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Forget Juggalo News, my ninjas. If you really want to know what is going on with the Insane Clown Posse and their pals, go straight to the source, with Hatchet Happenings, a new monthly (MONTHLY!) YouTube ICP-related news program, featuring the ones and onlys Sugar Slam and DJ Clay. The feeling of discovering that this is going to happen every month is unapproachable, you guys. Headphones UP.
I really appreciate the Hatchet Happenings Promise to always be on time, every month. When you have a monthly 12-minute Internet news program about nightmare-rap, it is super important to be on time. (Huh?) Honestly, I wish this was its own cable network. Not only could I watch this for hours, but I would really like to hear what Sugar Slam thinks about yesterday’s historic passage of Obama’s health care reform reform bill. Hopefully she’ll talk about it in two weeks, but I’m worried it will just get lost amidst the Kung Fu Vampire news.
WHAT DO WE WANT? A 24-HOUR UN-SELF-AWARE JUGGALO CABLE NEWS NETWORK! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? RAPE! (Thanks for the tip, Kim.)
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I hope health care reform will help me with my billz and shit when I get a baby juggalo all up in my neden hole.
At the very least, when it gets dropped, it will saw some heads in half, guaranteed!!
Do juggalos lactate Faygo?
I think what is most interesting about this video stylistically is its use of the slaughterhouse setting, recalling the early Soviet film of Sergei Eisenstein, juxtaposing the cows being butchered in the slaughterhouse with the army butchering the striking proletariat, to represent their own music revolution. Good use of film history, juggalos!
“coming to you live from a burned down carnival, now let’s look at the balls on my boombox”
A boombox is not a toy!
While we fought and bickered amongst ourselves this weekend, our enemies plotted their devious cultural advancements.
Well played, Juggalos. You are worthy foes.
Your comment reminded me of this Kids in the Hall sketch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVhvZUGbd3Q
Thanks for that!
I like how he is trying to be all street (or whatever the kidz say) and Juggalo while wearing a hat that makes him look like Beethoven the dog incarnate.
“I can’t wait to see that bitch”- what all the American’s are saying about universal healthcare. AMIRITE? Congrats guys!
Kung-Fu Vampire? Kung-Fu Vampire!? I that they “don’t know much about ‘em” but have file footage or whatever of them sulking around in some sort of warehouse dungeon inexplicably full of black chicks.
I think we was just hearing about them Blowin up the Bay area and defending the horrorcore genre from those that would hate and misunderstand, not 6 months ago. Juggalo’s promote their heroes quickly.
Found that file footage and it’s in HD bitches!!!
This is truly stuff nightmares are made of.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3SP3HMSntA
“You might know me from WFuck Off radio…”
Taking one for the team: listen to 12 hours of WFuck Off radio? I was going to say 24, but that might count as torture.
Does this mean i have to spend 12 minutes a month not listening to WFuckOff Radio?
Insane Clown Posse Tour Dates:
5/09 – Memphis, TN
5/10 – Dallas, TX
5/13 – Louisville, KY
5/14 – Milwaukee, WI
5/16 – Columbus, OH
5/19 – Philadelphia, PA
5/20 – Baltimore, MD
5/21 & 5/22- Worcester, MA
5/26 – Minneapolis, MN
5/27 – Council Bluffs, IA
5/29 – Bonner Springs, KS
5/31 – Morrison, CO
6/01 – Magna, UT
6/03 – Spokane, WA
6/07 – Anaheim, CA
cause, well I know we all can’t get to the VG B-Day party, but this is most definitely the next best thing.
Shockingly, ICP ignored Detroit (a city that is incredibly proud of producing them).
Two dates in Worcester. That is one ugly town. Don’t you just hate Worcester, guys?
It’s the Worstester.
*jumps out window*
worcester is a nightmare except for all of the polar orange dry. and happy birthday mike leslie. but other than those two things, yes.
Polar orange dry is pretty great, but there are plenty of towns in Mass where you can get orange dry without also contracting hepatitis. My brother is probably going to be at both of these shows. I hate that I’ve been reminded of the existence of the Westboro “Baptist” “Church” and Worcester in the same morning. It’s a good thing it’s my day off, because I am going to end up drunk soon.
thats true, but the other towns dont have a cheery inflatable polar bear to pass by on your way to the fancier movie theater.
Bonner Springs is near me! It’s where they host the Renaissance Fair! I only went once but I remember it’s a pretty wooded area…near a river… sounds like a great place for raping! Good pick!
I think they just picked it so that they could yell “BONER SPRINGS!” during on-stage banter.
Yes…they also have a heritage festival called Tiblow days. I mean, Tiblow Boner?
but i’m sure it’ nice.
Boy, wouldn’t it be awkward if you got the dates of the Ren Faire and the ICP concert mixed up? Your face sure would be red if you showed up to Haunted Slaughterhouse or whatever in an embarrassing costume!
the most important thing about this tour is the powerhouse of supporting acts – Kottonmouth Kings, Kittie, Necro, and this guy:
Coolio played a block party in my town last summer as the last-minute replacement for the act that cancelled that morning: Tone Loc.
I really wanted to see Tone Loc.
Kittie still exists? Is it really that easy to make a living in music?
you mean this guy:
I no knows how to make images work.
I’d like to see the How’s Your News crew interview “artists” on the Psychopathic Records label.
“What the Fucks Up with Upchuck” is a clearly Hatchet Happenings tribute to “Whats Up with Topher Grace”
WHY DOES THAT CARTOON BOOMBOX HAVE BALLS?
Because Sugar Slam likes to surprise muhfuckas every once in a while.
Trampoline accidents are to monsters as nutsacks are to juggalos. Basically, you add a nutsack to anything and it’s instant comedy. The funniest thing a juggalo could ever see would be a nutsack with it’s own nutsack. They haven’t figured it out yet, but when they do, it’s going to be like Monty Python’s the funniest joke in the world for ninjas *crosses fingers*
How can you guys be a credible news source when you report on a band called Kung-Fu Vampire and haven’t done your research on who they are?
Step your journalistic integrity up, my ninjaz.
All the news that’s fit to rape.
On topic: Mystikal was imprisoned for rape in 2004.
he just got out!
shake ya ass
watch yourself
shake ya ass
i dont care bout your consent
but he’s out now!
i’m just waitin’ for his comeback album.
People who have nothing to say just curse a lot.
My favorite part (I’m not hard to please) was that when he announced their dedication to bringing the “freshest happenings”, the editor decided to use his iMovie old timey film filter.
I imagine that, when working with Juggalos, any actual, real ‘freshness’ is indeed unexpected and unusual.
Damn it you beat me to it
Jamie Madrox the MULTIPLE MAN???
Probably not the main Multiple Man. I’d guess it is one of his rogue duplicates whose personality differences made him really want to bring the wicked shit.
I thought the same thing. So this is what he does on his downtime from X Factor?
BTW – I love your Mr. Miracle drawing (and yes, I trolled your website.)
Thanks! Troll away! I really don’t mind!
At least he didn’t name himself Guido Carosella.
Also, did he just say (unironically) “The hottest show on internet!”
Also also I laughed at the rape comment by Gabe, but then watching it all the way through, the excitement over rapist Mystikal and his ICP shoutout and hoping to get him at the gathering was gross. Basically, Mystikal is their Roman Polanski.
i prefer to think of roman polanski as our mystikal
Whats a Juggalo? What is this place? Are those my feet? Wait! I think the reset button worked TOO WELL aieeeeeeeee…
Am I the only one who will be unironically watching this (on time) each month?
i will be right there with you. it’s like a train wreck, you want to turn away but there is the chance to see some real carnage so you might as well slow your car down and ask the cop maintaining the order what happened.
The second month’s episode is already out! They really weren’t lying about being on time! I know what I’ll be doing tonight. And then I’ll watch them again with the Transcribe Audio on for more laffs!
I wish my girlfriend surprised my motherfuckin’ ass every now and then.
If you’re having clown problems, I feel bad for you, son.
I’ve got 99 problems, but a juggalo ain’t one.
The funny thing is, this seems more like a parody than the Juggalo News video ever did.
i like the way the cursing seems forced. usually when people curse, there is feeling behind it. teleprompter cursing.
Hold the phone: Many cool bands for only 10 muhfuckin’ dollars? The ROOF DISINTEGRATES?!? DJ F-(ulf)-illin my wildest dreams!
I spy a boobie in that slaughterhouse.
This is one of the things I like about the internet. That this exists, and I can see it.
The Juggalos were funny to a point, but repeated exposure to Juggalo-related cultural products — while not exactly making me sympathetic to the Juggalo lifestyle — has made them considerably less funny. Have Juggalo jokes jumped the Mwafukken Shaggy 2-Shark? See!?!?
The more I see ‘em, the more they seem like regular dudes who dress up like clowns and take nitrous and say fuck a lot. Yawn city.
Downvote away! Reformers are never popular.
I call shenanigans. The host pronounced nuclear correctly (near the end). If a Juggalo can sound smarter than our last president (and Jack Bauer), what kind of world do we live in? Consider my mind blown.
Also, where can I get a copy of this so-called Juggalo map?
I’m just surprised the call-letters WFuckoff were still available.
Does this mean we get to see more Jenny Slate on SNL?
good to see they put sugar slam where she belongs. #shauvenistgum
i feel so behind. i miss you my ninjas..
It’s your boy Little Fuckin’ Danzig here with a nugget of totally unexpected FRESHNESS. I know some of ya’ll out there ain’t know what to expect when ninjas get FRESH but I finna tell all ya’ll how the wikkid clowns get down when it comes to BRINGIN THAT FRESH SHIT LIVE TO YOUR DOME.
Look, any redneck chicken can come with some predictable FRESHNESS that’s just copied off a video or whatever but real clowns know that true FRESHNESS comes from the soul. I got this ninja called Chewface Da Infekted and that dude is straight ill on the mic, just rappin’ bout clowns and clown shit on the daily, he go and go, ya’ll can’t fuck with it. But, like, what really makes Chewface FRESH is his unpredictability. Sometimes, he’ll be rhymin and shit and just drop his drawers like “WHOA” and next thing ya know he is all swingin’ his junk around, doin’ mad helicopters and shit, just not giving a fuck at all. Sometimes he’ll be kickin’ some lines and shit and suddenly, the next thing you know, he’s playin’ some ill-as-fuck guitar solo on his custom Pyschopathic Records B.C. Rich. That dude is the realness, ya know? All cuz his FRESHNESS is totally fuckin’ unexpected.
Ya’ll ever seen a movie where there is this old white granny just chillin’ out? But next thing you know,
“Rapper’s Delight” comes on the radio and she is up there straight KILLIN IT with rhymes and doin’ some breakdancing moves and shit? Just stop and think about how much fuckin’ cooler that is than when some dude comes with some trite and predictable FRESHNESS that you totally expect, like a dude with a “HIP HOP SAVED MY LIFE” t-shirt that also raps. Big fuckin’ deal, dickfuck. Try that shit with a straight-up Star Wars shirt or something on instead and I’ll be impressed. That’s the straight-up power of UNEXPECTED FRESHNESS.
Ayight ya’ll, I’ll catch you faggoty-ass faggots on the flipside, bitches. Keep it fresh. Keep it UNEXPECTED.
Way to go, my ninja. You should write for da moviez and shit.
Am I the only one who hears “Upchuck Dick Mouth” instead of “Upchuck the Clown” at the beginning?
What do you suppose are the differences between Oddities and Sideshow Freaks?
“Saweeeeeeet!”
He can’t say that shit without laughing? No one can watch this shit without laughing.