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“You lookin’ for some news, ninja?” Haha. NEWS!
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This week's five highest rated comments as voted on by you, the lowest rated comment as voted on by you, and the editor's choice.
'Sup, pogs!
Let's all go to the movies, and let's all see the same movie, and let's discuss it here.
Gabe loves fan fiction. You Can Make It Up features his own personal alternate adventures starring some of our favorite characters.
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
i got what you need on me, BITCH.
oh. this is going to be a recurring segment?
I guess the Gummalo’s win.
also, i want sugar slam to play costume sex with me in her hardhat. bitch be fine.
printed and going in the ‘afternoon scrapbook.’
AKA
The Whack Stack
dddddddddaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Is the chop chop slide anything like the cha cha slide? Since I pwn that bitch up
MrNostalgiacritic (1 day ago) 0 Reply | Spam
SUGAR SLAM IS ANNOYING AS FUCK SORRY but i am not going to the happy dazed tour i am going to see Mc chris insted sorry los but i just wish ICP wpuld have someone in there record company with them
Hahaha yeah MC Chris is DEFINITELY better than ICP
wouldn’t expect him to be a Juggalo
“DJ Fillin” is not exactly a DJ name that inspires much confidence in one’s DJing abilities
I took it more as DJ Fillin’, as in “The only thing I consume is Twinkie fillin’ BITCH!”
DJ Fillin’ is actually made of fillin’. He’s a bag of skin that bleeds twinkie fillin’ when he gets hatcheted. DAAMMMNNNN!!! OH SHIT!
dont get me wrong this is a beautiful report with a beautiful message
but i gotta masturbate at least once DAMN!
“Sugar Slam” is the Juggalo term for syphilis, I believe.
Nononono –
Sugar Slam is the course of Treatment
And by course of treatment I mean Juggalo’s just poor faygo’s on their dicks and neden’s.
Poor Faygo indeed.
AHHHHHH! Super Ultra Mega Fail
“And in other news, the fuck is up wit dat federal highway appropriations bill, faggots?”
You’re on fire today. Funny Fire
I live in a really strange neighborhood, the best word I can think to describe it is “sterile.” There is absolutely no character. All the residences are high rises, there is a major mall 2 blocks in one direction and a creepy underground (toucher haven) mall 2 blocks the other direction. Additionally, there are a bunch of corporate offices, military contractors, and straight up military. The nightlife is nearly non-existant, people keep to themselves, etc. I’m not even going to go into what its like during tourist season…
The only reason I live here is b/c of the tremendous convince factor (97 walk score). Plus, I got a good deal when I moved in which means I’m in a nicer building than I could really afford. The area is also pretty mixed not just racially but culturally. Its still mostly white but whatever. Anyway, it was with great astonishment that while walking to get some brunch on Saturday that I encountered a Latino man in his late 20s/early 30s wearing a Psychopathic Record hoodie.
Now, I have no way of knowing whether or not he was a Juggalo or just a guy who enjoys wearing serial killer graphic apparel (I didn’t stop and ask him for fear of having my nuts chopped off or something, obvs) but I was still amazed by the possibility of Juggalos in my neighborhood.
Last Halloween I was walking around a mostly black neighborhood in San Francisco, and I saw a guy sitting out on his porch dressed up full Juggalo, with the clown make-up, ICP shirt, everything. It made me wonder whether he was just dressing up for Halloween, or if he was secretly a Juggalo who could only really be himself just this one night of the year.
I used to have a roommate who was a Juggalo. His goal in life was to go to the Gathering of the Juggalos. He was saddened by the lack of Juggalo compatriots in our town and would occasionally put on his make-up and just hang around the apartment. We also had a mutual friend who was a “metal” loving person and they could not discuss their music preferences because Juggalos HATE metal people. It was an interesting year to say the least.
Ok, I’m about 7 minutes in,and from what I can tell this is not going to inform me about cutlery, is it?
Wait, about 16 minutes in and Ms. Slam is in the kitchen. There may still be hope!
This whole operation needs to be bulldozed off of a cliff, onto rocks. A little disappointed at the mc chris references in the comments also.
So, Gabe, what do you think about doing a little investigative journalism and going to the Gathering of Juggalos pretending to be one, Never-Been-Kissed-style (oh God), and report what you see? Sure, you might get killed, but hey, journalism, right? He knows what I’m talking about:
Seems more like a job for Joe “Taking One for the Team” Mande
Sugar Slam seems like a really sweet girl who’s about to have an emotional breakdown at any second and it’s taking all her strength to hold it together. And I am supes jealous of DJ Fillin’s vocabulary. “What the fuckin’ hell is the fuck up mathofackO(?)?”
I wonder if Juggalo’s live in suburbs full of fellow juggalo’s, just quietly pleading to god through clenched teeth to please, PLEASE just get them the fuck out of their sad suburb full of dull clowns who desperately drink faygo every night in a desperate attempt to forget that they’re supposed to be the most evolved creatures on the planet. I wonder if they only watch Hatchet Happenings to drown out the sad forgotten animal thats screaming in their chests. While their wives, all carbon copies of Sugar Slam feed off of each others rumors like cannibalistic vampires.
Because that would make a great Cormac McCarthy book/show called Moral Orel.
Sugar Slam may be the most eminently quotable woman of all time.
“And like herpes in that ass, I’m out, but I’ll be back.”
I’ve been wondering lately if real clowns are getting sick of being wrongly identified as Juggalos. On the flip side, I wonder how many Juggalos have been asked to appear at childrens’ birthday parties.
Cursing is one of my favorite things about life. However, after hearing a few minutes of Juggalo speak, the idea of cursing is so cringe inducing that I want to wash my own mouth out with soap.
Every boombox needs truck nuts, or stero-nutz? I don’t know.
stereogum needs to change its name to stereonutz ASAP.
It’s been there all along!
stereo/videogum[ballz].
Hairy is our middle name…? Ew.
Did everyone miss the point?? There’s a DVD documentary of the Gathering of the Juggalos. Gabe, are you ninja enough to give us a synopsis and review?
Behind DJ Filin’ there is a head hanging behind him which is physically making me sick. Not because it has fake blood on it, but because I’m thinking about how many Juggalos have touched it.
Is this real life?
On disc 1 you get the WHOLE ALBUM IN ITS ENTIRETY! DAMNNNNN! This special edition contains every single song from the original edition. Thats right, NInjas we included every last track from the original pressing of this record. No shit son!