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As we all know, Terrence Howard is a lunatic. Sure, he has good reminders (GREAT reminders), but those are overshadowed by his complaints that women are unclean, and cetra. But over the weekend, Nicolas Cage did an interview at Wondercon (whatever THAT is) about acting and the Sorcerer’s Apprentice (Via io9.), and it turns out that he is also a lunatic. And since no one knows where Terrence Howard is anymore, Nicolas Cage is the new Terrence Howard. If you can tear your eyes away from whatever is going on with Nicolas Cage’s head in that picture, listen to this mad man:
At today’s Sorcerer’s Apprentice press conference, someone asked Cage how he chooses whether to go way over the top (like in Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call, New Orleans) or hold back (like in Adaptation.) And he responded:
Thank you for noticing, because first of all, it’s difficult to talk about the work, right? Because when you talk about the work, it’s kind of stupid because the work speaks for itself. I don’t want to name it, because when you name it, if you name it then it loses its mystery. If I tell you exactly what I was thinking, or what I was up to – and I have been guilty of that – then you lose your secret connection with the work of art. And I digress, but I went on Dick Cavett many years ago and met Miles Davis. And I was talking about things like art synthesis and Picasso and you can do with acting what he did, or with music, and Miles came out and he got it, you know, he was looking at me, he gave me this, like – he nodded and he winked at me. Miles Davis, you know. And we were sharing the trumpet. And ever since then, because he accepted whatever my philosophy was, I believe that I wanted to approach acting as jazz. And so he became like a surrealist father of sorts, along with Walt Disney. And I thought, “Okay. Well, this time, I’m going to just let anything come out, whatever it may be. Like Bad Lieutenant, you know. But sometimes, it’s really thought out and constructed and carefully thought out, like Adaptation. So I always like to mix it up.
Acting is jazz! Sometimes he acts in one movie, but other times he acts in another movie! But to talk about it would ruin the magic of both movies! Miles Davis, you know. I believe the subtext here is, “Thank you for noticing, because first of all, I have no idea what I’m doing.”
Oh, hold on, it gets more bonkers:
Cage also talked about his crazy hair in Sorcerer’s Apprentice, and said that he comes from the “Lon Chaney, Sr. School Of Acting.” He added:
I want to transform myself every time i get. I’ll wear wigs. I’ll wear nose pieces. I’ll wear green contact lenses in my eyes. I’ll do whatever I need to do to create a character. That’s what it’s about. That’s the fun of it, you know. So I wanted Balthazar to have a look, like – well, Jerry [Bruckheimer] says like an ancient rock star, you know. He has that kind of cool style that harkens back to the 500s or the 600s, which is where he came from, and Merlin was his teacher. He goes through different ages, and he really starts to look like an ancient magician. When we meet him in New York City. You know, I’m always changing the [hair] color, and right now I’m doing a movie called Drive Angry and I’m trying to tap into my Celtic roots, so I dyed it blond.
Nicolas Cage will do whatever it takes to create a character. HE WILL EVEN WEAR GREEN CONTACT LENSES IN HIS EYES. Very method. Very acting. Right now he is doing a movie called Drive Angry and he is trying to tap into his yikes roots.
And he explained Jerry Bruckheimer’s formula for successful movies:
One time years ago [Jerry Bruckheimer] was talking to me about algebra, about algebraic equations. And how he’s always looking for the X factor or the Y factor in the formula. And I think one of the reasons why he has this genius ability to make these movies so successful is that he looks for actors who provide alternative ways of delivering dialogue, alternative contributions that give that X factor or that Y factor, he puts it in a formula that appeals to a lot of people all over the world, and that’s fun, you know.
Uh, what? Jerry Bruckheimer is good at algebra, and the reason people like his movies is because of math? I’m not an idiot, I understand what this anecdote is supposed to convey about Jerry Bruckheimer’s ability to tap into audience’s pleasure centers. But Nicolas Cage is an idiot, and I don’t think he understands what this anecdote is supposed to convey at all. I think he really thinks that Jerry Bruckheimer is a math wiz.
2+2 = movies!
But this part is probably my favorite:
Cage also said that he came up with the original idea for the movie: “When I came with this idea, I was on Next. I was talking to Tom Garner, who was also the producer. I said, ‘I want to play a magician. You know, I want to play like a sorcerer.’ And he came back and said, ‘I got it. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.’”
NICOLAS CAGE CAME UP WITH THE ORIGINAL IDEA FOR THE SORCERER’S APPRENTICE?! Goooood coming up with stuff! First of all, no. No he didn’t. Second of all, Nicolas Cage still has some work to do before he truly takes over Terrence Howard’s Crazy Throne up in Bananas Castle, but you have to admit that he is WELL ON HIS WAY. Third of all, what I wouldn’t give to be the guy that Nicolas Cage comes up to on a movie set and says “I want to play a magician. You know, I want to play like a sorcerer.” I would trade in my Zune AND my Tamagotchi. You could have my Animaniacs slammer! (Thanks for the tip, Mike.)
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More like Nicolas Cage is the new 1990s era Michael Bolton. The balding/long blonde hair look is hard to pull off. Well done, Mr. Cage.
“Sharing the trumpet” will now be my new go-to response to “What the hell are you doing?” Which sadly gets asked of me more often than it should. But now, I have a new explanation: “JAZZ. I’m doing jazz.”
I shared the trumpet once with a Polish prostitute in Brussels. It was awesome.
When I first read it, I wanted it to be used like “Keep Fuckin’ that Chicken”. You keep sharing that trumpet, Nic Cage.
x * y = z
In this equation, there are two variables, with one unknown result. Here, Nicky (we have been running into a lot of Nickys lately) is clearly slating himself as x. Y is unknown, and z is the film. Is he trying to make y the scapegoat? Clever duck. When in doubt, blame y.
Also, Jerry B. as the Mad Mathematician would make Cage The Mathematician’s Apprentice (he came up with that himself).
That Pogs article is potentially the most hilarious Wikipedia article I’ve ever read.
I hate chopped feeds, but you always know where to cut to make it impossible not to read on! Like nick and miles, youre doing JAZZ!!!
Fortunately thanks to a million monkeys at a million typewriters Nicolas Cage can just say he wants to be in any kind of movie at all and that script will be handed to him the next day. He can be all, “In my next movie I want to be transvestite ecologist, you know to get in touch with my transvestite ecologist roots,” and then his agent will point the phone away from his mouth as he lets out a heavy existential sigh and then say, “sure, transvestite ecologist, you’re a genius,” and then next thing Variety says CAGE SLATED TO STAR IN ‘THE GREEN TRANNY DIARIES dasjlÑ€ÑкВ” and that’s how movies get made.
Bonus: if he takes the transvestite ecologist role, he won’t have to change his hair again. Zing!
FACT: Nicolas Cage can divide by zero.
FACT: Bears eat beets.
Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica
Michael!
Stop! This thread is making me nostalgic for The Office of yore (which coincidentally is the working title of my metal concept album).
At first I confused Terrence Howard in my noggin with Clint Howard, so I got super excited that I was being linked to some super secret, magical Clint Howard-related Videogum posts. What I’m trying to say is, Clint Howard is awesome.
But Gabe, if Nicholas Cage is so method he will put contacts into his eyes, how do we know he hasn’t been Terrence Howard all along?!
ax^2+bx+c = 0
Acting(Nicholas Cage^2) + Being Retarded(Nicholas Cage) + Crazy = Awful.
Art:
I thought by “Next” he meant “America’s Next Top Model” because Nic Cage likes to use abbreviations.
I thought by NEXT he meant that dating show.
NEXTed right as he stepped off the bus… Ladies just don’t appreciate pointy shoes like the used to.
“Ain’t got no kids, ain’t got no STD’s, ain’t getting NEXTed.” -Nic Cage
“I’ve been inside all the greats; Charlie Parker, Miles Davis – I’ve even been inside Nicolas Cage… though that was an accident.”
The Spirit of Jazz
This post just would not have been complete without the Spirit of Jazz. Thank you for that.
Let’s be honest here. I shouldn’t post this gif. It’s really got nothing to do with this post except that it has Nicolas Cage. And by posting this gif, I’m probably slowing down the page load for a bunch of people and I’m likely gonna cause a few iPhones to crash.
But what can I say? This makes me giggle like a schoolgirl.
Sorry.
I pardon you.
*slow clap*
I went on Dick Cavett many years ago and met Nick Cage. And he was talking about things like art synthesis and Picasso and you can do with acting what he did, or with music, and I came out and I got it, you know, I was looking at him, and gave him this, like – I nodded and winked at him. Nicholas Cage, you know. And we were sharing the trumpet. And ever since then, because I accepted whatever his philosophy is, I believe that I wanted to approach jazz as acting. And so he became like a surrealist son of sorts.
-Miles Davis
Holy shit a talking corpse
Walt Disney helped me raise him though.
In Europe it’s Kilometers Davis.
actually, in england they call “davises” “lorries”
In America it’s called stealing a Zach Galifinakias joke.
I went on Dick Cavett many years ago and met Nic Cage. He was rambling on about some shit, I don’t know, like Picasso? No one had any clue what he was talking about, even Dick, and I think he might have been high. Then I had to go out there and it was so embarrassing, and he looked at me like, “Help me out here, Miles,” so I just winked at him. I didn’t know what else to do, you know? Anyhow, after that he started sending me Father’s Day cards every year that always referenced sharing my trumpet. That was some weird, borderline-homoerotic shit, man. And so I got a restraining order.
- Miles Davis
I like the shout out to Walt Disney, who is apparently his mother along with surrealist father Miles Davis? And, despite Walt being a big influence, it’s obviously Nic that came up with the idea of Sorceror’s Apprentice. And on the set of Next no less. Great ideas for movies come while on the set of great movies.
And then, he somehow tries to make “Bruckheimer makes formulaic movies” into something resembling a compliment.
I have an image of Miles Davis fucking Walt Disney in my
walletmind.Sure, Next might not have had a ton of commercial success. But you know what they say – everyone who did see Next went out and actually started a band.
I saw Jerry B at a party once. He was tiny and disgruntled!
Nicolas Cage, the Jack Kerouac of acting.
Maybe it’s just me, but this interview proves something I long suspected: Nicolas Cage is a national treasure. (Woof, so sorry)
Make another joke like that and you’ll be gone in 60 seconds.
A Nicolas Cage Reminder: Dying your hair blond makes you Celtic. Like Miles Davis, you know?
“And so [Miles Davis] became like a surrealist father of sorts, along with Walt Disney.”
If I remember correctly, I think that was the storyline of a popular 80s sitcom:
I want to upvote this forever and ever and ever.
I will never sleep again.
it sounds like nicholas cage went to the nicholas sparks school of acting.
“Nicholas Cage walked along the rows of DVDs and pulled down a copy of The Room. ‘This is acting,’ he said. ‘This is what I act.’ He put the movie back on the shelf and nodded. ‘That’s what I act.’”
Forgive me for having seen the movie Next, but what I find funny is that his character in the film is in fact – a magician. So way to go, Nicholas Cage, for coming up with the idea of “I want to play a magician. You know, I want to play like a sorcerer” on that set all by yourself.
Gabe, the title of this post should read “Nicolas Cage is the New HERO”
I saw this Miles Davis documentary (impressed?) one time and he was giving an interview in his later years, I think in the 1980s. He had a stringy long skullet (bald on top, long in the back) type hair and the sleeves of a sports jacket rolled up. I remember thinking he looked like the Crypt Keeper and now that I see Nicholas Cage’s picture above with his nasty skullet hair type, and I think he looks like the Crypt Keeper as well. Now I feel like John Malkovich in that one scene in Being John Malkovich where every where he looks he sees John Malkovich, except with me it’s the Crypt Keeper instead.
In Crypt Keeper voice: “Freddie Freeloader? More like DEAD-y Freeloader!” (maniacal laughter)
Birth of the…GHOUL!
Bitches BOO!
That Nicholas Sparks can take a walk to DISMEMBER!
(I was gonna go with ‘Kind of BOO!’ but you beat me to the boo. Well played.)
You people are the best
If Nic Cage is modeling his career, or his “craft” on Miles Davis, then his Kind Of Blue must be Con Air. He’s at the top of his game and focuses all of his strengths (ridiculous wig, absurd accent, perfect tank top) into one performance, and he got the best sidemen in the biz to be in it (John Malkovich, Steve Buscemi, John Cusak!).
And if so, then I cannot wait until his Bitches Brew comes out.
My favorite part is actually when he describes his character’s “cool” style as harkening back to the “500s or 600s.” Sixth century homespun tunics are so hawt.
I’m just sorry he didn’t answer what, for me, is the most pressing Nicolas Cage-related query: “HOW DID IT GET BURNED? HOW DID IT GET BURNED? HOW DID IT GET BURNED?”
Now all I can think about is Nick Cage reading copies of Tiger Beat from the sixth century!
Three ways to encourage the ardoure of the younge laidies:
1. Avail thyself of a tunic of the homespun varietee.
2. Hast thou considered goeing on a moste holy pilgrimage?
3. Contract ye not the black plague
I would also like to put forth my admiration for Dick Cavett, who is a real National Treasure. A few months ago I saw him on The Dave Hill Explosion, where he was the featured guest along with Gordon Gano. At the end of the show, Gordon and his new band started to play Blister in the Sun, and all of us aging hipster kids who buttered our bread with the first Violent Femmes album got all hot under the collar, until Dick Cavett stood up and politely took the microphone from dear Gordon. The band quieted down and kept the main riff going while Mr. Cavett asked if he could sing a few dirty Irish drinking shanties. Gordon and the band tried to follow suit, but what resulted from this “jam” was a mess of Dick Cavett singing dirty limericks over out of tune and awkward music. After the crash and the burn, he thanked everyone and announced that he needed to go home, and then left the stage. Gordon finished the song and proclaimed that it was the longest version of Blister in the Sun he’d ever played.
My point is, Dick Cavett is certainly an odd duck, and I’m not at all surprised that he was running the surrealist adoption agency that paired up Nic Cage with Miles and Walt.
I will now add “passing the crazy torch to Nicholas Cage” to “creating jazz fusion” on my “Come On, Miles Davis” list.
Nicolas
Comedy is also like jazz. Jazz that makes you laugh.
Really, it is obvious, he is a genius just like Sir Ian McClellan, who is definitely serious in this video:
I am bad at this. This video! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyoWmkhRyp8
Credit where it’s due: I also thought it would be funny if Nicolas Cage played a magician.
And we’re off! Nicholas Cage has assisted in getting this week off on the right foot.
Nicholas Cage in Next Week/Off.
“And ever since then, because he accepted whatever my philosophy was…”
Sounds like you got a real handle on your own philosophy there, Mr. Cage.
This is extra awesome because I read it in Donald Kaufman’s voice. “It’s like technology, versus horse.”
I heard that Spike Jonze told Cage to ignore every acting instinct he had in Adaptation. There you go.