Obviously. But that hasn’t stopped some coconuts from making a Facebook fan page wishing it to be true. Internet, you’re vampiring me apart!

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Obviously. But that hasn’t stopped some coconuts from making a Facebook fan page wishing it to be true. Internet, you’re vampiring me apart!
Imagine Tommy’s version of the baseball scene … the vampires could all be standing around, about 2 feet apart and tossing the ball around. And sparkling.
I don’t remember Esme Cullen announcing she had breast cancer and it never being addressed again
Studio Execs are now in talks with David Lynch to direct, but there is some hold-up on his insistence that Bella give birth to a terrifyingly deformed baby.
The list of directors who they are asking to direct the upcoming Twilight films is nearly that ridiculous: http://www.pajiba.com/trade_news/breaking-dawn-offered-to-oscar-winners.php
Instead, he will be directing the next installment of the Avatar-trilogy
“Ney’Teri! You’re tearing me apart! “
Tommy Wiseau: “Bellaaaa, I laaahve you, I diiiiid naaaat doooo thaaaat – Oh, hi, Mike.” Tosses his hair around, squints thoughtfully.
“I used to know a girl. She had two guys. One beat her up so bad, she ended up loving him forever and turning into a vampire in a hospital on Guerrero street.”
Maybe Edward could unwind with a nice Blotchka (of course, that’s the traditional half scotch, half vodka, with a tasty dash of blood).
Everyone knows teenage girls are noted irony connoisseurs, what 17 year old girl doesn’t have a Birdemic poster in their room?
Just imagining this is like looking god directly in the eye and him/her/it winking back at you.
I wish he would, if only to bring needed coherence to this mess of a story
Who knows, you know? Who knows anymore? I am going to question the editorial policy of Duh Aficionado, because I now live in a world where hilariously terrible things happen ALL THE TIME. Is a Tommy Wiseau-directed Twilight movie really that much more unbelievable than a U2-penned rock musical about Spiderman called “Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark”? At least ONE OF THOSE THINGS is actually occurring.
Guess what, guys. Katy Perry will be playing Smurfette in the upcoming live-action Smurf movie. You have no idea if I’m lying or not.
Even more crazy?
“Quentin Tarantino may not have won an Oscar last Sunday, but according to IGN, he won a role in Raja Gosnell’s live-action movie The Smurfs instead”.
Worlds be colliding! (Also, IMDB taught me he played an Elvis imporsonator in an episode of the Golden Girls. I have to go and gif the hell out of that!)
It’s his only role that does not involve a foot fetish.
Hopefully.
Twilight: Breaking Benjamin Button
“Oh, hi vampire.”