Guys: I am taking a long weekend starting tonight. We should all be so lucky as to find something in this weekend that is long, is what she said. The point is, there won’t be any new posts until Tuesday. The good news, though, is that the 2010 season of the Videogum Movie Club starts this weekend with Kick Ass. Let’s all go see it and meet back here Tuesday morning to talk about it! Hopefully, there will also be a new Videogum Mascot starting next week. It’s an exciting time. The email for the police is next to the iFridge. Don’t firesale this place to the ground, please.
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YIPPEE-KAY AYE!
Seriously though, take a break! You deserve it. Have fun. Definitely going to watch Kick-ass. FWIW, guys, Friday chat is Thursday today! http://videogum.com/chat/ I’m in there now.
That was my reaction, exactly.
“WHAT?? NOOOOO! Gabe, you sit around writing funny stuff about goats on trampolines and TV shows no one cares about in your underwear for a living!! ISN’T YOUR LIFE VACATION ENOUGH?”*
*Frealgum, Gabe works hard at being funny and deserves some time off but that still doesn’t change the fact that my life is over until Tuesday.
I would like to formally announce that I am throwing my hat in the ring to be the new Videogum Mascot.

I’ll put the DIE back in vIDEogum or whatever.
Oh wow, you are handsome.
Wait that’s not makeup is it?
I may have dabbed a little bronzer on that night, I was looking a little pale before I went out.
I like a guy who really enjoys food. Keep “living” “life”!
Is Gabe Getting a puppy? Are we getting a Chimera Mascot of Topher Grace, Baby Monster (from MB) and Cute Puppy?
Is it tuesday yet?
I get it. Gabe’s going undercover to get Kristen Schaal and Kurt Braunohler back. God speed, Gabe. Us Monsters are here if you need us!
Good time to admit that I’ve accidentally seen Live Free or Die Hard about 10 times on FX.
It also accidentally found its way to my DVR.
oh god i hope its a puppy. i hope its twenty puppies. twenty puppies who are all riding a pony. also the puppies can talk. and fly!
and the pony is actually Topher Grace in a pony costume, and he compliments us all on our looks and charm
and also im there and i look beautiful and everyone loves me forever
I Googled “Gabe’s special surprise” and, after 8 pages of porn, this is what came up.
We are going to throw such a raging party around here this weekend. Now that my baby taxes are paid, I’m gonna eat cake until I explode!

Taxes are due today?

Fidel Castro doesn’t pay taxes. That’s the joke right? Communism?
Wait, my Tea Party leader assured me that comnists pay the mostest taxes. Anyways, that’s not Fidel Castro, I think it’s just some guy who models for t-shirts.
I like to imagine an alternate universe where Fidel Castro works as an American Apparel model.
Also, are we positive it’s not castro? Because that really looks like Castro, and I know he really enjoys his ham and cheese sandwhiches… and pinstriped body suits.
No, really it’s the T-shirt guy. You are probably confused because Castro is into ROAST BEEF sandwiches, not ham and cheese. See;
(the following is the opinion of suburban dictionary and does not necessarily reflect the opinions of Mr Chris Thrash)
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fidel%20castro%20eating%20a%20roast%20beef%20sandwich
I tried to do a Google search to find out who the shirt guy was but it requires reading and stuff so I’ll just assume he sold all those shirts because he looks cool in that one picture.
Now, that I think about it anyone can look cool if they stand like that. let me try the same pose with my cat Chetos:

I think it may work. Who wants a t-shirt?
Are you saying Arby’s is for commies?
I think we all know the answer to that

There was a Tea Party rally on campus at my school today. I walked up to the podium to make my speech, here’s the transcript:
“Yeah! Taxes are a completely unreasonable feature of every functioning modern government that provides for it’s citizens! They should be abolished and replaced with reverse taxes in which the poor just give their money directly to feudal lords which own the local Wal-Mart who in turn promise to protect them from roaming hordes of zombies that patrol the No Man’s Land released by Obama’s secret reanimation panels headed by Dr. Barney Frankenstein! And those forms! They’re so tough to figure out, I mean, who has time to add up all those numbers?!?! I know I don’t! Obama is actually the Antichrist, look at this numerology to prove it!” and then I turned around and ran away.
But seriously, there really was a rally, and my friends and I just drove by screaming “Boo taxes!” and “Where’s the birth certificate?!” We’re mature.
I was pleased Natalie Dee finally took on the Tea Baggers. At least instead of getting rage headaches when I hear about their shenanigans I can think about this comic and smile.
I see a monster meltdown in the near future.
Have a nice vacation Gabe… I heard the North Side of Metropolitan Avenue is beautiful this time of year.
I’ma Be at C2E2, potentially meeting the Kick-Asser’s (ass-Kickers?)
Any Monsters wanna say what up, Tweet Me.
Enjoy your weekend Gabe, You deserve it!
So NO One is willing to Admit that
if they saw me and shook my hand and
ended up going on an amazing journey thru mushroomland,
you would have a good time?
Fine, I’m shroomin in a comic book festival by myself.
Gabe, I’m sending Steve Winwood to your mansion (???)
Monster Party while Gabe’s gone! Does anyone know how to find Rebecca De Mornay?
Ask these guys:
I wondered where I put my freakish glowing green eyeballs. Thanks!
Oh, that’s fine.. I’ll just have to hang out with some of my other friends that are blogs. I have lots of them of course. Everyday there is a new blog trying to be friends with me, so don’t act like you are so important in my life or anything.
… I have lots of blogs…
…
So. Um. Anyone know any good blogs I could visit this weekend?
You can probably crash on Warming Glow’s couch, but it kinda smells funny.
Wow, no Videogum tomorrow may mean I get bored enough to do actual work at work. Productivitygum!
Don’t talk like that!
Touchet. I’ll probably just start commenting on posts from 2008.
Oh wait no, it’s touche isn’t it? Eff. I went to high school with a guy whose last name was Touchet, and everyone called him Touch-It. I get confused now.
“Ha Ha, you spelled something wrong! LOL” – Steve Winwood, right guys?
garbage_face, making Steve Winwood references is not your commenter meme, etc.
I thought you were talking about this:

That’s why I always just say “Goulet” in place of touché.
One thing I know is that I am certainly not mature enough to go to school with someone whose last name is pronounced “Touch-It.” I’m pretty sure I would go into “thatswhatshesaid” overload and spontaneously combust.
I will totally be saying Touch-It instead of Touche from now on. Thanks, Lazy Magnolia!
Stupid Productivitygum! This had to happen on a day when my cell phone broke and I have no mobile internet access. Videogum’s one of the few sites my work hasn’t figured out they should block! With that on hold until Tuesday, what am I supposed to do?
Guess my temporary answer is to read NotAlwaysRight.com and laugh at stories of stupid customers. Sigh. It’s not the same.
Kick Ass is great you guys. Gooooo see it.
“I’m special.” -you
is it?? Ebert hated it:
http://twitter.com/ebertchicago/status/12227873752
I don’t think I’ll go…but I’ll read the recap! wooT!
Its the very first time I’ve disagreed with Roger Ebert on a movie. I’m even willing to bet that down the line he has a change of heart about it. It seemed less like a review about the merits of the movie and more postulating about the moral implications of the movie and what its influence might be on children.
Oh, neat. Mr. Cool Friends meets a few Juggalos and all of a sudden he’s too good for the Monsters.
I know, right? Don’t forget your roots, Gabe! Did we learn NOTHING from the countless movies in which a band/band member/athlete/underage baseball manager get a little too big for his/her britches?
Just kidding, Gabe! Enjoy your break. You’ve earned it!
I don’t know what to do because our Dean Emeritus Roger Ebert, Esq. was not a fan of Kick-Ass. AT ALL.
http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100414/REVIEWS/100419986/1023
Yeah, and I understand his points, but I’m not sure he gets the purpose of Kick-Ass, but it’s totally a satire of comic books. Of course, I’m a lifetime reader of comic books, but it is perfectly understandable to ask whether a kid who sneaks in to see the movie would understand that.
A commenter on another blog (I think Jezebel) drew parallels between Hit Girl and Robin, who was equally young and fought villains (less violently, sure, but there was still violence, though most of it implied). He wasn’t female and Bruce Wayne wasn’t his father (though he was certainly a father figure), but there are still parallels.
I’m not exactly sure where I’m going with this other than I think Ebert’s reasons for disliking Kick-Ass were legitimate, but I disagree.
Woah, another monster reads Jezebel? I go there for the Women Studies major part of me and io9 for the inner geek.
I hateread Jezebel (sometimes) and I love io9. Whoo, Gawker.
yes and io9 too!
Is it really a “satire” of comic books? I’ve not seen the movie yet, but the comic book source material doesn’t strike me as particularly satirical. They seem rather like Mark Milar doing what he’s always done: grotesque hyper-violence and naughty language. (He does other things, granted, but between this and Wanted…) Anyway, satirizing comic books by turning their typical violence up to 11 seems a pretty lazy way to make a….point?
I now accept your hurled tomatoes.
That has to be the worst Roger Ebert review I’ve ever read. He writes that the characters are seriously dead. No they’re not, Roger, they are actors and this movie is make believe, you fucking idiot.
When he talks about how this movie isn’t funny because people shoot each other in real life, that is egregiously unfair. How many violent westerns, or comedies or any other movies has he validated with approval?
His review of Zoolander, which came out right after 9/11, was similarly unfair, as he said that the reason why people in the third world hate us is because of the politically incorrect humor on display in zoolander where they are trying to preserve child labor or something. Roger Ebert is the worst!
So, I just got into this and NOW you are leaving? What are we supposed to do ’till then? Talk among ourselves?
I have tomorrow off too! We can enjoy our long weekends together…apart.
Vacationgum!
I like to imagine Gabe having Griswold-like adventures. If only I had quick access to a gif of them driving in circles in France.
Rad, I saw Kick Ass already last week at a preview screening party and enjoyed it quite a bit. Spoiler alert, it is ultra violent, unexpectedly so based on the goofy commercials. Do not take children to see this
Does that mean Notsewfast can’t go?
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
HI STEVE WINWOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m sorry, I’ve been drinking.
Wow, is it Juggalo Gathering 2010 already? That snuck up on me this year. See you on the hayride Gabe!
Kenny Powers is gonna be soooo pissed if it’s not the dog in sneakers.
The new mascot has to be an animal. If it’s not going to be the dog in sneakers then I pray to God that it is not Joe Mande.
I just made pesto with fresh garden herbs! You are all invited to my house! We can make mojitos with the mint that grows near the kitchen window. Even the dogs have taken a break from constant stranger-danger patrol to sun themselves in the backyard! Except for the being-alone part, right now is perfect.
Yea!! I will bring over my fresh, homemade portobello raviolis and drink what ever you have ‘cos I am thirsty! What a good host (hostess?) you are!
OK AWESOME. And I am an all right hostess, in fact!
The mustache threw me off… I am an equal opportunity pesto eater, although the dogs give me pause…
That is not a mustache! That is grown-up Eliot Spitzer’s frowny muppet-face mouth. It is how genius artist Lauri Apple envisions Eliot Spitzer might’ve looked as a baby.
Iz u rly a skrl?
So Topher’s not our mascot?
don’t get me wrong a day off is a beautiful thing
but i gotta comment at least once a day DAMN!
Can somebody (werttrew) point me to where this joke began? It seems to be the only one that’s slipped under my radar, but I see variations on it every day. Thanks!
http://videogum.com/162101/erykah-badu-is-the-magic-bullet/music-related-content/
I definitely need to add it to the injoke list.
Ah, and now what was tried, true and comfortable becomes fresh and new all over again. I had forgot!
No Monster’s Ball this week?
Oh well.
Tony don’t you see? You’ve won the Monster’s Ball already! In our hearts.
Don’t worry, Tony! You’re still the ____ of the ____!
I just went to upvote you on that comment just to make you feel wor….better, to make you feel better.
NO kidding! i worked really (not really) hard to get lowest voted comment. I’m never going to e-get my egot now!
Shut the fuck up, Rita Moreno.
Werttrew has your back, unofficially
I’ve decided to use this time off productively, what now, so I kinda captured a squirrel, now to find a trampoline-then I will get on videogum just yet muahahaha
huh?
“I am taking a long weekend starting tonight. We should all be so lucky as to find something in this weekend that is long, is what she said.”
Sometimes Gabe deserves upvotes too. This is one of those times.
Your avatar is so meta. I am sure I’m using that word correctly and I’m doubly sure that no one’s used it before.
Regardless, if Gabe wanted upvotes for whatever reason, I don’t think he’d have a problem. He could post “farts” in the comment section and get at least +42.
Full disclosure: I’d be #13. Because farts are funny.
Well, I’m drunk and that comment is proof. Goodnight and good luck, monsters.

All I can say is, thank goodness for Rich FourFour’s ANTM recaps on Mondays. That’s right! I said it! I’m seeing other blogs now!
Get Gabe to the Greek!
Let the early weekend animal parade commence..
Ohh! I know how to play now. You guys love cute animals and middle aged men, so here:

Am I doing this right?
videogum everywhere! be my friend! this friday is going to suck…
Oh! I forgot to type up what this is.
This is a movie poster I’ve made based on what I believe Gabe is really doing on his 4-day “vacation.“
I’ve got 2 words for Gabe: Gillette Fusion. I have not seen 1 picture of him clean shaven. If his mom ever peeks in here I think that would be a nice stocking stuffer for next Christmas.
Is he heading to Mexico?
HOW DOES THIS NOT HAVE ALL THE UPVOTES?!?!?
did someone say fire sale?
Gabe, I bet you’re going to Coachella. If I see you, I’ll say “hi!” Then, I’ll ask if you have an extra ticket because it seems I’m not so good at planning and booked a flight without a ticket to the show. I’ll be the guy that looks like Joey Lawrence (more or less.)
What a coincidence! I also happened to buy a plane ticket to Coachella, without first buying a ticket to the show! Well Isn’t that crazy, guys?

Is it weird that I find these puppy fetuses really hilarious? You’re just taking it the next logical step chris trash.
There’s one photo you’re missing, but I’m at work and just can’t bring myself to Google image search “bulldogs humping.” (I already searched for “aroused male frog” a few days ago.)
Luckily my boss doesn’t know what’s going on half the time. Anyways, the following Gif is best viewed by listening to Enigma’s “Return to Innocence”.
But it would be helpful if I included the link, sorry.

Oh hey. I don’t know if anyones looking in the posts anymore but if you do, help me out!
So I was in videogum.com/chat and someone gave me OP abilities. I wanted to see what would happen if I banned myself. It worked. So if any of you cool cats could read this:
http://wiki.mibbit.com/index.php/Unban
and go in chat and unban me please.
Thanks!
I wanted to be a policeman so bad when I was little. And wouldn’t you know, my first day on the job I accidentally arrested myself for armed robbery and spent the next 4 years in prison.
tried emailing the irc people to help me and I got this awesome email back:
“Sir, we are your client, we are not your irc server. Regardless, try both of these links.”
SIR!
Anyways don’t worry about it, I used a proxy to get back in then unbanned myself.