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Guys, I don’t want to blow anyone’s minds, or rock anyone’s boats, or shake anyone’s cores (nullus), but George W. Bush is a jerk. Like, even if you thought he was a good president (uh, what?) he is still a jerk. He is smarmy and arrogant and smug and self-satisfied and proudly ignorant. FACT. But if you don’t think he was a good president, then oh boy, look out. There is probably a whole laundry list of reasons that you don’t like this guy. My list starts with WARS and goes from there, all the way down to SNAKE LIPS. What I’m saying is that I haven’t exactly been on the fence with George W. Bush for awhile now. Oh, sure, I voted for him. We all did. And I campaigned heavily for him to receive an historic third term. Unfortunately, that was not in the cards. Just like how not being a jerk is not in the cards for George W. Bush. No duh.
And today, in George W. Bush Is A Jerk News, there is a video circulating of him shaking hands with people in Haiti and WIPING HIS HAND ON BILL CLINTON’S SHIRT.
That seems about right. FILE UNDER: yup. (Via HuffingtonPost.)
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How was this man president twice?
Cute story….
Chareth CuteStory?
All the upvotes for you!
He is not wiping his hand on his shirt, he is giving Bill Clinton an affectionate pat. You liberals are terrible
I know what you’re trying to do Steve, and it won’t work. Upvotes FOREVER!
If he wasn’t wiping his hand off, that wasn’t an affectionate pat. That was a sensual stroke.
Sensual seduction
Snake lips! That is eerily accurate.
Agreed. I dont remember ever hearing that before.
I’ve always said “cocksucker mouth.”
What?? I’m allowed to say cocksucker mouth, because I’m David Mamet. No just kidding, because I’m gay. (We’re all gay here, right?)
You’re just saying that so you won’t get carted off to Mr. Hausfrau’s reassignment/labor camps for “straighties.” We’re on to you, pal.
Hee hee oh meaverly, you are the living END!
[VOICE OVER: Oh God they're onto me. Time to leave more comments in the Taylor Lautner thread]
i never thought that it’d be hard to cull the straighties….maybe we should have put something on the census.
That’s not cocksucker mouth…I don’t know if I can explain what cocksucker mouth looks like, but i know what it’s not and it is not G.W. maybe i need to find a picture….
hmm…i’m finding a lot of pictures of people actually sucking cock but no…no cock sucker mouths….hmm… and also: three at a time? how did you even get the camera in there? gross internet. that lady doesn’t even look like she enjoys it…
Ok. Jason S. from Nebraska. HE had cocksucker mouth. …but he’d been doing it for 15 years….huh…here’s a link…probably not safe for anyone, but a good definition:
http://www.alexaltomonte.com/2009/01/cocksucker-mouth.html
there’s a picture of Courtney Love with mouth herpes….and Lisa Rinna…THAT’S what i’d call cocksucker mouth…kind of…floppy.
The link boils it down to this:
God made their teeth a little more like a garage door opening, and their lips more like vagina’s
Why are we talking about this?
Snake lips = no upper lip…which bush has….though I think he also has a monkey face…but mostly when…he talks…
….
The End.
Yup.
“I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully. Which is why I encourage the flooding of non-Western countries”
- George W. Bush (the “W” stands for WJerk)
“Barney is my dog.” – George W. Bush’s tombstone
I at least have the tact to use hand sanitizer once the person has turned around.
Does that mean you use the hand sanitizer on their butts?
That was the most single-longest hand wipe I’ve ever seen.
Usually Bill Clinton is the one leaving stains on other people’s clothes. –Jay Leno
I want to congratulate you on your winnings.
I bet that Haitian gave him the ol’ stink palm. They’re big Mallrats fans in Haiti.
Relax everyone! George Dubya was just bestowing immortality upon Bill Clinton. Bill won’t regret it for at least 140 years.
In all fairness, I would wipe my hand on someone nearby if I had to shake W’s hand.
Clinton: “George, if you happen to shake hands with anyone especially ugly or poor looking, feel free to wipe your hand off on my shirt.”
George: “Oh no! I couldn’t impose on you like that! I’m the Decider not the Wiper!”
Clinton: “Really, no biggie. You know as well as i do that i have many shirts.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hhMn3WINx8&feature=related
“He seems like the unpopular kid at high school, that nobody liked”- CNN.
ACK I did not expect to see Rick Sanchez when I clicked on that link. A RickSanchezRoll is the WORST POSSIBLE RickRoll.
Actually, I believe a RickDirtySanchezRoll would be the WORST POSSIBLE RickRoll.
I apologize ahead of time for my terrible joke.
Circle circle dot dot now I’ve got the cootie shot.
Come on, George. Bill’s great, but he’s not Purell.
KANYE WAS RIGHT.
Related: Mike Myers still feels really REALLY uncomfortable.
“yo yo yo, G-Dub – you did great and all, and i’m'a let you finish, but Warren G. Harding had the one of the worst presidencies of all time.. OF ALL TIME.”
what you didn’t see was the Haitian wiping HIS hand on the guy next to him and saying, “ew gross” (in haitian).
In Haitian “ew gross” translates to “Mission Accomplished”
To be fair…he was shaking this guy’s hand…
It’s a pizza monster?! Is this a reference I’m not getting? I see peperoni in there. Go Pizza Monster, Go!
It’s Pizza the Hut from Spaceballs
It’s Pizza the Hut, silly! To be fair, you’re just a Spaceprophet, not a Spaceballsprophet.
Uh-doy, Spaceprophet! watch a Mel Brooks movie sometime (find a better Mel Brooks movie). Might I recommend High Anxiety?
You guys are being really insensitive. I’ve told you all I was trapped under a rock for the last 20 years.
White rock or black rock? Because that MEANS something!
Wait, is this not the Lost thread?
not trying to be Dr. Jerk here (trying to be Dr. Jerk here), but spaceballs was released more than 20 years ago, so that’s not excuse
also, related, spaceballs was released more than 20 years ago? WTF? it feels like yesterday! why did you people let that happen?
What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?! Now, sir. You’re looking at now. WHatever is happening now is happening now. What happened to then? We passed it. When? Just now. We’re at now now. Go back to then. When? Now! Now? NOW!!! We can’t. Why? We missed it it. When? Just now.
Yup. Memorized. You’re welcome.
Honestly, if I didn’t already know this was an image of Pizza the Hut, I would never guess something like “pizza monster” because I wouldn’t eat a pizza that looked like that. So good guess, Spaceprophet. “Fever Ray” would have been another good guess.
Woo hoo! My first post here is to also acknowledge my recognition of Pizza the Hutt from the Mel Brooks classic ‘Spaceballs’. Hooray for me?
Welcome! Now that you’ve broken the ice, let the comments flooooowwwww!
I think your avatar is a true keeper.
Yes, I would have guessed Cinnabon Monster.
I wouldn’t have posted this if I knew it was going to tear everyone apart!
He’s doing a heck of a job.
Maybe the culture he comes from that’s a sign of affection.
This is strange. I’ve long since given up on hating George W. Bush. I mean, that kind of went out of fashion around January ’05. I can still recognize that the guy is some sort of horrible (possibly garbage) monster conceived in the minds of the secret old monied oligarchy that really runs America; sent to us from Texas via Connecticut disguised as some sort of folksy populace coke head that just loves a good time, god, and pussy in that order so that he could destroy the non gun owning personal freedoms that make our country kind of great while at the same time spreading fear throughout the nation and the world in an attempt to bring about a neo-conservative world order. I realize he doesn’t care about black people and might actually just want to eradicate all those that do not follow Christ but at the same time the guy is presumably still a human, afterall. And no human would do this, right? We’re missing something here, right? He is not wiping the poor black people sweat from his palm on to the $300 shirt of noted philanderer and Big Mac aficionado Bill Clinton. Is he? This seriously blows my mind. Why the fuck was he in Haiti in the first place? Leave Haiti alone, monster!
So here is my theory: Amongst the ruckus, George and Bill suddenly found themselves in the midst of a big game of seagulling. This video was taken moments before Bill realized what was going on and George was just having a laugh at his expense b/c Democrats and Republicans, you know.
Even though I dislike George Bush with every fiber of my gay liberal godless hippy being, I’m trying to judge him for the better, because I like to believe that human beings are basically good.
It reminds me of the conversation I used to have with my dad [who probably hates George Bush more than any other person on the planet] if Bush is too dumb to be evil or too evil to be dumb. Like, if he’s really just a bad person, does that mean that his dumb folksy bullshit is just bullshit? And if he really is that much of an idiot, does that mean that he’s too stupid to know that what he’s doing is horrible?
We would argue over it back and forth until eventually my dad went off to read a book about how much Bush sucked and I would fall asleep in a ball and dream of a world in which the government was not run by evil monkeys.
“I like to believe that human beings are basically good.”
You have so much to learn.
BUT when you expect the worst of people you get the worst. I don’t think there is anything wrong with believing that people are “basically good” because all people are capable of good.
It’s really wishful thinking, That One. I know everything is terrible, I just find it comforting to close my eyes and wish away all the jerks, because really what else can one done.
*sent to us from connecticut via texas.
I think I can speak for Texans when I say we hold no claim on him.
-nursegoreCab
You should see where he tried to rub his hand BEFORE they got out of the car. I’m referencing Clinton’s genitals. W was going for the bulldog face of interest.
Is that Paul Rudd? I hope that’s Paul Rudd.
It’s morbidly fascinating that it took this idiot’s bizarre faux pas to return our attention to the plight of Haiti.
I mean, on the one hand, you could argue that Bush is a real hero for doing this. On the other hand, you couldn’t argue that at all, dickhole.
it turns george bush doesn’t care for shaking hands with black people either.
Just Like that ole GW, wipin the mess off on someone else’s Shirt. If you look at Obama’s back, His Big Old Handprint* is on there, still waitin to be cleaned.
*Iraq, Afghanistan, Economy, Etc.
Metaphors! You should totally write for Lost.
new orleans, the patriot act, guantanamo bay, etc…
In his defense that hand was probably yucky.
add germaphobe to the already long and uncomplimentary list of things george bush is.
Remember when Kanye West was all “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” and all of us were like “Oh Kanye, don’t be ridiculous, United States Presidents aren’t racist!”?
I for one think we all owe Mr. West an apology.
Thank you for letting us see the most hilarious footage we should have seen over nine years ago, thank the internet and “insert your own political agenda”gum for seeing the true side of a guy that was our president for 8 years. No Opiniongum
It’s one thing to shake hands with a Haitian and then wipe your hand off on YOURSELF. That’s pretty shitty. But his pants were too good for wiping his own hand. SO HE USED BILL CLINTON. Are we sure this isn’t an Onion article?
A sex maniac like Clinton should be good for something. You can’t trust your under aged Nisse with him, Where is Monica ? Bush needed to clean the shxt off his hands. He feels bad about taking the peoples property at Arlington, Tx. to build a ball park. No one ever talks about the Haitian’s brutal murder of the entire white population about 1900. Probably would be racist.