Photos
Featuring Kellan Lutz (Twilight) and Mechad Brooks (True Blood), for anyone who wants to be half-vampire half-A**HOLE:
Gross, Eggs. Gross, Emmett Cullen. Gross, other dudes. Gross, anyone who buys this underwear. “Calvin Klein X: Wear It Under Your Jumpsuit on the Bus to Jail.” (Via Vulture.)
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Goddammit, I wanna punch so many people right now.
I wanna fXXXin pee an X in some fXXXin snow right now and there ain’t no FxxxIN SNOW!!!
TO BE FAIR, those men have really good bodies. I’m just being fair here.
yeah, and i was like, OH I CAN’T WAIT TO WATCH THIS BECAUSE PRETTY BOYS! but seriously, they are douchebags. Beauty is from within, assholes.
….not within assholes. You all saw the comma right? I mean, no one wants to see your shit, Eggs. lolamirite? *gross*
Me too! I was all “Gabe doesn’t understand because heterosexuality” and then I watched it and Ewwwww I do not want to see these guys’ *beep*.
i was totally prepared to view this commercial and feel like these men were being exploited for the benefits of my fantasies, but instead they managed to make me feel sexually harassed. that’s a major feat.
I was like oh yea their bodies are nice but that quickly faded into me being uncomfortable and not in the er “good” way.
I found the trick to be able to enjoy this commercial! Just watch it on mute. You get all of the beautiful physique and none of the rape-iness. Enjoy!
ISn’t that just the problem with superflously attractive people? If only there were a mute button on LIFE! Right? Carrie Parjean knows what I’m talking about:
(asshole)
i’m sorry, that was supposed to say: asssssssssshooooooo-le
Carrie Prejean doesn’t need a mute button. She needs a delete button.
You’re all right. Especially those of you not speaking up who think it should have just been Kellan Lutz in the commercial…
But yes. Something about it was really kind of weirdly violent. Also, nobody likes a tease!
Oh dear… Racismgum. Downvote away.
So you want to see their d*cks?
Is it wrong that when the last guy says the last thing, I imagine him talking to Oliver Twist?
OMBeepingG Shut the beep up!
Just a word of advice: Don’t let any of those dudes sit on your couch. They are all very greasy. They will definitely leave a stain.
Learned that the hard way?
Who knew you could be so sweaty just wearing underwear? I know some people have overactive sweat glands, but this is ridiculous.
Wearing underwear is hard work!
So are you taking over Bill’s No-Spin zone (now that the feud is over he can retire now, right?)? Will you call it the no-fly zone?
I’m no expert on reading past these red x’s and beep noises, but it almost seems like Emmett and Eggs are asking if we want to see their shit, which takes this commercial to nightmare places.
Eggs just wants to know if you want to see his eggs.
Shiny, chicken fat abs!
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This comment makes me angrier than the ad.
I wanna see this same commercial, but featuring only Kevin Smith.
Does Calvin Klein make junderwear?
High five.
Who would buy this underwear? Men go years without buying new underwear. So it is either women buying for men or gay men buying it for themselves. Plus, I wouldn’t want to wear underwear that looks like something a weird European would wear to the public pool.
Shouldn’t the “I’ll show you my dick if you show me yours” tell you exactly who they’re trying to appeal to?
Ladies wearing fake penises is the answer to that question, by the way.
I’m pretty sure, somewhere, I read that far more women buy men’s underwear (for their men – ugh.) than men buy their own underwear? so, hence the gay/lady appeal of men’s underwear ads – with the exception of anything starring michael jordan.
You wanna see my s***? Don’t worry, I always leave some poop in my Calvins.
Is this a Calvin Klein commercial or Lil Wayne’s grammy performance?
Is there an unedited version of this?
Speaking as a lady who while usually attracted to gentlemen finds that shiny, super-exercised, super-dehydrated, super-sculpted dude-physique totally Xing repulsive, this commercial makes my lady-thighs slam shut. Get away from me with your pervy veiny torsos, you creeps.
Extreme vanity (to the degree suggested by these dudes’ muscularity and greasiness) is ALWAYS a turn off, in males or females. You don’t have to pretend like looks–your own or other people’s–don’t matter to you; but if you spend that much of your day/life perfecting your physical form, I can’t see how you could have enough time for more interesting stuff.
That is most definitely part of the mega-barf turn-off.
I have never been attracted to the sinewy muscular v-torsoed type. I wonder if that’s why. I like a big sturdy guy, masculine looking, but to me–the above is NOT masculine. It’s something else, not found in nature.
Agreed. There’s a definite, clearly drawn line between caring about your health (and to a certain extent, your appearance) and the rampant narcissism that comes from always wanting to look better. To me, this commercial embodies everything I hate about self-obsessed, glamour-muscle gym rats. It’s The Situation at a club minus irony, humor, or schadenfreude.
Granted, it’s a model’s job to look as “good” as possible, but that’ a chicken/egg situation.
Yeah, I sort of think “full body waxing” is some sort of cut off point.
Could not agree more.
Also, HIDEOUS underwear, such a turn-off. Theres nothing wrong with a man taking pride in his appearance but they scream vanity and arrogance, UGH
Why are they so mad at me?
So when they say mark your spot, are they encouraging men to like, pee on a fire hydrant or their favorite tree? Those underwear are gross. Men’s Calvin Klein underwear is on par with Ed Hardy t-shirts.
are on par? I’ve even up on grammar today.
Is your avatar Clarissa Explains It All’s brother, Ferg-Face?
Yes it is.
given….FML.
No, CML. Celebrate my life!
Yuck. I just hope they don’t make a lady version of this, because I don’t want to have to stop buying Calvin Klein’s super comfortable Xing tights.
“I’ll show you my d*ck if you show me yours.” –Egg’s tombstone.
Eggs?
Fill me in people!
TWSS
The name of the guy’s character on True Blood was Eggs. As if the show wasn’t ridiculous enough.
Also this commercial would be so much better (and accurate) if they were saying “Want me to XXing rape you? Cos I XXing will, I’m clearly the kind of dude who would XX a girl against her will.”
They probably drive Dodge Chargers.
This comment is one of those situations in which I wish I had a million upvotes all for you.
Yuckygum.
This was the comedy of the year for me. I laughed my fxxking head off
Doughyphysicgum
Abundance of Crisco
Embarrassing…
I’m glad to see the Ying Yang Twins have begun their commercial-writing career.
Do I want to see their what?
I never heard what they were asking.
This is the way fights start at frat parties.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhpOsbVVjNs
Too veiny for me
right now i am in the back of a lecture hall learning about the difference between rabbinical judaism and biblical judaism. this renders it impossible for me to hear this video. from my point of view this video is a+.
Your Sacrilegious Ass was the 69th comment. Just thought you’d like to know that.
I can’t get past :17 and now I feel like I need a bleach bath and PTSD counselling. ick.
ugh, i used to like verdasco. rafa would never agree to this shit.
This the Bobby Bottleservice audition, yes?
We should all spend more time watching high-quality commercials. Like this one for a strip club in Van Nuys: http://bit.ly/cTphJO
Now that’s quality.
Because nothing says mature adult mature man like marking your dick. Since when has machismo become things you do when you’re 8? Oh right, since ever.
Is this a real ad? Or is this a video The Lonely Island made as a sequal to the Bing Bong Brothers’ song?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4iiyRv_NrQ
Also, I see that Gwyneth Paltrow has shared her shiny-legs secret with the people at Calvin Klein. I guess her Miracle Leg Shine is now for torsos too.