kitchen. Mom sat down on the chair as my wife plugged in her clippers.“Tell me something funny, please” my mom said to me. I held her hand and said something lame but she laughed anyway. I kept talking to her and soon her hair was all gone. She looked like my grandfather without it. Her eyes were kind and sad and she still looked beautiful. She then showed us her wig and the scarves she had bought to wear around the house. She had me take pictures as she modeled each one so she could e-mail to her family (She can’t be bother with Facebook). She thanked me and my wife for coming over and hugged me real tight before I left. Love you, mom. |
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| Posted in: Gabe And Max Wish All The Moms A Happy Mother’s Day | |||
| #4 |  |
KajusX & Chainsaws | Apr 30th | Score:106 |
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You spelled ‘what’ all sorts of wrong. |
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| Posted in: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments | |||
| #3 | Cory Butcher | May 4th | Score:112 | |
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We should still put her down just to be safe. |
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| Posted in: That’s Your Girlfriend: Tyra Banks | |||
| #2 |  |
An American Patriot | May 3rd | Score:122 |
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LOOK, STEVE. I FUCKIN appreciate YOUR EXISTENCE. ALRIGHT? The fact that WE CAN ALL HAVE some lawnmower world WHERE WE log on and EXPRESS OUR THOUGHTS AND feelings is great. AND IT’S OKAY to have different OPINION. IT’S fine! THAT’S WHAT makes AMERINET fuckin BADASS! BUT THERE comes a point WHERE YOU GOTTA look yourself IN THE mirror AND GO “HOLY FUCK what is my deal?” BECAUSE HOLY fucking donkey BALLS DUDE WHAT is your deal? I get that YOU MIGHT NOT like shit and THAT YOU EVEN think Lost is fuckin TERRIBLE. FINE! I GENERALLY find your comments BORING AS ALL hell and unnecessary BUT HAVE never felt the NEED TO say shit UNTIL now. I KNOW you have a FOLLOWING on here, and there’s PEOPLE THAT DON’T like me. HOWEVER, THE time has FUCKIN COME for me to seriously ASK WHAT THE hell kind of enjoyment do YOU GET OUT OF this shit? YOU’RE NOT even original trolling! IT’S fuckin LAZYTOWN over here. You HAVE STARTED to cross the LINE RECENTLY though when YOU FUCKIN insult the shit OUT OF people. YOU’VE EVEN thrown DS3M INTO a goddamn frenzy (WHICH, GRANTED, MAY NOT be that HARD BUT shit). WHY THE fuck do you have TO HATE ON a goddamn dog? SERIOUSLY? IT’S A fuckin dog, AND IF you honestly FEEL THAT part of your day dictates THAT YOU log on to here ONLY TO post HOW MUCH you dislike this DOG AND EVERYONE that thinks THIS DOG IS FUCKIN awesome, then I have no idea WHAT TO EVEN SAY. REALLY. LIKE YOU leave me at a lost FOR WORDS WITH that kind of fuckin pointlessness. IT’S FINE to want to contribute to THE CONVERSATION, AND DO SO with differing opinion, but you’re JUST A DICK. YOU’RE just a dick WHO LIKES TO log on to here and PISS PEOPLE OFF for no reason. SO YOU’RE fuckin out, SON. I’M SORRY that you live the FUCKIN SORRY ass life that you MUST LIVE. I REALLY hope things pick the FUCK UP FOR you so you can FIND BETTER SHIT to do. Your friend, An American Patriot |
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| Posted in: The Birdie Report: Hi, Birdie! | |||
| #1 |  |
paperstreetsoap | Apr 30th | Score:126 |
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“That Nick Madson is a thief is undeniable. Maybe, I thought, he’s a truly struggling actor, and did this show because he needed money, and feels bad about it. Or maybe he’s one of those deluded souls, like columnist and commentator Mike Barnicle (who lifted the majority of an August 2, 1998 Boston Globe column unchanged from George Carlin’s book Brain Droppings) who truly think that stand-up comedians get their jokes from books, and that any comedy bit is somehow public domain. But then I find out that one of the other comedians on the show confronted Madson about the bits. And he said, in effect, “I write for Patton, and Louie, and Dave. I wrote those bits”. So fuck him.” - Nick Madson |
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| Posted in: America, Meet Your New Joke Thief: Nick Madson | |||
Ed. note: If I had to pick a Monsters’ Ball column that really demonstrated the breadth and depth of the community, it might be this one! Because this week’s highest rated comments really run the gamut! You’ve got one-liners and elaborate call-backs. You’ve got werrtrew’s touching comment about his mom, and AmericanPatriot’s semi-insane but ultimately pretty rational excoriation of Steve Winwood. It’s like the United Colors of Benetton. Except not a clothing line. And not weirdly exploitative of fractious race relations in order to sell clothing. Just Internet comments. But, like, different kinds? You get it.
This Week’s Lowest Rated Comments
| #1 |  |
garbage_face | May 3rd | Score:-81 |
| Hey guys, I thought we were going to give ME the lowest votes this week! What’s wrong with you?!? | |||
| Posted in: The Birdie Report: Hi, Birdie! | |||
Ed. note: This is the first week in awhile that Steve Winwood hasn’t taken the Lowest Rated Comment award (haha, “award”) but this was actually a response to Steve Winwood in order to draw away his downvotes in some kind of “take back the downvotes” protest of his strangehold on being everyone’s least favorite. So in a sense, he still basically wins this week’s Lowest Rated Comment. You’ve done it again, Steve Winwood!
This Week’s Caption Contest Winner
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Mans | May 4th | Score:77 | |
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Tila Tequila’s Gossip Blog Forced To Downsize Staff |
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| Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: The Real Housewives Of New Jersey | |||
Ed. note: Congratulations, Mans. You earned it!
This Week’s Editor’s Choice
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platinumtoothbrush | May 5th | Score:15 | |
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Why won’t Gabe let Betty White be great? |
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| Posted in: Betty White, An Elderly Woman, Hosts Saturday Night Live This Weekend | |||
Ed. note: Everyone needs to RELAX. As far as I am concerned, Betty White can do whatever she wants, and more power to her. She is a grown woman. She is literally as grown as women get. But this is not about Betty White and has never been about Betty White. It is about how the Internet is obnoxiously self-satisfied with its absurdist ruses. You know what else has never been about Betty White? THE INTERNET’S OUTPOURING OF SUPPORT OF BETTY WHITE. (And don’t even bother posting a “You Mad” photo because I’ve already done it for you.)
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Oh that’s cool, Internet, just go ahead and hide my picture of Animal the Muppet. I wasn’t 100% sold on my joke anyway.
Have Animal’s teeth ALWAYS been made of blanched almonds? I never realized!
While we’re on the subject, Richard Burbage was a theater actor in England who came to prominence as a member of William Shakespeare’s “Lord Chamberlain’s Men” in the late 1500s and was known to be a total party animal.
Richard Burbage: 1568-1619, reincarnated in 1987 as Ke$ha, died 2012
Why on earth did someone downvote this? Burbage was one of the first hard partyers! Let’s show some respect!
I know! It was probably that knave Cuthbert Burbage.
he looks like daniel stern’s special brother
I WANT YOU TO HAVE ALL THE UPVOTES EVER
She’s pretty.
oh. you’re back. good.
Mmmm Tyra Bankses’ talents and skill sets. Got some Steve Winwood drool in my beard, yo.
This week was great, you monsters are amazing!
Everybody go on Chat, it’s really good tonight!
Also, I wasn’t here for the Machete thread but I read back over it and a lot of the posts there were really touching. You’re a great group of people and I’m proud to be involved with this community, such as it is.
I missed that entire Machete thread. Videogum is giving @mrskutcher a run for her money!
I know, you miss one post and you miss all that. Good to hear this is still EverythingisprettymuchOKgum.com over here.
I missed it too, but reading that thread was both really inspiring and really sad. I’m happy to know what wonderful, kind, caring people most monsters are, and I’m so glad nakedpainter is doing better now. It did make me sad to see how many monsters suffer/have suffered from depression though. Take care everyone and keep up the LOLZ- it’s good for your health!
I missed it too, but reading back on it, it really goes to show that even some of the funniest people on the wwweb (world war web) are also some of the Best.
I don’t nearly come by the comments section as often as I once did (it’s been a crazy, hectic and amazing few months IRL!) but I do read VG everyday, and all your comments as well–it’s definitely a wonderful respite from some of the more frustrating aspects of making films and passing college and moving to New York in a month’s time. Seeing the funny used for good and not evil is totally refreshing. I don’t think what happened with nakedpainter here could have happened anywhere else.
What I’m trying to say is… aw, come here, I love you Videogum, ya big lug.
so I haven’t checked out the gum in a couple days and missed the Machete post. I made an off the cuff remark in a post a couple days ago about wanting an ex-girlfriend to “kill herself”. I obviously was not in any way serious, and basically was just referring to the previous commenters odd use of quotation marks. I feel though that in light of the recent thread I was careless and perhaps a little over the line. Having had bouts with depression myself I use humor as a defense and can sometimes come across as insensitive when that is not the intention. I hope all is ok with nakedpainter.
That was me, and I did not see the Machete thread until it was brought up here. Had I known about the sensitive issue at hand I never would have posted what I did. I’m no monster, I apologize if folks read it and thought it was a tasteless riff on the very serious situation that was before us. Not my intent at all. When I read the above Monster’s Ball post my heart sank into my shoes. I’ve been there, many of us have been there, I hope nakedpainter finds the help she needs and/or a way in which to deal with the pain. LOVE YOU, YOU GUYS.
On at least three occasions the lowest voted comment has been by someone who has asked to be the lowest voted comment. Which leads me to wonder whether this will work…
Can I be the highest voted comment this week please?
It did not work for me. ever. so EFF YOU!
Now I’ll never get my videogum Egot!
*pout*
All I need is fourth place, EC and the caption, and I’ll have a full set!
you are going to FSTFCEC+W nice
i’m the ultimate fluke. the only times i’ve ever made the monsters ball i came in first. its either that or …..no where close to the list.
You just deserve it just for being a part of the Spasmatic Pentagrams, yo! XOXO
Technically I’m not a part, the Spasmatic Pentagrams are my backing band. Were my backing band.
But if one of them decides to join Videogum, I’ll make sure to let ya’ll know, and then you can give ‘em all the upvotes.
You still deserve first place just for your HAIR! lol
I am so glad to hear nakedpainter is okay.
I e-mailed her to say we were all thinking of her and glad to hear she was ok, and that I hope she’d think of our comments next time she feels down. She sent a really nice message back and said she would. So that’s cool.
Agreed. I thought about her every day.
SMOOCH
Sorry, Gabe. I couldn’t help myself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9h6pcqC6wrI
Even if you posted this in error. I still gave me a jam to finish off my Friday.
Thanks Bro-christrash-Ham.
I would also like to say: Everyone is really great. I love this site because of the intelligence and humor of the posts and comments. It is a really great place to be part of–especially this week. I think alot is made of the alienating aspects of the internet, and while that is true, this magic machine clearly has the ability to bring people together in real and human ways, to help us push through to reach one another and to allow others to reach us. I am happy that this is a place where people feel comfortable being open and knowing that IT WILL BE OKAY.
Also, thanks on the Caption Contest Win, but I don’t think I had the highest score. I think RunBMC did, by a full three points. It was some funny.
I has a sad
;(
Okay, I can’t even do emoticons right!
But seriously, Mans, yours was funnier.
I’m not even sure what a winking sad face means, except maybe, “I lost a contact”.
Maybe it is a flirtatious emo?
I thought RunBMC won the caption contest too, although I don’t want to call into question Gabe’s counting skills. Also, didn’t this caption contest counting controversy happen last week too? But also I don’t want to steal Mans’ thunder, because Mans is great, and I’d like to nominate Mans for Manster’s Choice comment of the week, for truly helping out a fellow Manster when she needed it most. Thank you Mans!
Also, we are called Mansters now.
Manster’s Ball
GLITTER GLUE! ahh the best.
You know what, I think you are right. I was in a rush today. I am in a rush every day, but I was in a rush today. Congratulations to RunBMC. You earned it! And congratulations to Mans, still. This is, after all, for fun.
But my sincere apologies to the friends and family of RunBMC who must have been devastated by this error.
Hey Gabe, will you be doing any Videogumming about Friday Night Lights season 4 which debuted tonight?
I know people with DirecTV have most likely already seen this season or whatever, but I have not and now it’s on NBC every Friday and I am seeing this season for the first time and I was really happy to see the first episode tonight and YAY Friday Night Lights!
P.S. I finally know the answer to the question “What happened to Wallace, String?!” He’s on Friday Night Lights!!! Yay!
I’m watching it on NBC, too! I’m so glad it’s good again (I couldn’t get into season 3)
You did good my Mans. I came here for the Winwood, but I found out the VG community is what really matters. This week was like a special episode of a sitcom I am really proud to be a part of. Sorry, Steve we are done(takes Winwood’s picture out of wallet, tears it off)
Winwoodism
April 2010-May 2010
Manism
May 2010-?
P.S. Love you Mansters
Mans should be awarded 1st Prize in the Nice Monster category. What a nice, wonderful monster!
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Your commitment is really inspiring,,,
Nobody likes you.
Looks like someone is J-E-A-L-O-U-S because they are no longer my favorite monster.
C’mon guys don’t downvote Steve Winwood.
Sorry Stevie It’s over. Take care, I hope you can find someone else who is interested in your psychopathic awesomeness. (kisses Steve Winwood in his furry,metallic head). Goodbye.
I meant sociopathic, sorry.
Breathe. Just concentrate on your breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth.
I kinda get why you’re pissed, possibly. I’m gonna hypothesize here. People call you antisocial in real life, but you disagree. It’s not that you’re antisocial, it’s that you’re never given the opportunity to express yourself. But this has been going on a long time and maybe you’ve forgotten whatever special thing within yourself it was you wanted to express in the first place. But here, on Videogum, you found acceptance for a while. Not by expressing yourself as you really are, but by playing a character because, as I said, it’s been a long time since you’ve ever been accepted for who you are. But, hey, any response is a connection of some kind, amiright? Even if the point of connection is where face and fist meet.
The thing is, you can’t play a character forever. That shit gets old. You shouldn’t change because the Videogum monsters have turned against you. That’s meaningless. You should change becuse if this is the only way you can interact with the world, something’s going wrong in you. And if you can’t see that, I don’t know what to say. But I have faith that you can see that. So maybe take a break from Videogum. Eat more celery. Meditate. Stuff like that. Because what I’m seeing here is not a happy Steve Winwood.
But don’t read The Secret. That’s bullshit.
For someone who recently resigned from posting long diatribes, I am failing miserably.
umm….zing?
I have a total friend crush on you, Mans!
I’ve never commented before this week because I didn’t want to become a monster, but now I’m starting to think that you guys aren’t monsters after all. You’re just some nice people who love their moms. Momsters.
I agree. I don’t comment on this site a WHOLE lot, and I missed the Machete thread, but reading all of your comments made me appreciate this site. Just the fact that there’s actually a site where the comments section doesn’t devolve into fighting and criticizing each others tastes. It’s awesome to know that there are people willing to help (otherwise) complete strangers.
Also, I love your avatar. Coffee and T.V. FTW. (By the way, FTW stands for Find the Watermelons in these here Monster parts.)
Upvote for the avatar.
Mans, I signed in after reading the Machete thread just to say that you are the balls, and my hero of the year.
Mans, you are definately my hero as well. I don’t have adequate words to express it!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Mans: I am proud to use the same internet as you.
Tots. I mean there are multiple Internetz. Let alone the tubes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f99PcP0aFNE
Thanks for the positivity. It means alot. I bough everyone Beanie Babies. I’m just going to set them by my computer–feel free to pick one when you get a chance. (All of you can Hackers into my office, right?)
Happy Monday.
I felt down for barely half a split second on the Machete thread as I realized the serious-serious nature far outweighed joke making or observations. I’m glad nakedpainter was able to speak out wherever she needed to, and even though I still mentioned chainguns in my one post while bookending it with serious concerns for nakedpainter, I still feel I should have waited to mention the ridiculous amount of chainguns in cinema going on here.
It’s like Chaingun Nouveau over here, amirite?
In Iron Man 2, the character War Machine, as we all know, has a chaingun onthe shoulder of his suit. That is the proper placement and use of a chaingun.
Put it on the front of a bike in a ridiculous Machete fake trailer, and that also is cool.
Make that fake bad trailer a real movie? Ehh, you’re pushing it a LOT, Rodriguez.
Then they double-up on the chainguns and put them on a horse in the Jonah Hex trailer along with dynamite crossbow launchers.
At this point I am done with the chainguns.
Just wheel out that giant hand-cranked gold one from Last Samurai, mount it onto a rabid Tyra Banks, turn her loose and get it OVER WITH, Hollywood!
“At this point I am done with the chainguns.”
-KajusX & Chainsaws
sonoova’ wrong link:
“To say, ‘I don’t like Betty White,’ is kind of like declaring that you’re a member of al-Qaeda.”–Craig Ferguson
“To say, ‘I don’t like Betty White,’ is kind of like declaring that you’re a member of al-Qaeda.”–Nick Madson
“Everyone needs to RELAX. ”
I love how Gabe thinks anyone who disagrees with his characterization of the Betty White meme is somehow unhinged/obsessed. Isn’t he the one who keeps bringing it up?
Oh, RR, when is this whole Sam and Diane thing between you and Gabe going to come to fruition?
“Me thinks thou dost protest too much” – GP
Gwenyth Paltrow?
- NM…Nick Madson.
Gabe, you mad. Congratulations, Monsters all, short and tall, big and small.
Happy weekend everybody. I love you.
*claps tearfully*
Its Friday! Time to get dressed up and ring in the magical weekend!
I admire that guy’s bravery. I have that exact same pink unicorn outfit in my closet, but I fear the constant threat of being shoved in trashcans too much to actually wear it…
Babies can’t be manicorns.
Way ahead of you Notsewfast.
Unfortunately I couldn’t find a scabbard to match my manicorn outfit, so I had to forego accessorizing with my Two Handed Great Sword. Ultimately I settled on carrying around my katana, unsheathed, which is not ideal but it will have to do for now.
I dated Matthew Barney briefly and it was pretty much just like that gif.
ART JOKEZ!
You couldn’t pay me to have sex with Matthew Barney.
I’m going to go to Things Remembered and have this engraved on something.
That horn is so not phallic in the least.
Lovegum: I love you guys!
Unfortunately I missed werttrew’s touching account of his mom but because it was rated so highly I got the chance to read it now and now the monster tears have been flowing. This really is the best place to be on the internet
btw Gabe, I totally agree with you about Betty White. What is the deal internet? She’s not that great.
I am a hollow reed. I am a hollow reed.
I also missed it on account of my now intermittent-at-best Videogum readership (sorry Gabe! You still my main shit! [Oh my god what??]), but it definitely ranks as one of my favorite comments of all time, not to mention favorite Wert comment of all time…and not just because it doesn’t have a gif in it! (I’m sorry Werttrew, I swear I didn’t say that to be rude or flippant. Sincerely, you are one of my favorite people both on Vgum and Twitter and I’m sure IRL if I ever were to know you in that capacity. And if I had read your comment when you posted it I would have said that it was unbelievably [well, believably in your case I guess] well-written and it made me feel simultaneously impressed and sympathetic and sorry and glad that I know you. Not sure why all this is in parentheses. I guess I’m prone to making needlessly parenthetical statements. Anyway. You’re wonderful and your comment is wonderful and I’m glad I know you. Have fun in Europe! Still so jealous! Will you eat a French macaron for me please, preferably pistachio or salted caramel?)
I have to have at least one ridiculous, tangentially-related diatribe per week I guess.
I swear this was originally a comment to you, musicgeeky!
I didn’t see AnAmericanPatriot’s takedown of SW until just now. And wow.
I actually almost did the same thing (not nearly as insanely, or well)! I was a little bitter with all the Betty White stuff (look, it’s complicated, but we are in fact calming down about this. I’ll be back to DharmaBum sometime in a week or so, I imagine), and then Winwood had to go and say “eeewwwwwww no homo!” (not modifying his own potentially homoerotic statement and explaining that he is not in fact gay, as is the accepted practice which I’m not sure I am against, but rather responding to the suggestion of homosexuality with unambiguous ‘GROSSGETITAWAYFROMME’) which actually made me blind with rage for a minute, and I almost decided that the internet is just not worth it.
But you guys. YOU GUUYYYYYYYZZZZ!
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Beats me man, it’s out there somewhere. One of your 2 or 3,000 weekly posts. And you didn’t say “anything.” You said “eeewwwwww no homo!” because you’re 12.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
It was on a .gif of a man kissing another man on the cheek. I don’t remember what thread though. I was also upset about this.
To clarify: I was upset about the comment, not the gif.
http://videogum.com/176921/you-be-the-blog-the-real-housewives-of-new-jersey-recaps/tv/
First comment (you), was replied to by a (really quite adorable) .gif, to which you replied with exactly what I said. Ok, admittedly, I included an exclamation point when you used a period. So I did technically paraphrase you. Please forgive me.
Don’t call me a liar. Now go back under your bridge.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I am still the worst!” – Steve Winwood
Maybe half of Steve Winwood’s posts are typed in a raging, flailing Popov blackout. The other half are made by a quasi-normal and -considerate human being who has no idea where that whole plastic jug of lighter-fluid vodka went.
This is just a poorly written sentence. – Nick Madson
It’s nice when people have good relationships with their moms, even if they call their moms by their first names (which is weird. Not “more adult” or “mature,” weird).
However anyone manages to have good relationships with their parents, all being adult and respecting them as adults and equally flawed people and everything, I don’t understand, but it’s admirable.
It was never about Betty White
-Gabe’s Tombstone 1908-2012
One thing I’ve always wondered:
Who’s going to be around to make all these tombstones in 2012?
I will be. ZING!
*ironygum
YOU CRAZY FO THIS ONE, NAKEDPAINTER!
: )
YAAAAAAAAAY!
you awesome.
Straight into my LOLk with that one.
Videogum:
TOTALLY WRONG PIC! One more internet heave:
http://www.artpassions.net/ galleries/rackham/alice11.jpg
then I give up. it’s meant to be the Mock Turtle and the Gryphon with Alice.
I see now that they don’t like you swiping their pic…
Take that, internet!
Let us dance the lobster quadrille!
Thanks Dish! Careful out there amongst them Atriedes.
They aren’t the only ones! (It’s ok, Cooperman, I like to think you’re my soulmate.)
Indeed, Lulubelle. In the realm of monsters, bunnies must gum together.
To all those awesome monsters on here and on Twitter (and btw, I will follow you back–@trevorjackson–ferreal), I think I’ll let Annie Clark say it for me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8f0DKR037PA
She’s pretty.
No, seriously. I find her to be very beautiful.
Is she saying “I love Hugh”?
Jk. Seriously though, she’s the best. Betty White has nothing on her.
Rats. My first (and probably only) entry into Monster’s Ball is haunted by the spectre of Steve Winwood. Oh well! That’s the way the downvotes crumble! Anyhoo, congratulations to Mans, AnAmPat, werttrew, KajusX, Cory Butcher, and Paperstreetsoap and platinumtoothbrush on all of your actual, EARNED posts.
I’m going to celebrate by doing this:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=107983242573869&ref=ts
I would like to ask that any Atlanta monsters make yourselves known. I only know of one other, so reply here, and we can go get a beer or something.
I am an Atlanta monster.
And you have a sweet avatar. (Been meaning to mention that for weeks, but you’re so sporadic! Look at me handing out the avatarmmys around here.)
Well thanks! I know I’m pretty sporadic on here, mostly because by the time I get a chance to check out the day’s posts there’s already 100+ comments, and I’m like “Awwww HELL, there’s nobody who’ll look at my comment now!”. I should probably have faith that these threads sometimes live forever. Like Dick Clark.
Iz you relly a pootie tang?
Baby, I’m going to sine your pitty on the runny kine!
Sometimes I’m forced to be an ATLonster due to working requirements.
So one and a half? Good enough! Let’s go get a beer or something! Shall I assume that DrinkPlanner is making the drink plans?
I’m fine with that, if we can get a group together. FULL DISCLOSURE: I’m OTP, so my tastes are biased towards the outer-northwest areas of teh ATL. I know many of the snooty places downtown with local-famous beer selections and whatnot (Leon’s, Brick Store, The Fred, 5 Seasons, Tower Package, Hop City, etc. But regular-dude places I’m not totally in-sync with. I’m not picky, as long as I can order something that’s not a Corona or American Horsepiss, I’m good.
If it makes you feel any better garbage_face, AnAmPat’s and my comments this/last week were direct responses to Steve LOSEwood’s (amirite? iamrite) comments.
i’ve just added “Elaborate Call-Backer” to my business cards.
Okay, here goes. My first image post. *Takes a deep breath*
z.about.com/d/weirdnews/1/0/W/0/-/-/Pied_Piper_Duck_Fashion_Show_500.jpg
Yay! Duck-sized fedoras all around!
Upon seeing this picture I made the same exact face the dog is making.
For some reason I always wonder if ducks in people clothes are crossdressing or not.
#relurks
Bunny Avatar!!!!
I know what you mean, especially because I saw these guys again yesterday, dressed like this:
Hmmm…
these are salchicha’s ducks!
No fowl games in couture/fashion? ahyuck – BANG!
I miss everything around here!
For no reason other than I made this gif to see if I had what it takes to make a gif and it’s Friday and watching this girl dance always makes me happy (not necessarily or at least not always in a pervy way) and EVERYONE should be happy on Friday, here. A gif for all the lovely monsters. If this works, I will probably post a follow-up comment congratulating myself, so you have that to look forward to as well. Happy Friday!
I am awestruck by the vertigo-inducing heights of my own genius.
Also, I had no idea that the nakedpainter stuff was going on and I feel a bit weird that I was posting nonsense stories about Galactus while all that was happening elsewhere on the site. Anyway, for what it’s worth nakedpainter, I’m no stranger to depression and the only thing that will reliably get you through it is time, in my experience. Things do get better. Just ride it out and know that there are people who care about you. It’s pretty awesome that you’ve been given so much support on this site and that it actually made a difference. It makes me happy to be a monster.
Also, I don’t know if this is helpful or not, but Infinite Jest is the best book about depression I’ve ever read and I can honestly say that reading it improved my life and my ability to deal with shit. Maybe it won’t have that effect on you (if you haven’t already read it) but I’ll just throw that out there.
Also, I didn’t also the also because the also was alsoed, according to the alsometer. (I over-use the word also sometimes. Also, the word sometimes.)
Good night, and I hope you all find the dancing girl more enjoyable than annoying.
And if you don’t, I don’t give a care about status.
As a fellow depression-sufferer [Hi! Doesn't it suck?], I agree whole-heartedly with the David Foster Wallace sentiment. I haven’t read Infinite Jest because I have 0 attention span, but his story “The Depressed Person” pretty much puts the disease into words.
Infinite Jest is surprisingly readable and entertaining. It goes off on long digressions and when I read it I often wondered where it was all going, but I was never bored. It takes some effort to get through but every ounce of effort you put into it will be paid in full and then some.
I haven’t read The Depressed Person, but there’s a description of depression near the beginning of Infinite Jest, where depression is described as a black wing, that pretty much nailed it for me and made me sit up and pay attention to what this guy was saying.
I’m right there with you. I’ve only read Oblivion, but his graduation speech is something I try to live by daily. Ever read it?
http://moreintelligentlife.com/story/david-foster-wallace-in-his-own-words
“It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience. Because if you cannot exercise this kind of choice in adult life, you will be totally hosed. Think of the old cliché about ‘the mind being an excellent servant but a terrible master’.”
“The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship–be it JC or Allah, be it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles–is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive.”
“And the so-called real world will not discourage you from operating on your default settings, because the so-called real world of men and money and power hums merrily along in a pool of fear and anger and frustration and craving and worship of self.”
Those are my favourite bits from the speech but they don’t constitute a summary.
What I love about David Foster Wallace is that he expresses things that are such a part of my own experience that it’s like I could’ve written them myself, if I were more fluent.
I can’t thank you enough for posting that link, merrywanderer. The world needs more David Foster Wallace.
You are so awesome!!! And congrats on the dancing girl! I can’t even post a bunny picture! I guess after 30 you lose your ability to learn new things with html. I don’t know how Gabe does it!
*teasinggum.org (for Gabe – tee hee)
Hey, I’m 35, less than a month away from turning 36. And I learned! You don’t need to know any html, just go to gifsoup.com and it’s pretty self-explanatory. Werttrew has an explanation posted on his tumblr site, here: http://werttrew.tumblr.com/ The explanation is somewhere in there, but he posts the exact link pretty regularly. That’s how I learned. I have no idea what cosmic decree forced him to descend and chronicle the goings-on at Videogum with such thoroughness, but I’m glad that those who decree things cosmically decreed it thus.
That’s a great dancing girl gif!
Who is that goddess dancing girl gif????? Woof she is the prettiest girl. Makes me want to cry
Not to stir up any “trouble” (Ha) or anything but WTF is everyone talking about with the no homo thing? I don’t remember ever writing that or in what context that is.
Plus the only comment worthy of any upvotes at all (oohhhh I care sooooo much… NOT!!!) was my comment that predicted Gabe was just going to recap LOST in such a way as to demonstrate why it’s not a good show at all and reveal his own frustrations with said show. Therefore I am the winner of the real monsters ball, not any of you. The trade federation Asian sterotype character inhales the air on planet Naboo and says: “Aaaaahhh… VICTORY!” That’s me today, friend.
You probably don’t remember, but you wrote that “no homo” bit in a raging, flailing Popov blackout.
The dancing French girl is Alizee and the full video can be seen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceSxEjwXHcM You will not regret watching it in full. It’s just so goddamn upbeat.
You are a great man, krakatow who is watching silently
You have your moments too.
She’s pretty.
Uh oh, Cypher, stay away from The Matrix!
Awesome. I have nothing else to say. Just, awesome.
Now you’re just showing off
what the HELL, you guys?
I barely had a chance to check v-gum this week because I started my awesome new internship/job that actually has me busy from the time I come in until the time I leave, and then I see this stuff about the Machete post, and AnAmPat serving Steve Winwood like no one has been served, and I’M OVERWHELMED HERE.
You guys are great though, and I’m sorry that I can’t be as immersed here as I would like. Hope you have fantastic weekends, and thanks to the monsters who wished me happy birthday last weekend.
- xoxo Brosworth
I missed the whole Machete post, but reading the whole thing unfold just now (a few days afterwards; I’m sorry) really made me tear up. It makes me want to find out where nakedpainter is and hug her. I know The Internet is kind of impersonal by its very nature, but the outpouring of support really defied that and broke through to sincere human connection. For the first time ever, The Internet has instilled my faith in people to be decent, kind, and loving to each other. Wow. Just – wow.
I don’t know how to close this without sounding either insensitive or hokey, so – here’s to nakedpainter, and here’s to life.
Hugs back to you!
May we meet up again on this wonderful blog!
Have a great weekend!!!
I was not around like, at all this week (Thesisgum >>>>> Videogum), but having caught up on all the goings on during my absence, I would like to raise my glass to two gentlemen and scholars of the highest caliber: to Mans, for taking swift and decisive action and gallantly helping NP out in her time of need (I’m so glad you’re doing better, NP. my heart goes out to you and your family, keep on rocking in the free world PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!), and to probably the most fascinating character in the history of this hallowed blog, An American Patriot, once derided as an unconscionable curr, now offically minted as a hero in my book for his TRULY EPIC AND BROOTAL dressing-down of that trolling scoundrel known as Steve Winwood, may he now and forever hang his head in internet shame. Bravo, friends! Bravo! Now let’s all get out into the warm, gracious sunshine of this weekend, and have some damn good fun just exploring and feeling the kind air in our lungs! HOODILALLY! HOOOOOODILALLY!
Your Friend,
P.P.
Jesus, I need to go to sleep. Those >’s should obviously be facing the other way. OBVIOUSLY. Goodnight, you monsters of Maine. You monsters of New England.
Maine monster, here! And now I’m off to the fish market. Fer reels.
I truly enjoy your flair with words – I’m guessing that you’re an English major, probably writing his/her thesis on some form of either English or American lit of the 19th century? because I totally recognize that style-bleeding-through effect that happens when you immerse yourself in the literature of a different time (because I am a nerd) – but I stand by my assertion that Steve Winwood isn’t that bad. I get why the “no homo” comment got under people’s skin – that was tactless and dumb – but I still don’t understand why he provokes such a visceral reaction. Remember the hot dog! “And the card attached would say / ‘I attached a card to your hot dog.’” Funny! You have to understand that the same person who wrote that is the same person writing all the “She’s pretty” and “FAIL” comments, with a wink buried somewhere in the corner of his eye. I’ll allow that he should step up his game, but I believe he’s capable of rising to the occasion. Steve Winwood, if you can hear me, rise to the occasion! Only post when you have something to say! Sometimes less is more! But that doesn’t mean you have to leave!
But I will join you, P.P., in your toast to Mans, who is awesome, and even though I don’t 100% agree with him on this occasion, to An American Patriot. It’s been a pretty eventful week in Videogumland.
This is the last long-winded post I’ll do for a while. Promise.
Krakatoa, I am actually the child of two English majors; I am what happens when two dorks who studied British Lit in college decide to spawn (gross, sorry)…in reality I am a film major, and I just finished my thesis, which I’ve been working on for nearly a whole year now, so I’m kind of feeling like Tom Hanks at the end of Cast Away: lost sense of purpose, adrift, overwhelmed by food and electricity and the bed i haven’t really slept in for weeks. #extendedmetaphorsgum
And as far as Mr. Winwood goes…I have to agree that the hot dog comment made me Lots of Love when I first read it, but he’s worn out his welcome as far as I’m concerned. If he did more stuff like that hot dog poem, I’d welcome him with open arms. He’s clearly decided to use his powers for evilgum, not goodgum. And that’s sad, but I simply refuse to feed the trolls, especially on this site, which is LITERALLY the one safe haven for people who just want to have a good time and get along and be friends. It’s not even like that on stereogum, the SITE DIRECTLY NEXT TO THIS ONE ON MAIN STREET, INTERNET USA. you can’t say aaaaaaanything on that site without a bunch of hipster bros jumping down your throat. This is a special little community that everyone involved with should be damn proud to be a part of–I know I am!–and if Stevie W. is going to try and rain on everyone’s parade, then he should be sent to live on that farm out in the country along with Da Cake Eatur and mangum and the rest of the Videogum trolls.
Nevertheless, Krakatoa, I raise my glass to you as well, and if you ever find yourself in Philadelphia, look me up, and we’ll dine on the cheapest, gassiest Mexican food that ten bucks can buy! HUZZAH!
Your Friend,
P.P.
Phillygum!!!
You know what, P.P.? After reading some of his posts on this thread, I’ve realized that I’m over Steve Winwood. So I retract everything I said, apart from the glass raising. Maybe some people just can’t rise to the occasion. I’m not gonna expend any more energy defending the guy because that would be a full time job. I hereby resign from Team Winwood. You’re on your own, buddy, although I’m sure my resignation won’t cut you too deeply.
And thanks for the long and thoughtful reply, P.P. That’s always a nice thing to get and I agree that this is the only place I’ve found on the internet you can get one. For the record, my name is a warning. I’m not actually Krakatoa, I’m a Krakatoa Alarmist. I’m on the ground with the rest of you, watching the skies….
YOU ARE A TERRIBLE MAN, Krakotow who is watching silently!!! You’re only chance for redemption is to share more pictures of that pretty dancing chick, Alizee(sp?)
There’s an accent aigu over the first e but yep, that’s the correct spelling. Huzzah!
But no more pictures for you! They make you hyper.
I also missed the majority of this week due to lots of work and knitting club responsibilities (yes, I am 970 years old, suck on it, Methuselah), but I am also overwhelmed by the amount that went on.
Naked Painter, if you’re reading this: it probably sounds like the most obvious kind of advice, but 3 years of therapy with a very kind therapist has really helped take me from panic attacks to having a much more grounded and positive view of myself, so I recommend it. Without it, I might never have quit my terrible job! Also, sometimes it’s nice having some one who can be there for you, in the capacity that you need them to be, every time you see them. Psychology Today online is how I found mine.
Anyways, I hope that things start to look up.
After I wrote this, I went back an read the list of the ‘best little pleasures’ at the end of this article from the Telegraph. Always makes me feel good inside:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6913986/Good-nights-sleep-voted-lifes-greatest-little-pleasure.html
This was very sweet and informative.
Well I think Steve Winwood is a boonduhlayfun!
Those would be great last words on this thread, The Lost eekend.
w
Good Week Monsters.
Should be a good night too – I’m meeting Christrash and Arbitrary!! MONSTAH NETWORK
Monsters cubed.
I love this website.
I love lamp.
stupid lamp
I still love Birdie.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
You guys! I’ve been lurking on Videogum for longer than you’ll probably care to know, and I feel like I couldn’t have picked a better week to make my commenting debut. You make me proud to live on the internet.
I’m relatively new, myself. Lets build street cred together.
I’m up for it!
i am also new here. three monsterteers? maybe? no.
also, this is my first post. it seemed like an appropriate time.
Literally every last new monster is invited to the banquet for New Monsters.
Well, welcome you three!
Happy Monster’s Day! I hope you all woke your monster up early and made them breakfast in bed.
Bartender! A round of monstertinis for me and my new friends!
ditto on the so fresh & so clean commenters. This is maybe my second time commenting but YAY EVERYONE HELLO
I just started commenting a couple weeks ago. It’s even more fun than just lurking!
Heh heh! I never even considered that I had the option of lurking when I found this site. As soon as I came across VGum for the first time I was like, “Oh, well I guess I need to sign up and start commenting. Here I go.”
Big ups (People still say that, right?) to all the fresh faces!
My name is Gubs, and I’m a Monster.
Is that how you do it?
Gwyneth Paltrow’s marriage is on the rocks…. why isn’t it Monday yet?!
She also has a new GOOP out which advises us all to work out for 2 hours a day and subsist on kale juice! YUM!
Last night I dreamt I robbed Gwyneth Paltrow.
I may or may not have accomplished this by being a jumper, like Hayden Christiansen in that movie Jumper.
Somebody down voted this… proof that Gwyneth Paltrow reads Videogum?
wow, I picked a bad time to have internet troubles. Ah well, good job, monsters. I’m proud.
We need a Lurker’s Ball. A place for lurkers to just sign up and say hi, without being downvoted or upvoted. Who agrees?
Hi. My names Slothdrop and I’ve been a lurker for 2 years… I don’t know how this addiction started but It just took control of my life and now I find that I cannot live without having my fix of videogum… I’ve gone to other groups and people have given me interventions but It hasn’t helped… Until now
Thank you Chris. The lurkers Ball really changed my life around.
Hi Everyone. I’m going to go back into my hiding spot again…
Oh my… that’s Perfect Blue. You’ve Perfect Blue?
Yep Satoshi Kon is one of my favorite filmakers… I have all his movies and Paranoia Agent.
A bit late to the party, but I am also a lover of Satoshi Kon. Such good movies. A platonic lover, I should add.