Nerds! Listen! You need to be more careful! As you nerds get older, there is this weird thing that happens where all of the social anxiety that you had felt for most of your life that forced you deeper and deeper into a non-traditional lifestyle centered around your idiosyncratic interests and hobbies becomes this kind of social confidence in which you proudly express the nerd that you have become. Now, on the one hand, this is great. It suggests that you nerds have found a certain level of happiness and self-esteem that you were lacking before. You’ve discovered that everyone in the world is doing their best to make it through the day, and while some people wrap themselves in the defensive armor of the status quo, you have opted for the more difficult path, and yet here you are, a proud nerd, still standing tall. Good for you! You are an interesting and complex human being, perhaps more interesting and complex than most, which means that you really are the special snowflake that your mom and math teachers always told you that you were to get you to stop crying.
But nerds, it is important for you to recognize, even in this new era of daring and bravery, that if someone is videotaping you karate dancing at a party, they don’t have your best interests at heart. It is still because they think you are a nerd, and they want to tease the nerd. I know it might seem like the videotaping is a compliment coming from people who don’t know how to karate dance because they don’t have the training, but it is not a compliment.
Normally, I don’t post videos of people doing something embarrassing that they have not uploaded themselves because the world was difficult enough as it was before everyone had to worry that someone was filming them with the intention of opening them up to the entire world for ridicule. But this video seemed to have an important message about Nerd Safety in it, so I thought I would post it as a cautionary tale. But I am definitely not posting it to laugh at this young man’s moves, which I think you will agree are sharp and fresh, and demonstrate an impressive level of martial arts training. He is the rolled up coupon circular of dancing. Look out! (Via Amil.)


































That looks like my dog! Hello Giovanni (we call him Gio).
I want to give this a thousand upvotes. I’ve never seen such serentiy as in this gif
it’s the “he hit him in the penis” kid… YES!
I think you mean “kicked him in the ding-ding!” No Winwood-o.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QTj5uT0Hrk
I’m so embarrassed. I got that kid confused with the beginning of Eddie Murphy’s Raw:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjwuDHJetyE
I KNOW THAT KID IS THE BEST AND THAT COMMERCIAL IS THE BEST THING EVER.
http://gifsoup.com/NDQxOTQ4
arrgh! my gif didn’t work and I’m not sure if it’s even funny enough to try again.
You avatar RULES
Your. me type pretty one day.
I think what this video really needs is more iris wipes.
FAKE! I’m fairly certain this was filmed last week in Williamsburg. The beard gives it away.
Patrick Stickles?
I think this guy has his shit lock-tite; We need to be watching out for him! (and his Pointy Elbows, and probably overgrown fingernails (come-on we’ve all seen nerds IRL))
Claws and Elbows – Like this Bony Guy –

Kinda crazy that this nerd turned out to be your favorite high school guitarist, Tim Mahoney from 311
Wow, I’m not sure I ever expected to see 311 referenced on Vgum, although I also never expected to hear the Offspring here either (or, ever again).
But yes, I did love 311 in high school.
So did I. I still think Music and Grassroots are decent albums.
Growing up in Atlanta, 311 was pretty much the biggest band of all time for the kids in my high school. I agree about Music/Grassroots — but I think the album that still gets the most play for me is Transistor.
I actually crack open Soundsystem every once and a while.
And Mahoney WAS one of my favorites, but both times (Warped Tour and with Jay-Z) I saw the band live something was wrong with his guitar rig and he played about one full song each time.
Grassroots was/is pretty great. Come forth from the closet, 311 fans!
I was tripping once while listening to 311. All I remember is “understanding” them so well. Don’t ask me what I understood because I have no idea. I really can’t even name you an album with confidence, but I “saw” 311 that day. Ha Ha. I think it had something to do with interpreting them this way: 311 is to the Midwest as Sublime is to Southern California. Later that night I went to a Rave with DJ Micro and Annabolic Frolic. It was a mess.
I mean, how ELSE is one supposed to dance to The Offspring?
I just assumed the Losers they were referencing WERE the Offspring
Reminds me of a class Moe taught
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hg_PBq9DPQY&feature=related
P.s I’m not very good at hyperlinking.
I’ve always been curious, how does the tucking your tee shirt into your jeans habit develop?
When you’ve got ass like our man here you can’t hide it under a thin layer of dangling cotton.
I think the gateway drug is buying the same polo neck shirt in a variety of neutral colours.
But what if you find one that is really comfy and it fits you just right and you need something to wear to work that you may not love but it will get you through the day without annoying you?
That was almost my exact response when I was told that weed is a gateway drug. *
*Just kidding potential corporate tech people monitoring my time-wasting skills, I don’t smoke weed before work.
It gives a person easier access to his/her fanny pack.
Okay, I think it’s late now, but this morning I tucked my shirt into my jeans, just to see what it felt like to do, and to walk through my life like that, but my housemate wouldn’t let me leave the house until I untucked it.
In my mind’s eye, this is how one dances to the offspring
I’m late to the game with this one.
Separately, his invisible opponent puts him on his back 2 too many times.
Seriously! He’s not even very good at fake martial arts. He’s getting his ass kicked.
Invisible Kreese is all, “Sweep the leg.”
If we could see the other guy, he would be wearing a motorcycle helmet.
This guy defines the expression “wouldn’t bust a grape in a fruit fight.”
Great(ish) minds…
Pretty Fly for a White Guy
I’m just worried about the interesting and complex back problems that snowflake is going to have someday.
Great one, jocks! We’re all paying for this guy’s surgery.
Less cinematic, but equally embarrassing, are the times he interrupts family dinners to explain the finer points of the Lego Bionicle saga to his grandma.
All I see is a touching tribute to Patrick Swayze’s shirtless Roadhouse tai chi.
That is all I can think about.
All the time.
/sigh
Man, I sure did have some moves, before I threw my back out putting my box of Star Wars toys in the attic. In hindsight I realize I probably should have taken the AT-AT up separately.
Is he my boyfriend?
We never dated. I liked you but I was too nervous to say hi because you were standing next to some football players.
Wait til you see Booger’s moves-he’s practicing right now down at the Tri-Lambs house!
Imagine my disappointment when I remembered I couldn’t thumbs-up this more than once.
I love how he throws his shirt down right before going into the Karate dance. Nerds ( I mean genuine borderline aspergers nerds) are the best. They do stuff like this and don’t even get drink ( he didn’t have one drink….because they don’t know how to order at a bar). Their social awkwardness is far beyond the reaches of anything alcohol can do to help.
Why do I not find this nerdy? Dammit modern hipness with your focus on irony, you’re screwing with my internal cool meter.
Whatever. I have way more respect for that guy than the 100 assholes who aren’t dancing.
The guy’s obviously just trying to get the party started.
Sorry this reply doesn’t have a gif in it.
I don’t need a gif! I just imagined your tiny bunny avatar doing a tiny jig and it was way better than any gif could be.
I got you:

It looks like he took the “dance like no one’s watching” cliche from every high-school graduation valedictorian speech to heart. It’s nice that someone got something from those. And I agree with Superglue – only losers don’t dance at dances.
I’m going to love him like I’ll never get hurt! Also, I think it goes without saying that this nerd should always wear sunscreen.
I was walking along the beach with my French pool boy, Marco, and came upon a beached nerd. The tide was low and he was left stranded to dry out in the sun. I picked him up and threw him back into the ocean. Marco said to me, “Why did you do zat?” I said, “Because I wanted to save his life.” Marco retorted, “But look around you. Zere are ‘undreds upon ‘undredz of zees nerds. You can’t possibly safe zem all. Zere are so many, you could not pozzibly make a difference.” I looked at Marco long and deeply and said, “I made a difference for that one. I made a difference for that one.” Marco wiped away a tear away from his perfectly cheek-boned face. The end.
I have questions about this video…where are they? are they at a school dance? is it a concert? why are they playing The Offspring? Why is the video edited? Were there dance moves that were less embarrassing? or were there dance moves that were more embarassing? If so, then why edit them? To spare us? Why was it only a couple of dudes dancing? Was everyone else too embarrassed? I need to go back to bed…
Whats even more confusing is that the You Tube comments look to be in German.
Those commenters are just people who are trying to throw Justin Bieber off of their scent.
James Spader is the best. You should just change your name from Julia Stepchild to James Spader and start making pervy(ish) comments.
Hey im a fully functioning nerd that has rhythm and can be social with any crowd, I dont need a cautionary tale. Or is that what every nerd thinks and really Im just a huge nerd getting laughed at?
I think Oprah calls these “epiphanies.” It’s her version of what James Joyce made famous, but originally called “Ah-ha moments”, in his short story “Eaters of the Dead.”
OK, I know I saw this, like, a year ago. Somewhere.
In fact, it is quite possible I had an unrequited crush on this guy in high school, as I was put on this earth to love the nerd/geek species.
AND he broke his knee last year dancing! Top that, bulldozer nerd!
But I know what you mean! I’m trying to seduce (just as nerdily) an organic bio major that looks EXACTLY like our Offspring dancer. … and I’m okay with that.
I find your photoshop skils delightfully nerdy. And if you are ever looking to try a physical chemist you know where to find me.
Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Swayze? Also, thank you! (:
he dances like mac from “it’s always sunny”, so why are we making fun of him, DANCE OFF BITCHES