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In the wake of the “Miracles” music video explosion, Insane Clown Violent J finally breaks his legendary silence to explain his thoughts on the song, and to address the haters. When you wrestle with the Violent J you get wet with hahaha.
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This week's five highest rated comments as voted on by you, the lowest rated comment as voted on by you, and the editor's choice.
'Sup, pogs!
Let's all go to the movies, and let's all see the same movie, and let's discuss it here.
Gabe loves fan fiction. You Can Make It Up features his own personal alternate adventures starring some of our favorite characters.
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
“It’s funny to people on the outside lookin’ in, seeing two clowns rapping about space and shit, while floatin’ around in an orgy of screen savers.”
I don’t think I could have said it better than my man Violent J
Explanations all Up in This Bitch!
I hate to miss out on any Juggalo related news, but my office internet filter blocked this!
“The site you requested is blocked under the following categories: Extreme”
Which, yes, it is, in every way imaginable.
Good God are you missing out. I will do my best to quote every amazing line of thought in the comments, for your enjoyment:
“Magnets were like magic to me as a kid. You could move things across the table without actually touching them! I found that shit amazing and I still do. If you don’t like that, have a dick for dinner.”
And in closing:
“We appreciate all this shit. Especially a yellow ass, long neck giraffe. What’s a shame is how people walk around blind to it all. They lost their spirit about everything. If you can’t even see the miracle in animals, then you must have never truly loved a pet. That has to suck for you. Maybe you mother fuckers should relax that wound up, extra tense bitch ass of yours for a minute and go smoke a joint or somethin’.
Be an individual, step out and away from the flow of the crowd. Take a time out, open up ya mind and then peep the giraffe. Try to appreciate some of these miracles, bitch.”
“peep the giraffe” is what he said.
For the record, I love giraffes. I’ve often sat, staring out at the horizon, and attempted to design in my mind’s eye a a wedge-shaped saddle with which I could attach and then ride a giraffe. But giraffes are miracles? No.
I also fed a giraffe a cracker with my mouth at the zoo. Basically it went like this-
Pardon me for asking, but—are you really a squirrel?
Alas, no.
There were plenty of pics of people getting “kisses” from a giraffe- but none of them really depicted what the giraffe did to me. It wrapped its lips around my whole face as its tongue snagged the cracker from my mouth.
So I felt this pic was better, as that squirrel’s whole head is getting a good tongue-lashing (HA!), and not just a sweet widdle kiss.
A dick for dinner again? But we had that last night. *pout*
“I could eat a knob at night”
-Sir Karl Pilkington
get some rice in belly and come round later
I love the eat a dick for dinner line, *someone* has clearly been paying attention to the Ice-T School of iceburns.
“Stop worrying about me and start worrying about your whack-ass music. In the mean-time, EAT A HOT BOWL OF DICKS!”
“Peep the Giraffe” is the new “Relax”
My avatar approves of the giraffe-related elements of this thread. Peep away, ninjas.
I’m not really hungry for dick cause I had a whole clown at breakfast.
What is the vegan alternative for a hot bowl of dicks?
Tofu Pups
THANK YOU!!!!!!
Hatchet Herald?
Now they are just effing with us.
I wonder; which candidate did the Hatched Herald endorse on the past presidential election?
bush
When it said “continued on page 2,” I was like “…wut” and frantically clicked everywhere. Effing with us in more ways than one, apparently!
Best comeback ever: “If you don’t like that, have a dick for dinner”. Hey Violent J, when are you free, I make an awesome tuna risotto.
P.S. Snap!
I kind of love it: “As for the infamous line, “fuckin’ magnets… how do they work?” Magnets were like magic to me as a kid. You could move things across the table without actually touching them! I found that shit amazing and I still do. If you don’t like that, have a dick for dinner. “
The one thing for sure is I know I now need more Hatchetman paraphenalia.
It always kind of bugged me that the “Hatchetman” wields a cleaver.
“The Websters dictionary defines miracles as an effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause.” –opening paragraph from the editor of the Hachet Herald’s senior English paper
“a miracle is like when god makes the impossible possible” – Vincent Vega
Obviously ICP hasn’t seen Pulp Fiction
Right, I love how the first sentence is basically: “Fucking dictionaries, how do they work?”
To sum up: If you believe in science or reason or even reality and decide not to grasp onto a child-like understanding of life, you are a neden hole and a hater and ICP doesn’t want to hear your stuck-up bullshit.
I knew they considered themselves and their whole “Dark Carnival” to be an analogue of God and Christianity or whatever but I didn’t realize they were doing such a good job.
Well to be fair, Emerson famously wrote:
“To speak truly, few adult persons can see nature. Most persons do not see the sun. At least they have a very superficial seeing. The sun illuminates only the eye of the man, but shines into the eye and heart of the child. The lover of nature is he whose inward and outward senses are still truly adjusted to each other; who has retained the spirit of infancy even into the era of manhood. If you don’t like that, have a dick for dinner.”
If any other monsters would like to join the Jugglao Social Networking site (yes, I’m deadly serious), like a bunch of us did last Friday, the address is http://hatchetspace.net/
Be warned though, the layout is a NIGHTMARE and it takes a while to sign up!! But it’s worth it to hang out with my fellow gummalos, amirite my ninjas?!
Web design!… how does that work?
= DS THA WIKID SHIT on hatchetspace.net.
Look me up!
Upvoted for coining the term “gummalos.”
On the real friends: At what point do we ourselves just become Juggalos?
Science! true daughter of Old Time thou art!
Who alterest all things with thy peering eyes.
Why preyest thou thus upon the poet’s heart,
Vulture, whose wings are dull realities?
How should he love thee? or how deem thee wise?
Who wouldst not leave him in his wandering
To seek for treasure in the jewelled skies,
Albeit he soared with an undaunted wing?
Hast thou not dragged Diana from her car?
And driven the Hamadryad from the wood
To seek a shelter in some happier star?
Hast thou not torn the Naiad from her flood,
The Elfin from the green grass, and from me
The summer dream beneath the tamarind tree?
–Edgar Alan Poe’s “Sonnet to Science,” channeling Violent J
Science! ……how dost thou work?!
dammit REFRESH, Face King, REFRESH
It’s all good Face King, your one was better and took more effort!
An upvote, it is yours!
The part about dragging a chick from her car is ESPECIALLY relevant to ICP. Also this quatrain, which appeared in an earlier draft:
Those miracles that do mankind surround,
If we survey them, surely should astound:
The elements of air, fire, water, earth,
And fucking magnets, yea, how do they work?
Yes, most of the miracles we mention can easily be explained away by science, that’s why we say the line “fuck scientists.”
Word to the wise: any time anyone brings irrefutable proof against something you support, just say “fuck ________” and their argument is now moot. This is airtight and will work every time. I look forward to seeing this method used in court and on CSPAN in the near future.
The scientists especially appreciate the “easily” modifier. They’re so smart they can just look at things and explain them! The Large Hadron Collider is really just for show.
I would give away all my money and possessions to see a video of an LHC scientist give ICP a tour of the LHC facilities and describe to them how it works.
I would love to see this, too.
You watch CSPAN?
On the reg!
I used this in Court just this morning. “Fuck the Statute of Frauds. We got signatures of the party to be charged all up in this bitch and if you don’t believe me, peep this giraffe.”
“We feel like these haters are the big dumb, popular jocks ganging up on the little class clown scrub.”
I don’t know what’s ickier, a 37-year old man in clown makeup acting as if high school metaphors relate to him in any way, or the fact that he seems to genuinely believe that the people mocking him all over the internet are actually “big dumb, popular jocks”.
Say what you will, these guys know their market…
I for one am excited to finally be considered as one of the big dumb jocks. As opposed to just big and dumb.
I was more excited about finally being popular. Thanks, Violent J!
I’m more amazed by the next sentence where he claims to be a “highly skilled, deadly, ninja assassin capable of cleaning their fuckin’ clocks.”
What the fuck is a clock?
I believe that is known as Snacky’s Law (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Snacky%27s%20Law)!
none of this explains why a pelican tried to eat his cellphone :-{
Can your fancy “scientists” explain that?
I used to think the Northern Lights were just reflections from the movies God was projecting onto the polar ice cap for His viewing pleasure, but now I know that it’s just some dumb, natural shit. Thanks for ruining my child-like sense of wonder, SCIENCE.
I know, because for some reason some people can’t understand that just because you explain something that’s beautiful, doesn’t take away its beauty. In fact, for me, and Carl Sagan, it makes everything even more awe-inspiring.
And I love how he defends not wanting things like crop circles to be explained because he likes using his “imagination” and by “imagination” he means : “believing it was aliens or something”.
WHAT AN IMAGINATION.
I also can’t get to the website, but from the comments quotes, I appreciate Violent J’s stance that reason is not any more of an effective way to describe or interact with the Universe than instinct. For instance, my reasoning mind tells me: “hmmm, there’s probably not much nutrition in this dick, and how are you even going to prepare it?” But my instinct says: “eat up!”
FYI:
how do you post images, i have a good one, i promise
All of this Insane Clown ret-con is fine and dandy, but it bears mentioning that these guys, who have always included “one or two deep, meaningful songs” on their albums, routinely did so between tracks entitled “I Stuck Her With My Wang” and “Beverly Kills 90210″.
Yet Darwin cannot even begin to explain ICP. They are well and truly outside of the reach of science.
[IMG]http://i43.tinypic.com/9rrpdi.jpg[/IMG]
I MISSED THE EMAIL EXPLAINING HOW TO POST IMAGES IN YOUR WACKY WEBSITE. I give up
You do not post the IMG tags, just the html link. For example, I took off your tags, copied and pasted the link and voila:
HTML, how does it work?
“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man, I put on clown makeup.”
-God, The Bible
“If you can’t even see the miracle in animals, then you must have never truly loved a pet. ”
new peta campaign courtesy of icp?
Did anyone watch “You Don’t Know Jack” on HBO this weekend? I think there were a few scenes where the good Doctor Kevorkian (& Susan Sarandon!) sipped on a Faygo. Can anyone confirm?
Because really, wouldn’t Kevorkian be a Juggalo icon?
violent j iz miracllllzz!