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Oh good. It has been awhile since we have had a party game. What has everyone even been doing at parties lately? Who knows. “Want to talk about current events, or things that are happening in your life?” “No.” That is just an example of things that have almost certainly be said at your more recent parties. The newest one is just a straight-forward classic. #calmmovielines. You get it. But here are some examples:
- “I am not sure whether or not you can handle the truth, but I hope so.”
- “My name is Inigo Montaya. You killed my father. I have been very upset about that, you don’t even know.”
- “Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? Who are you talking to? Is it me? Hi!”
- “So, just stay alive, OK, and I will find you. I’m not sure how long it’s going to take depending on how far you go, but I’ll find you, don’t even worry about it.”
- “Yeah, this is Sparta.”
Whoops, hold on. CAR! Hold on. OK. GAME ON!
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If you wouldn’t mind, lower your elevation to ensure your safety.
if you wouldn’t mind, i’d like it if you lowered your head so that you can be safe with me down here.
They may have deserved to die, I definitely think so. In fact, I hope they are very uncomfortable in the afterlife.
Would you please be quiet? You were interesting to me after our initial greeting.
The helicopter is just this way. Arrive at your leisure.
The “Get to the Choppa” ones are the best
Yeah I liked mine, til I read this one! Sorry Doogie!
A game of baseball is not the most favorable time or place to cry.
I’m really, really, really sorry, and honestly, it’s not that big of a deal or anything, like maybe just get it out of your system, but, rules are rules are rules. Y’know, kiddo? So, the guys upstairs just wanted me to let you know that in baseball, it’s preferred that you refrain from crying. But seriously, I know you probably have some personal things going on and I think that sometimes it’s good to get a nice cry in. So, just get back to me about that whenever you can. I understand your issues.
Pray tell – can you please explain the contents of the cardboard square at your feet?
I’d really like my stapler back when you get a chance.
Warriors…come out and play, you guys.
My boy, i’ve lost track of my boy for a moment.
After strenuous analysis, I’ve concluded that while some places do mimic some of the positive qualities of my home, nothing is exactly similar. Just not exactly similar.
Leia: “I am very fond of you.”
Han: “Huh?”
They call me Mr. Tibbs, Tibby for short
While I would totally be up for making this more democratic, because I really do love you guys…for the position of Highlander, I think maybe it makes more sense for it to be just me. But like, maybe just on a trial run…
Why just provide her with some methaqualone or similar sedative and I’m quite sure she will be enraptured with me in the morn.
Yippee-ki-yay, you guys.
Let my people move
Could you kindly distract the female velociraptor that is enjoying that man’s leg for a meal?
What are the contents of that box?
Your mother is a “certified massage therapist” in hell, Karras. If you know what i mean… *wink*
Try to keep a lid on this whole Fight Club thing, k?
I should simply like to say that if we happen to, you know, be on the winning side this morning, then the Fourth of July might be celebrated more widely around the world. Because today is also the Fourth of July, as you know, and if we win, people will remember that. So the Fourth of July will be an American holiday, but also a day to remember that one time when a lot of us got together and said: “We would prefer not to die, you know? We would much rather not disappear, if that’s ok with you. It’s just that, you know, we like to be alive. So that’s just our two cents on the matter. How about some barbeque?”
I’m afraid of what might be in the box and I don’t want to look, so can you please just tell me instead?
Oops sorry, I didn’t see this before i posted a lamer version!
We’re on a mission from our chosen diety.
Hey guys, it me, Johnny. How is everything?
I thought I checked all the comments before I made a Johnny joke, but apparently there are three whole pages to go through! Sorry comment dopelganger.
Really, I think it’s better if I present you with a slightly altered version of events. The real story might not sit well with you.
Salutations Socialist Republic in Southeast Asia.
Would you mind very much telling me what the contents of the box are? I can’t see it from here.
Rocky: Adrian.
Adrian: Rocky.
you’re not my father. you are? oh, okay
Hmmmm….is that the liquid that causes cartoons to cease existing?
i’m too old for this stuff
I’m sufficiently irritated, such that I may not be able to abide this much longer.
A census taker once tried to test me. I ate him with some wine. Yum-O!
It’s very special because, as you can see, the numbers all go to 10.
lick a shot.
its like my mother has said on many occasions, a box of individual chocolates could very easily be a metaphor for how life is. there is a chocolate coating around each flavor so you do not know what is on the inside.
I’m located in a phone booth within walking distance from the zoo.
They may take our lives, but they’ll find our freedom harder to acquire, as it is more a concept than a tangible thing.
I beg to differ with the makers of South Park. I personally believe that red-haired people have souls after all.
(Who’s to say that’s not a “movie”?)
I am vexed that I must report for work on my day off.
Hey, HAL? Yeah, just whenever you get the chance, and no biggie, but do you think you could open the pod bay doors? But totally whenever it’s convenient. No rush. Thaaaaaaanks.
I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that. I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do. This mission –
Wait…fuck.
Fornicate with women of ill repute, gain sizable dowries.
I could go for a martini. And prepare it anyway you like.
Oh, hey guys. It’s me. Johnny.
These pretzels are making me thirsty.
To a really big number, and maybe even further than that, who knows?
I’m gonna make him a pretty good offer. I sure hope he doesn’t refuse it.
brb
I will do almost anything to get that precious ring back in my possession.
You have a milkshake. Can I maybe get a sip of that?
Houston, an issue has occurred.
Oh First Mate, My First Mate (Todd remains seated at his desk).
Mostly work and some play makes Jack a somewhat boring boy.
I’m afraid Dana isn’t in, however Zool is here. He can take a message for her if you like, but I’m not sure when she’ll be back
Coffee is available to those who exceed our predetermined sales goals.
Please do not put Baby in a corner.
Yes, I do believe that their lives deserved to end. And, I hope that they get uncomfortably warm in h e double hockey-sticks.
I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and, luckily, I always keep a lot of bubblegum on my person. Would like to share some? I only eat half a piece at a time.
I’m more than little upset and won’t be able to tolerate it any longer. Apologies.
Straight from the horse’s mouth.
Please return my son.
I respect your religious freedom, but please understand it may not be for other people, and I personally prefer the comforts of a blaster at my side.
After the fight, you MAY want to get a body bag to put the Italian fellow in, because I’m not sure he’s going to make it. Yeah.
Your best? That would be great!
Could I have a Martini, please? What’s that? Oh, shaken please. Well if you stir it, I would still drink it, but shaken is my preference.
If you make me an unrealistic promise that you will never die, I will have sexual intercourse in many different positions with you right now.
Gosh darn it, Kahn
A good supply of body bags…and anti bacterial lotion…and handiwipes, and maybe some chapstick. It’s best to plan ahead.
do you guys hear that? i think rufio is coming. yup, here he is.
“It might be a trap.”
I will fight for you, but I’ll probably loose interest or give up long before your heart stops beating.
Man, I’m just so sick of all these STAR WARS.
“Um, Wendy? When I’m typing and you come in and startle me, I kind of lose my train of thought. Thanks.” #jacktorranceshining
You apes are well, let’s just say we have different cleanliness standards where I’m from, and really darn you guys to someplace not very pleasant.
I probably could have been somebody with a nice job and a lovely family if things had played out right. Oh well.
Go at your own pace, Forrest. Go at your own pace.
I have to be honest, the smell of jellified petroleum just really rubs me the right way early in the day. You?
guys come on you know it makes me insecure whenever you say ‘mufasa’ around me.
i think there might be snakes on this plane we are on
im getting a little tired of these not so bad snakes on this quite nice plane
I have this thing, you know, where I see these people, but I’m not so sure they’re living anymore. It’s weird.
You know, I wouldn’t mind having a horse around now. I’ve got this kingdom, see, and if you could use it, I’d love to trade up with you on it.
The symptoms he’s exhibiting are inconsistent with those of a tumor.
PC Load Letter? Could anyone please clarify what that error message means?
My status as a foreign diplomat excuses me from some of the laws of your country. Sorry!
“Show of hands — who here remembers what happened at the Attica correctional facility?”
Please make your way to the helicopter, it’s just over there.
Whatsup Michael Jordan? Would you mind lending us a hand?
I’m so sorry, are you talking to me? Oh I thought you were talking to me. Are you talking to me? Oh.
stolen verbatim from polite taxi driver sketch in mitchell and webb
“Well, because I kind of have a thing for Justin Beiber. That’s all.”
Artax? You might want to start moving, I do believe you are starting to sink
I believe you are lying to me, as the idea that you are my father seems rather preposterous.
Jules: Does he look like a female dog?
Brett: No!
Jules: Then why you try to treat him in such a despicable manner, Brett?
Brett: I didn’t.
Jules: Yes you did. Yes you did, Brett. You tried to treat him in a despicable manner. And Marsellus Wallace don’t like to be treated that way by anyone, except perhaps, by his lovely wife Mrs. Wallace.
You could, if you wanted, check your eyes at the door, given where we’re going.
This is the worst new party game. Nearly 400 comments and not one of them is funny.
Bond…James Bond. But you can call me Snoogyboo.
I’m Mr. Tibbs. It’s a pleasure to meet you.
That knife may be smaller than mine, but that in no way invalidates its usefulness and you should in no way feel bad about bringing it. Would you like my wallet?
I’m kind of upset, and I’m not just going to sit around here, thats for sure.
excuse me, my name is ET and I would like to use this phone to call my parents. Please.
Please show some respect for my male genitalia and control the ladyplace. Thanks.