Photos
I just got off an airplane (ladies!) so give me a second to warm up the blog (barf). While you wait, check out this racist.
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This week's five highest rated comments as voted on by you, the lowest rated comment as voted on by you, and the editor's choice.
'Sup, pogs!
Let's all go to the movies, and let's all see the same movie, and let's discuss it here.
Gabe loves fan fiction. You Can Make It Up features his own personal alternate adventures starring some of our favorite characters.
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
Don’t they prescan those calls? Jesus.
I just looked up what C-SPAN actually stands for. Cable-Satellite Public Affairs Network. Where’s “Whites only” in there?
This is a big fucking deal*
*not a big deal this guy is an ignorant racist
Oh, phew. I was beginning to think something terrible had happened to you, Gabe! Welcome back.
Just so long as he wasn’t flying to Sydney, we’ll get him back safely.
Videogum could use a little more Holden coverage.
Gabe keeps flying back and forth from Sydney to New York, hoping that he will finally be able to get back to the island.
I guess I always figured that Gabe traveled by steamship, and was opposed to such new-fangled sky flyery.
I’m suprised he decided to take the plane when subs are so much easier to navigate.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.
I love how you can see the anchor’s wheels turning behind his eyes like “God, I knew this was going to happen someday, I just hoped it would be to someone else.”
oh, no. cspan anchors are ninjas trained in the ancient art of holding their face still while being told absolutely horrendous and moronic things.
Haha, I guess I don’t watch enough C-Span. Anyway, on second thought, I wish he had just shut that dude down. Then it would have been much more newsworthy.
I thought the anchor was the best. “Just let him keep talking…” he thought. “Just let him keep right on talking…”
I should bring some papers with me wherever I go so I can awkwardly shuffle them around when I get uncomfortable.
It’s why people smoke. So I’ve been told, of course.
Werttrew sent up a Tweet alert for us to comment on Stereogum! I was so scared! Thank God you’re here, I needed a 147 year old adult!
i used to watch cspan when i first got to work in the morning for the sheer bonkersness of people calling in. it’s basically just like coast to coast, except instead of people calling in with their crazy abduction stories and true tales of having intimate relations with bigfoot or ghosts, it’s a bunch of retired people addled on caffeine and boredom spewing all sorts of nonsense about how turrible the govmint is and how awful all the lazy welfare queens are and how iraqis are just ungrateful assholes. i stopped watching it in maybe 2006? good to know that the tradition of loudly proving how fucking ignorant so many among us truly are continues. god bless the united states of america!
“I’m getting too old for this shit.”
- America
No worries Gabe, I’ve kept myself entertained by watching this video 100+ times
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sb9eL3ejXmE
Wow this is great. Much better than racism.
That was AWFUL (hilarious)! He is a bad father. Trying to force his child into gender norms. jerk.
If only I could rustle papers as calmly as the CSPAN guy when my grandpa goes on racist tirades.
Just kidding, my grandpa is dead and thus currently not tirading in White Heaven or whatever.
True story: When I opened this post in a new tab and saw “Buffering…” I literally waited a few ticks thinking that it was loading. I’m an idiot.
i wish the anchor reacted a little bit more. he very much pretended he wasn’t talking to a crazy person, thats never the funniest way to deal with crazy people. but really, the anchor’s answer to the question basically made it seem like he agrees that black people shouldn’t call in on the republican line
It’s funny that he can tell people’s races by the sound of their voices, because I can tell racist assholes by the sound of their dumbass accents.
Also, WTF is he talking about?? It’s like it’s somehow common knowledge that C-SPAN has separate phone lines according to race: “If you’re white, please call this number…., any other race besides white call this number…”
hey now! plenty of people with dumbass accents are not actually dumbass racists! signed, someone who speaks kinda twangy. especially after drinking moonshine. (not joking on the last part.)
Well, I’m from Texas and I say “ya’ll” and “fixin’ to” a lot, which gets me a lot of grief from my New York and Chicago transplant friends (I hang out with a lot of non-native Texans). But I’m talking mainly about the way he just totally sounds like a dumbass/moron. But I also know some people who sometimes try to “sell” their southern accent, especially when they talk about being southern or Republican or patriots or whatever. And I’m always like, “wait, you’re exaggerating your accent now!”
But I have nothing against a purely legitimate regional-based southern accent.
I’m from Texas as well and I normally don’t have an accent until I get drunk. I will however, stand by my use of “yall”. It’s just so much easier.
Texans!
Gabe! Oh thank god. I was having to do work. Work! Can you imagine? It’s like doing nothing, except you’re doing something. Madness! These hands are much too delicate for such barbarian tasks. And I’m glad you’re alive. I thought the batteries in your LifeAlert were dead, and you along with them.
Stereotypegum everyone. Let’s try to mirror Bill’s enthusiasm for profiles. Instead of “We appreciate your call,” what should the host have said?
“Bill, thank you for taking time out of your day from f****** your goats to call.”
“You should change your name from C-SPAN to Black-SPAN”.
boom, roasted*
*non-use of capital letters and exclamation point is intentional.
I was waiting for him to say “Colored” Span but he totally threw me for a loop.
That was a very respectful comment, Bill.
Now…i don’t know pretend to understand C-Span, but did he say they have a phone line just for black people? Yerp. Whose really the racist?
No, I believe he said they have a phone line for Republicans, Democrats, and independent affiliations.
We’d like you to go somewhere else too, everybody wins
So wait, Obama ISN’T Jesus Christ? huh.
“The majestic albatross has a beautiful 10-foot black span. I mean C-SPAN. I mean wing black.” – Sir David Attenborough
A Blaffair to Rememblack
Off topic, I remember seeing a clip of the Paul Reubens as Prince Gerhardt on YouTube that was subtitled in Portuguese. Tina Fey mentioned on Letterman that 30 Rock is aired in South America and I just wonder how they’d translate “A Blaffair to Rememblack”. Google language tool is no help.
this guy is just saying what the tea baggers wish they could say. except that he’s been given a slightly more anonymous way to say it. they are just racists who really can’t stand to see a black man in the oval office.
i am just sayin’, once this generation dies i might have a party. look at the new america fool, it’s brown and proud!
(as i was typing this i answered the phone, i’m a receptionist for a law firm, and i actually said “name of law firm, we’re brown and proud.” the caller thought it was hilarious.)
my boss though, he didn’t think it was as funny. (he’s the one who said it first though.)
Legal support staff unite! (Our firm’s small, so I’m a legal secretary-admin assistant-receptionist-hybrid)
I used to work for a member of Congress from a racially diverse Southern district. This same man called with this same message literally called in 40 times a day. In fact, this guy is MUCH calmer than most crazy racist assholes that call in. That anchor got off rather light.
ha! i worked on a campaign once for a black candidate, and we got some ridiculous calls. my favorite was the lady who called and told me that i was going to pay in the afterlife for working for a man who was in league with satan, and that everyone knew that black people only wanted to take the money and the souls of the hardworking whites of this town, and that as a young white girl i needed to be vigilant and make sure he didn’t try to assault my virtue. and you cant say anything back to them! you have to be nice to them! that job was horrible.
I think I know your sister. A friend of mine told me a story very similar to this about her sister. If you are not my friend’s sister then this is nuts that this has happened more than once in this day and age.
well i don’t have a sister, so it’s definitely happened more than once. in fact, i would venture to say that it happens all the time. crazy racists: they live among us, and they’re not afraid to use to the phone. except the really crazy ones who think their phones have been tapped by black panthers.
“this same man CALLED with the same message literally CALLED 40 times a day”
That makes SO MUCH SENSE!
I am going to call C-Span and politely, yet firmly request that all racists call in using the racist line.
So, I went ahead and purchased videogum.org in case Gabe wasn’t coming back but now it looks like a waste of time. Who do I see about reimbursing my $9.95?
If Gabe isnt going to show up to work on time then he should be fired. Just sayin’.