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What a week it has been! Wah-wah-wee-wah, or whatever. (Borat.) This week we learned a lot about writing and loneliness. And someone let the clowns out! But most importantly, we stayed safe.
After the jump, this week’s five Highest Rated Comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated Comment, the winner of the Diddy Got Slimed Caption Contest, and the Editor’s Choice.
This Week’s Highest Rated Comments
| #5 |  |
Kateness | Mar 23rd | Score:95 |
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Is this what Ke$ha feels like when she wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? |
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| Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Diddy Got Slimed | |||
| #4 |  |
Lakonislate | Mar 22nd | Score:112 |
| Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Envy | |||
| #3 |  |
Jeb | Mar 19th | Score:114 |
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That’s SO ravin’. |
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| Posted in: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments | |||
| #2 |  |
shellbomber | Mar 24th | Score:117 |
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Usually Bill Clinton is the one leaving stains on other people’s clothes. –Jay Leno |
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| Posted in: Duh Aficionado Magazine: George W. Bush Is A Jerk | |||
| #1 |  |
mitchnmurray | Mar 24th | Score:135 |
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They can take our lives, but they will not be allowed to take our right to petition the king about papal land grants. |
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| Posted in: Best New Party Game: 19: #calmmovielines | |||
Ed. note: After the tragic events of last week, it was nice to see everyone rallying together first thing Monday morning, and working as a team to make this week’s comments better than ever. Yay! We did it!
This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment
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Steve Winwood | Mar 22nd | Score:-27 |
| High Fidelity is a terrible film | ||
| Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Envy | ||
Ed. note: OK, Steve Winwood. OK. Relax, buddy.
This Week’s Caption Contest Winner
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Notsewfast | Mar 23rd | Score:124 |
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For a brief period in 1998, Puff Daddy wished to be called P-Soup. |
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| Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Diddy Got Slimed | ||
Ed. note: Congratulations to notsewfast. You earned it!
This Week’s Editor’s Choice
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wrj89 | Mar 25th | |
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“JAMES FRANCO, I’M FORWARDING YOU AN EMAIL,” — David Mamet |
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| Posted in: The Soft Sweet Poetry Of James Franco’s Short Fiction | ||
Ed. note: This comment is TBS Very Funny, but most importantly, it shows that wrj89 has been PAYING ATTENTION. Thank you, wrj89. A+! Extra credit!
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WHAT!?? Aw come on, guys, jeez. I got Worst Commentator two weeks in a row! That’s not fair!
Completely fair, you totes just took the top comment spot from me and you doggin my raps too son.
What’s Beef?
Beef is when Steve Winwood got no teef
layin in a heap in the middle of the street
steppin to a monstah with no shoes on ya feet
Still wonderin whats beef?
Hey, everyone still likes you. Some people just like High Fidelity more…for whatever reason.
No worries. I don’t like High Fidelity either.
Are you from Atlanta?
no.
We still love you!
Why is my witty response awaiting moderation?
Here’s a secret to not getting the lowest rated comment: don’t disparage beloved films and tv shows.
You know, at least not for no good reason.
All in the Family sucks.
hey! stifle it meathead.
I used to have to be up for work at 5 am and would watch it on the Peachtree network…whatever that is
Does it suck for any particular reason?
I learned that when I nominated “Heathers” for the WMOAT.
Look on the bright side, you made #1 in Rob Gordon’s Top 5 Worst Comments of the Week!
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
And that’s why you got Worst comment. I mean, not liking a show or a movie is one thing, but if you don’t even get the name of the main character of the movie you thought was terrible…
But for realz, I am still making my mind up if you are a troll or a 13 year-old who doesn’t “get” adults. Just try and not hate everything we love next week! (or do you also hate cats doing people things?)
Are you kidding me? So you’re saying that Rob Gordon is the name of John Cusack’s character? How am I supposed to remember that ten years after watching that movie? I probably wouldn’t have remembered that ten minutes after watching that movie because it was so bad. If you get to sleep with Lisa Bonet, Catherine Zeta Jones and other hot babes then you forfeit your right to whine, complain and sulk around on a movie screen for two hours, bro
Shhh! But this is what I like most about Steve Winwood, don’t rock the boat! Just let Steve Winwood be great.
Agree! Just Let Steve Winwood be great.
Rob Gordon was an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.
High Fidelity is a not a great film #calmstevewinwoodlines
And yet you think LOST is a terrific show. That is a valid opinion, which I do not agree with fully #calmstevewinwoodlines
I agree, “wow #@$#@^%#@%#@%#@%#@^#@%#@%#% “
Wow, watch the language!!!!
You e-mail your mother with those fingers?
He was probably trying to post a picture. Be patient, vcxcbcv, the mysteries of the new boards will let themselves be known to you in time.
Yeah, I think he was just angry he couldn’t post a picture of this cute little puppy.
Chicago Monsters – I’m sure you know but here’s the second warning –
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=112345848776656&ref=mf
And No acrimony, please. I have more than met my quota for face punchings this month.
is that a give or receive -type quota?
Receive. Though I sparingly give out face punchings, I haven’t delivered any in many years. Though if Steve Winwood keeps it up he could get my next shipment.
You should call it “Montrose Ball” wait no you shouldn’t.
Interesting idea, DS3M. Gets me wondering if we might have enough SF Bay Area monsters to host such a gathering. Anyone interested? If so, add me on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/danrstrong and we’ll figure something out.
Also a good idea – I would encourage all monsters of regional affiliations to use this page as a jump off point -
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=105547626135055
We are all adults, and admins as well
Please Post nice things, and create your own parties, in your own locations. Then proceed to be obnoxious, like me, and click any monsters profile, twittahs, Youface, Etc, and Bother the FUCK out of everyone talking about your party.
Amirite?
On a similar note, if anyone near SF wants to go see The Room with me tonight, message me on facebook or reply here. Apparently I have not made any real friends cool enough to appreciate it.
Before this gets out of hand: you are all special flowers and unique like flakes of snow
Teamwork is like snowflakes, look at what happens when they all stick together. (They make a snowman.)
Monsters’ snowball.
They sure do.
This made me crack my balls off.
My first Monsters’ Ball. I’m so excited.
You have been matching my LOLK payments laugh for laugh all week!
Me too! It’s the best feeling in the world!
Better luck next time, self.
sorry this gif has NO discernable context. I just came across it and wanted to put it close to the top. It’s SO CUTE! ^_^
It’s Friday Night!
Time for the Monster dance party!
That guy in the background totally stole my dance move. I call it “The Boogie Bird.” Watch me soar!
Its pretty much a collage of all the best dance moves and outfits. What can I say? Monsters be stylin’.
Is that Benny Ninja?
I got a 74 on one of my comments this week and hoped that would be enough, but alas, ’twas not. I got a taste and now I’m hungry for more! P.S. Nice work, wrj89 — that comment went above and beyond.
And isnt #4 a Gif comment? Jussayin
I guess the rule is only for animated gifs. (yes, really)
Its a .png, just checked
And that was a .ZING, amirite?!
More like a GILF.
Gabe, can you please transfer twelve of my upvotes to Patrick? Thanks.
I wasn’t doggin it, because it slayayays me, obvs Im capt meta-Nomics over here
I think that’s ok.
But if that plane was moving, so help me god, we’d be whining about it already.
did i miss the winner of the birdemic tickets?
I’m curious too.
That was a short one Gabe, have you got somewhere to be tonight? Ooh check out my new commenting robes.
He’s got a date with a young lady, Phyllis Diller
I had to look that up and i found this file photo of Phyllis and Gabe…
They say if you remember the sixties you weren’t there because the sixties were a nightmare.
It’s good to be back, guys. Let’s just hope I don’t get fired for spending so much time here.
but then you’ll be able to spend ALL your time on here!
Which explains last summer.
I lost my job this week after 10 years, but I don’t think it had anything to do with Videogum. At least I can put on my commenting robe and become a level 6 laser lotus.
i’m a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and i like to kiss my own butt.
Let me guess, this is gonna be another “Confessions” Monsters’ Ball, isn’t it…
Congrats on quoting my fave Simpsons quote ever.
First rule of Videogum Commenting: Always logout before leaving the seedy Eastern European internet cafe.
Yay! Thanks of course to werttrew for tirelessly submitting Amelia for the WMOAT. It will be remembered as the moment the blog became self-aware.
Self-a-what?
I gotta tell you I was overwhelmed by that image. It must have taken a lot of work! I’ll start using it each week.
I just love the fact that we don’t need a blogger to provide us with content, but that we (you) can just create a recurring feature ourselves within the blog. Gabe is now the Old Media.
And please do use it, I was kind of nervous about having to repost it every week, which might feel like I’d be leeching off your Great Campaign.
Yeah… monsters ball, time for me to feel like a looser.
slut.
I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed my time in Videogum chat this week, I suggest everyone try it. For your Health!
my chiropractor recommended it to me.
Its My Babies
ATTACK!
Surprise noms! The best kind of noms!
Oh dear God! Do you still have a face after that?
A Dog Took His Face, And Gave Him A Better Face To Change The World: The DS3M Story
whomp
“I’m going to take your face……. offfffff” – Sir Nicholas Cage
I’d like to make a weekend music recommendation to all you Monsters out there: Top Dog’s new album Slam Dunk’n Hoes. Stereogum needs to get off their ass and do a write up on this bitch because this shit is the bomb.
GOT DAM
That Ho in the hoop needs help from the
RAPFORMERS!
oh noes
Featuring the universally acclaimed stylings of Ganksta Nip and Icey Hott. Hope there’s room on the bill at The Gathering this year. Hopefully opening for Gunt or Ms. Potato Dick.
My mom almost bought this for me when I was a kid, but then she saw the parental advisory sticker.
Wow. Never thought i would place first when my second attempt at the party game was my prefered choice. What does the “winner” recieve anyways?
werttrew puts you on a list and you become immortal! or you jump through time. maybe I don’t know how things work.
i hear you start to see a new color no else knows about!
Commander Sulu claims that color is yellow.
Geez! Spoiler Alert!
but no. that’s not the color
No, really though, has anyone else seen the recent episode or Star Trek where an ageing, senile, now Admiral Sulu claims to have invented a television in the year 2010 that can finally show the color yellow?
LOL
(SOURCE – http://sharpgayjoke.ytmnd.com/ )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hSnAxvRdmY
here’s a link to the REAL commercial without the VERY OFFENSIVE (not offensive) GAY JOKE.
I thought this comment had something to do with Jasper Fforde’s book Shades of Grey, but sadly no.
True! This is the list: http://werttrew.tumblr.com/post/270476062/complete-list-of-videogums-monsters-ball-commenters
I heard you get access to a version of the website in the “classic” layout.
Monster’s Ball is introduction time, except last week, when it was awkward family holiday with your alcoholic aunt falling off the wagon and your schizophrenic uncle locking himself in the bathroom, and your first cousin, who you’re pretty sure is on crack, making forward sexual advances on you, just before your 15 year-old sister announces she’s pregnant and her high school History teacher is the father. But this week: introductions! So hey, I’m me. I’ve been reading Videogum for like a year and a half, and I got my sister addicted to it so I could have SOMEONE in this world who understood me, but that still was not enough, it’s never enough, so I’ve decided to comment sometimes. Not all the time. I gotta pretend I have a life, come on. Trivia: I used to have a livejournal!
I like your nom de Gum.
I’m very French. Or I’ve watched a lot of Dexter’s lab. Pick the one that you think makes me look the coolest.
hey.
Hey!
I love you immediately for your use of this gif. God bless you.
Nice to meet you. Check out chat sometime. It’s a good way to hang out with Monsters in the evenings if you’re day job keeps you from commenting as much as you’d like.
Baby steps, katydid, baby steps. It took me a year and a half to introduce myself! I’ll need to increase my daily dose of Xanax (TM) before trying chat.
I’m not really a fan of screaming children, but that baby monster who announces the Ball is so cute.
I like kids and taking care of little kids, so when I see that boy throwing a tantrum the camp counselor in me is like “No, Joey. We use our inside voices and say ‘please’ when we want something. Now, what do you say?”
I would just like to say that you guys are the greatest collection of strangers on the interwebz. Seriously, you all are the best, with Gabe being King The Best (durrrrrr). It was heartwarming to see everyone come together again like a family after that weird divide that took place last week. I’ve been quietly lurking in the shadows for the better part of a year or so but never commented until yesterday. I’m not as smart or witty as you guys but I’ll try to contribute in a positive manner if at all possible. Have a good weekend everybody!
This has been a great week guys! I am upset that the Kiri/Kenny Powers epic love story has not commenced. It could be a new Atonement, or any other period drama (no pun).
I meant Carrie. Cos knowing a monster’s real name would be totes weird…
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN KENNY POWERS! JUST SAYING.
MOM YOU ARE SO EMBARRASSING
MY WOMB HAD TO PUT UP WITH YOUR SHIT.
Hud yer weisht lassie or I’ll skelp yer erse.
your scottish is showing.
I think you meant “SHITE”?
No. I’m cutting down on E’s cos I chewed my lips off last time I took some.
This be some shameful shit. YOU KNOW I DESERVED THE TOP PRIZE, GABE. You’re just too blind to see the TRUTH!!!
Which is that Topher sux buttz!!!
Whatever happened to Kenny Powers? and the monster’s ball puppy parades?
we should all do our part to keep monster’s ball adorable.
i dont know what happened, but there used to be something cute in that post.
Well, since it appears to be the cool thing to do, I’m using Monsters’ Ball to introduce myself too. I’m yet another long-time reader who’s been too goddamn lazy to comment. Now, since I’m writing a thesis and thus constantly on my computer, I feel the need for new distractions, so here I am. Hopefully my current bitterness and stress will translate into wit.
Hey, buddy! I’d suggest we hold hands through this difficult moment in our internet lives, but holding hands is too much human contact for me. People who comment on blogs are extremely socially awkward, get it?
I’m counting on my years of message board experience to see me through.
Since you’ve made it that far in your education, you are totally going to rock your thesis. Good luck!
My motto in school was “It’ll get done” which was more comforting than “I’ll get it done” because it left room for the daydream that someone else would do my work for me. In the end, the work always did get done though sadly it was always done by me and not a paper writing and researching fairy.
Welcome to commenting. Wit is always good but you can also just tell pointless stories like me.
you’re absolutely right about the illusion of things working themselves out. agency is terrifying. fortunately the subject matter has enough of a life of its own that it feels like I’m giving words to something rather than generating something.
Your anecdotes suffer from a severe lack of NASA FUN FACTS.
yes. less about your school work and more about your astronaut practices! or more about your schoolwork, i guess.
Favorite part about Dogs?
They hate the po too
But also, Cuteness.
So after I came back from MTV Spring Break with Carson Daly, it was brought to my attention there is ANOTHER Jeff?!?!
http://videogum.com/author/jeff-2/
I have switched my avatar to the Mad Men Alison Brie because that is what I must do in this situation. Jeff 2, let’s fight it out. Like Men. Dressed as Alison Brie.
I’m glad you left the cupcake in the corner. Otherwise I might still BRIE confused. (GET IT????!!)
NOBODY LEAVES CUPCAKE IN THE CORNER! Except for me, because that is what I did.
Oh and there is absolutely no need to explain that joke to BRIE. Do you see what I just did there? Because I don’t.
So no need to explain it to Alison Brie. Got it. Or Brie the cheese, maybe. Either way, I will not explain things to cheeses. I will just let them be great and eat them for who they are, not what they look like on the outside.
Although I’m clearly not in the Ball, I just wanted to thank everyone, I made a personal best this week of 33!
(…I’m not very funny.)
This has nothing to do with anything! I just wanted to see if I could post an image because I’ve never done that before, and the first thing I thought of was Gabe Kaplan.
Let me try another one!
