Due to popular un-demand (un-demand?) we will not be recapping the second season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. And after watching last night’s premiere episode, I’m glad things went the way that they did. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I am still in love with Dina, and hope to make her my bride one day just as soon as I get these biceps implants and the Credit Union approves my loan to open a chain of Kosher Tanning Salons. We can give everyone matching DEAD EYES. But how big of a snooze is this show now? It’s 2010, guys. I don’t care about your feud with Danielle, which even a year ago was boring and based on stuff she did in the ’80s. Some of us have found a way to live in the present instead of constantly soaking in a hot tub time machine (now available for pre-order!). And apparently that is the ONLY DRAMA on the whole show? I would literally rather watch Dina’s two cats, Grandma Wrinkles and Ladybug, spreading rumors about each other at the pet groomer’s.
In any case, I did like this part from last night’s episode:
Haha. Aww. It reminds me of my favorite children’s story growing up: The Velveteen Oversized Princess Horse From Some Shitty Street Carnival. Feel free to caption it from the Real Husband of New Jersey’s point of view, OR from the beautiful magical horse’s point of view. OR FROM THE TRASH CAN’S POINT OF VIEW. The winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. Mama-mia that’s a spicy special placement!