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Cowabunga!
How’s it hanging, dudes who plan to work hard to avoid the mistakes of their fathers and young women who want a more flexible and undogmatic approach to feminist ideals? Off the chain! Today I want to rap at you about true love. Your bodies are going through a lot of changes right now. OxyClean! With all the hormones and SoBe racing through your system, you’re probably pretty confused, but you’re also probably pretty excited. Let me reassure you that it’s totally normal! Confusion and excitement and SoBe are normal parts of life.
Of course, I know you’re not going to listen to anything that I say. “Shut up, Grandpa,” you’re probably saying, “why don’t you crawl back into your coffin and nail the lid shut and stay in it forever and never talk again.” Kidz can b so krool! But if you won’t listen to me, maybe you will listen to this song about first love from noted expert Justin Bieber?!
I thought so!
Who could ever forget their first love and how they shut down a Caribbean resort in order for you to chase a girl your management team hired off of Craigslist around an aquarium designed in the style of an Egyptian-themed restaurant at a shopping mall. You can still remember the way her hair smelled, and how she was wearing two watches for some reason. Always with the two watches, your first love. It was so overwhelming that you had to go out to the private beach with a camera crew and make faces like you had serious gastro-intestinal distress as the wind blew your lesbian haircut into your 12-year-old eyes.
Ah, young love! Enjoy it! Like Bieber Febver, it doesn’t last forever.
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AWWWW!
!!!
Is there a jail with a nice PA system playing a lot of JBieb that i can go to instead?
Try saying “Bieber” over and over again. You feel like Beaker on Sesame Street. Your question of why I was saying Justin Bieber’s last name over and over again to know that it made me sound like Beaker from Sesame Street, will go unanswered.
I recognize that Level from Goldeneye. Justin’s going to need to get some proximity mines if he wants to stand a chance, and god help him if anybody chooses to play as oddjob.
If your friends don’t have a No Oddjob rule, you need to find some gentlemen to play with.
I feel like this comment was made just for me. You truly are a Videogum treasure, Notsewfast.
A++++++++++ GREAT COMMENT FAST SHIPPING
everything about this thread is top notch
This comment gets me; up-votes forever.
Fucking OddJob. I always loved the moron friend that thought it would be fun to play as Jaws. Dude was huge!
Damn you, always with the perfect comments. I think I am just going to start upvoting you before reading the comment to save time.
Only Slappers, License to Kill, Grace Jones.
only way to do it.
I kept waiting for Colby to show up.
it’s really great that we live in a world where wholesome romance between two young lesbians is not only accepted but is also commercially successful.
I wish! It’s really annoying when I’m surfin’ the Net [that is what we teenz do] and I come across a picture of what looks like a cute butch lesbian and then it turns out to be THE BIEB. It’s the worst kind of RickRolling.
Don’t get me wrong, this is a beautiful song and a great video
…but I gotta masturbate at least once, DAMN!
(Sorry!)
I had no problem masturbating to this video.
SEE YOU GUYS IN JAAAAAAAIIIIILLLLL!
He must wear those dogtags in preparation for the inevitable end, when he is mauled to death by crazed, crying three year old fans, and they’ll need to know where to send the body.
I heard that Topher Grace has tainted Justin Bieber’s squeaky-clean reputation by taking him to the most exclusive butt-suxxing club in L.A.
TAINTed.
Like a taint.
You’d have been better off posting a tangentially related image of Topher Grace, my friend.
Wait? What!? Was this a club, or a brothel?
Justin Bieber = so uncool. Us = so cool. Remember when that horrible little girl was crying like a baby over him? She symbolizes all his fans. Grow up, you stupid little girl ha ha LOL
Justin’s shorts get to touch his knees, but his girlfriend’s shorts only reach past her butt? Double standards!
He likes his first loves to dress that way so he has an easier time suxxing their butts.
I think Tophersuxbutts may be on to something: “I heard that Topher Grace has tainted Justin Bieber’s squeaky-clean reputation by taking him to the most exclusive butt-suxxing club in L.A.”
the thing that i don’t get (because i’m old) about the whole teen pop music industry is that with a pool of literally millions of kids to draw from why can’t they ever seem to find someone who is both hot and talented? this kid is just an awful fucking singer, pure and simple. which isn’t to say that i think he’s hot (i do!) because i don’t want to go to old people who comment on the hotness of teens in the teen korner jail.
If Justin Bieber ever does a song with Jay Sean, I think it might end up being my favorite sing of all time.
We should all be so lucky as to find something in this world that makes us as happy as Justin Bieber makes all of us so happy the darndest things.
“I fucking love Justin Bieber …. dill with it” – That guy
‘Joshua’ = CopperCab
The fact that this exists in the world in which I exist has made my depression and bi polar come back, too.
That’s really sad! It’s the same for me, but I listen to R.E.M.’s first album or Bridge Over Troubled Water. Poor guy.
I would put that face on my tampon, anyday.
Thanks to Rory, the salient part of this video for me was at 0:34 where Justin puts up his finger, which I will now forever view as a ladyhole leakage plug.
Jail doesn’t sound so bad. You’ll all wait for me till I get out, right?
Even JOEY could take this kid. Amirite?
I signed in just to upvote this comment. Upvotes forever.
Those slip ons she is wearing look suspiciously like water shoes. Walking through Olmec’s temple. Best first date ever!!
Wait. THAT’s Justin Bieber? So who was that kid that I ran down in my Camaro?
I wish we could fast-forward to Justin Bieber’s Leif-Garrett-Hesher-Burnout phase.
Frankly, I’m a bit creeped out by the amount of attention this kid is getting from this site.
Frankly. I’m a bit creeped out by the fact that while I was watching this video, a messenger walked into my office and seemed a bit creeped out that I was listening to Justin Bieber. It all comes full circle!
i watched “diary of justin beber” on mtv, having heard of him through this website, and his life seems really boring and lonely. he doesnt have anyone his age around him, he just travels all the time. and he was a signing in an outfit his stylist picked out, which was like a parka and a russian furry hat. there were so many people in the room that it was really really hot. he actually had to leave and puke because he was overheated. but then he went back and signed more things and they wouldnt let him take off the hat. i hope his voice changes tomorrow and his career is over, because his life totally sucks.
i also learned that his career was started via youtube videos his mom put up.
You leave the fine products endorsed by the late Billy Mays out of this!
Your time is nigh Justin Bieber. I shall come by and take thee to heaven.
It seemed funny in my head.
If Justin Bieber weren’t so busy sexting your girl on his razor scooter he’d casually whip his bangs out of his eyes and y’all to stop “hating.”
So wise, JB.
I am wearing a grey shirt/black tee combo and have that haircut and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.
He’s like 15 and just wants to settle down and get married. Or at least the 45 year old producer writing all of his songs does.
He can’t disappear until he tells us how he beat shaq
Plus! Those watches look like crap.
Don’t let the ‘plastic’ fool you. That’s gold painted blue and red.
That resort definitely has a thing for young pop sensations. The Jonas Brothers and whatsherface, the girl, are always there. And they have a huge bridge suite that’s like $250,000/night – which they used to call ‘the MJ suite.’
i think this video might have made me bisexual. this bieber kid looks so much like an adorable lesbian that it’s making me want to make out with him. if he were a girl. does that make sense?
Too much sense, actually.
The thing I like most about this comment is that it can be stated by both males and/or females.
You’re not alone, kirabira. I mean, caringiscool, because knowing your real name is creepy.
Did he have to close the whole resort for the video? It’s like Justin Bieber doesn’t even understand the economic impact of lost tourism dollars on a post-colonial Caribbean nation.
And he looks like Ms. Jackson, my high school gym teacher.
Those aren’t two watches!
That girl obviously has diabetes.
One of those is a Wristop™.
“Never Let You Go” is all about Beiber’s ex-girlfriend who had diabetes.
She had to break up with him because he was TOO SWEET!
(I’m so sorry, you guys)
True Story, when I was younger (~5 years old), I was OBSESSED with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and said “Cowabunga Dudes” and “Totally Tubular” so much, my parents were actually worried.
I had no idea Kurt from Glee was also making music videos.
We’re all going to prison, there is not a joke.
Hello??
besides the thrill of Goldeneye comments, just wanna put it out there that I’ve listened to this video three times (while reading AV Club’s LOST recap because it is so good and I am killing time till Gabe’s goes up : ( ) and My World 2 is definitely getting a download in the near future.
go bieb go
You guys! NONE OF US ARE GOING TO PRISON TODAY! http://www.funnyordie.com
“Be thine own palace, or the world’s thy jail”
-John Donne