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Your tampons hold the key to humanity’s future. Your tampons have nightmares about nuclear Apocalypse. Your tampons live off the grid. Your tampons are expert marksmen. Your tampons recorded a series of audio messages for you explaining your lineage to be given to you when you were of age. Your tampons have been in and out of mental institutions because no one will believe your tampons when they explain that they gave birth to the son of a resistance soldier from the future defending mankind from an impending robot uprising. Your tampons love tank tops. Your tampons attempted to murder Miles Dyson, the computer researcher from Cyberdyne Systems who would eventually design the revolutionary microprocessor that would eventually become SkyNet. Your tampons died of acute myeloid leukaemia in 1997. Your tampons are a legend among the resistance. Your tampons give John Connor the strength he needs in the darkest of hours to fight the robots. Your tampons are heavy flow. Your tampons are amazing. (Click photo to enlarge. Photo via FAILblog.)
UPDATE: TheDailyWhat informs us that this is Photoshopped. FILE UNDER: Still Amazing!
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Come with me if you want to swim.
Hasta la vista, leakage.
I’ll be back… in 28 days.
I know now why you menstruate, but it is something that I can never do.
Your period becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, we try to pull the plug…
Is this what 28 Days Later was based on? That movie was scary.
My tampons are more Linda Hamilton in Beauty and the Beast.
i would think you would want your tampons to be more Beast from Beauty and the Beast…for the absorbancy…
ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew
+1 for vomit?
that creates a dangerous precedent.
I don’t get it.
Why would you post a picture of a stick of “Hair Dynamite” when this article is abou- !!!
ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew
Your tampon no longer works.
They’re pads.
Back in the early nineties these two sisters I knew would call each other “Maxi Pads” and I didn’t know what they were talking about. It was like their little joke. ‘You’re such a Maxi Pad’, ‘To the Max…i Pad” were things they would giggle. I asked my mom what a Maxi Pad was and she sighed really heavy and said she didn’t have time for this right now.
I guess I’ll never know.
I know a great video that can help you out.
not even pads. pantyliners. they are the wimpiest of sanitary products.
this post reminds me of the time in college when a guy asked me why tampons have wings.
Every time you kill a Terminator, a tampon gets its wings.
At least those tampons aren’t molten mercury … YET!
and yet production remains halted on my Edward Furlong Limited Edition Dental Dam
I think you mean Edward Furlong Limited Edition Dental DAMN!
It might be a little too late to cash in on this one? Wouldn’t, like, Lord of the Rings tampons be even more relevant?
I’ve got an even better idea!
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
You see, teenage girls like Justin Bieber.
Teenage girls also menstruate.
THEREFORE, rather than marketing tampons to male nerds aged 20-45 (Sarah Connor’s key demographic, natch), if someone were to create a tampon with Justin Bieber’s name/likeness attached, it could be a gold mine.
also the picture is funny/gross because while it looks like he is having an idea, it also looks like he is ready to stop a finger-sized leak.
Like the Twilight Dildo…or R.Patt Underwear.
also: gross.
V for VaginaGum
Justin Beiber is a lesbian, lesbians are women, and women menstruate
Sponsored by NuvaRing
My tampons would never marry James Cameron.
They would, however, star in the hit movie “Dante’s Peak.”
Dr. Silberman: Why didn’t you bring any weapons, something more advanced? Don’t you have, uh, ray guns? Show me a piece of future technology.
Kyle Reese: Well, I’ve got these really rad tampons…
Period: “I’ll be back. In a month.”
I was thinking of a way to factor that line in, but you got it goooood.
My tampons don’t do anything that cool. They just go in the hole between my legs about every four weeks for 3-4 days.
So many themes of female power! First Kesha and now these? This is truly a great time to be alive and female.
You forgot Get Hatched!
Well, I just don’t know about this. Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret never covered what to do when your tampons made you the target of a unstoppable death robot from the future.
that book only freaked me out with its talk of belts and hooks and visiting your grandmother in the 70s
Don’t lady parts shut down when you don’t have enough meat on your bones? Or when the testosterone gets amped too high?
So she really wouldn’t even need her own Always “endorsed” by Sarah Connor
I love the fact that there is a tampon tag at videogum.
You want your tampon posts organized right? What are we animals?
And it’s not even in a post about tampons. Always doesn’t make that shit. They don’t want to take your virginity.
guys, these tampons are to plug bullet holes. everyone knows that.
Oh, you mean Blood Plugs™. I’ve heard of those.
Yup, that’s right—it’s fake. More viral marketing for Jonas Åkerlund’s new action epic, TERMINATOR VERSUS SCARFACE.
did you ever flip the applicator around and use it to launch the tampon at someone? thats what terminator people do, right? launch things?i dont know anything about it. but i do know about tampon missiles.
Exciting new hygienic product from Cybergyne Systems!
“Shut up! Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP! It’s all your fault! Motherfucker, it’s all your fault!”
i can tell by the lightsabers
I saw this while sitting in class and had to try SO hard not to laugh.
Upvote!
HAHA- I guess the REAL Sarah Connor is a german pop star. Suddenly everything makes sense.
May I add:
“Your tampon is a neuralnet processor…a learning computer.”
the real version is actually more terrifying to me. There are at least a dozen signs that the picture isn’t of a real person.
“Watching my limited edition tampons with my period, it was suddenly so clear. The tampon wouldn’t stop, it would never leave my period. It would never hurt my period or shout at my period or get drunk and hit my period or say it was too busy to spend time with my period. And it would die to protect my period. Of all the would-be feminine hygiene products that came over the years, this thing, this tampon, was the only thing that measured up. In an insane world, it was the sanest choice.” -Sarah Connor
Or “‘sanitariest’ choice”