Photos
OK, so, admittedly, I saw the Beastly trailer a few days ago, and I have been wanting to post it ever since but I haven’t gotten around to it because I have been LAUGHING TOO HARD. Now it is your turn! Beastly trailer, you guys:
Oh no, that poor jerk! I sure hope that he falls in love and becomes beautiful again at the end but with more compassion towards other people and a focus on what’s on the inside rather than what is on the outside! Just kidding, I literally don’t care what happens to him at all. I hope he gets UGLIER!
Although, let’s be honest, he’s not really that ugly? His curse is to be super-ripped and have interesting tattoos? I guess the nose staples are a little weird, but lots of kids in high school experiment with unfortunate body modifications. And also, uh, Vanessa Hudgens wouldn’t date him? Sorry. Sorry make-believe asshole cursed by a billionaire teenage shopping mall witch. They really should have done a better job with the casting if they wanted us to believe that some stupid jerk we have no reason to care about finds someone to love him for who he is (which is still basically a jerk, right? But just an ugly jerk now?) than Zac Efron’s girlfriend. In real life she would be like, “ew, my bodyguard is going to murder you.” And then her bodyguard would murder him.
Speaking of terrible movie trailers of terrible looking movies intended for misguided teenagers: new Twilight: Eclipse trailer in your pants. Here’s an open letter to teenagers: Dear teenagers, like better stuff! Sincerely, adults.
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This film has Mary-Kate Olsen as a witch that can turn people into Nero from the Star Trek film?
“MAN that was an awesome April 20th”
~ Whoever came up with this shit
Between this and the Smurfs Neil is making it hard to declare him the next Videogum Promise recipient
Well if anyone was going to play the sassy Candelabra it was totally NPH.
AGREED!!!
Joe Mande needs watch this movie on The Team’s behalf and then present us with a collection of the NPH clips.
I’ll take my smarts award now.
I literally only watched this because of NPH. Like, I scrolled through and saw it was tagged “Neil Patrick Harris” and scrolled back up to play it. In unrelated news, I am going to Improbable Jail.
Powder meets Rocky Dennis and they have a kid = basically this movie
Mary-Kate Olsen pays a visit to Gwyneth Paltrow:
“Let’s just say I’m substance over style.”
That is hilarious.
Substance over style? PAH! I say Substance IS Style. Sisley, bitches.
but maybe not:
Cocaine is one hell of a drug.
She’s pretty.
She’s no Freddie Prinze Jr.
Is that Twelve? Or cokecstasy?
Beastlight
“I heard you were very into roses! I’m gonna build you a greenhouse!”
- Megan Fox admirer
Hatchet Space shoutout at 1:18 hollaaaa
Me about Vanessa Hudgens:
“Meh, I’ve seen worse.”
Also, NPH as blind guy? Was he blind when he read the script?
Ah nice! I checked my Digi-Dex after I looked up this trailer! I didn’t know he had a second stage evolution cus I thought he was a rare Digimon (pokemon? (sp)).
GO PALE-MAN! Sit! Wait! Eat!
Arabic script tattoos for eyebrows? So menacing!
making tweens daymare everywhere
If you squint, it kinda looks like the Arabic script tattoos say “twilight sucks”
thanks for pointing out the eyebrows, seems to be a direct attack on amanda palmer, right? (sure.)
“Oh poor me, I’m very handsome with some bad-ass scars and some awesome tattoos. Surely no one will ever love me”.
As though 1 million goth 15-year-olds haven’t already made him their desktop wallpaper.
“It’s great to see you bringing your peacocking to the next level.”
I like how the nose staple is a clip on and probably falls off when he jumps up and down.
Spoiler Alert:
This movie is going to be featured in The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time
While looking for this pile of garbage on IMDB I accidentally typed ‘Bestly.’ That is so not what this is! It is Worstly!
I don’t know… the friendly black optimistic advice (1:54) could push this film for an Oscar.
Here is the only way possible to make this a good movie. They score the climactic falling in love scene with this popular classic by my old colleague Peter Cetera:
Next time I fall
In Loooooove
Oooh-ah-oooh-ah-OOH!
The next time I fall
In Looooove
The next time I fall in love
It could be with yooooooou
Vampires, Werewolves, that thing! What these kids need is realistic, relatable, romantic movies. C’mon Hollywood, where’s:
“Text-less in Seattle”?
“When Harry Twittered Sally”?
“You’ve Got Poked?”
Did you make these up yourself or steal them from Mad Magazine and or Cracked Magazine?
And I kid because I’m jealous. Those are funny.
Wow, thanks Uncle Winwood. I made them up, but I made them up with love for you and my fellow monsters.
well, now i know where to go this summer to get my fill of mediocre, soaring, emo-lite anthems.
Weird thing is Mary Kate Olsen looks more like the Beast from Beauty and the Beast than anyone else in this thing.
he should look for love with one of these poor girls. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bheJqbeQh78#t=5m20s
Uh oh. I hope “bald with facial scars” for dudes isn’t the new “hair up with glasses” for girls in crappy “beauty is on the inside” movies.
I mostly say this as a bald man with a propensity for being clumsy, which may or may not lead to jagged facial scars at some point.
Oh no! My hair is up and I’ve got glasses on. I bet when I get home, my boyfriend will realize I’m ugly and dump me.
I like how the goal is to realize it’s only inner beauty that matters — so he spends a year chasing a conventionally cute girl.
Where’s the girl with facial scars? With burn tissue on 90% of her body? Her obese body? Especially in the batwings area and perineum etc.? But she has a GREAT sense of humor? And volunteers at the animal shelter, probably. Movie, make us fall in love with that girl!
Teach me well, Movie. I’m going to cherish you my whole life.
The Mary-Kate from verymarykate.com is so much better than the real Mary-Kate. Probably. (Definitely.)
No wait…NEIL PATRICK HARRIS? I need to see this film or i might DIE of anticipation! LOLZZZ
This is just a misleading title. It just sounds like a documentary about bestiality.
Your avatar hasn’t got time for this Mickey Mouse bullshit. Upvoted!
Tattoo’s can be removed if you are rich an have a lot of money…pussy.
I really hope that is NPH throwing up because of how cheesy that line was and not just a cut made for the trailer, it just fit all to conveniently.
Also….Death Cab recording a song just for New Moon was bad enough, but now to have let an kind of older song get used in this masterpiece…
I love what a completely insane prick he is at the start of this.
She should have given him constant putrescent flatulence. Try rich and handsoming your way out of that. Let alone, learning the ‘what’s on the inside that counts’ inspirational drivel…
Michel Gondry to direct.
Can the Olsen girl turn me into to Beastly for having watched that crap? i mean, BLEEEEEECCCCCCCCK!
But it’s (Disney’s) Beauty and the Beast for a new millennium! (I know we’ve made many references but that is the reference).
And also Neil Patrick Harris!
I charge Joe Mande Take One For The Team and watch this and edit together all the NPH parts for Videogum.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CjyhubgNTc
One aspect that could major improve this movie.