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Sarah Palin is pitching a reality TV show, because of course Sarah Palin is pitching a reality TV show. From Entertainment Weekly:
Multiple sources confirm that Palin and uber-reality show producer Mark Burnett have been making the rounds in Hollywood this week to pitch a TV docudrama about Alaska. One source called it a “planet-Earth type look” at Palin’s home state. The former candidate for the vice presidency was seen leaving ABC today with Burnett, and an insider confirmed that she met with reality topper Mike Darnell yesterday at Fox (where she and her family ended the day by visiting American Idol. Palin stayed in the green room). She also stopped by CBS today and plans to meet with NBC Universal TV Chairman Jeff Gaspin tomorrow.
What a serious person with a lot of interesting ideas who is working hard to make the world a better place. Did you hear that she was at an Oscar gifting suite yesterday? An Oscar gifting suite! It just makes sense! What a piece of shit. Just literally one of the worst people out there. I don’t wish harm against people, but I hope she gets hit by a snowmobile. Not fatally, just, like, enough to make her seriously reconsider her priorities. She will just have a tiny scar under her clothing that no one can even see, but every day that scar will remind her how grateful she is that her near-fatal-but-not-at-all-fatal snowmobile accident opened her eyes to the selfishness, egomaniacal, and boldly ignorant ways in which she was living her life. Or maybe it should just be fatal. HARD TO KNOW.
Anyway, let’s make up stupid names for her stupid reality show. Here’s one: Sarah Palin Stinks: Alaska! Very clever name. Cool show.
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Flyover Country with Sarah Palin
Alright then, what about Flava of Moose
Alaska: We Can See Russia From Our House
or rather “Palin: they can see her house from russia”
Sara Painful n’ Terrible?
If this is a Sarah, Plain and Tall reference, I will upvote you forever.
Big Bother (crickets)
Survivor Alaska: Palin vs. a Pack of Rabid Wolves and Bears
Survivor Alaska: Palin vs. a Pack of Rabid Wolves and Bears that are in helicopters with rifles!
Nobody make the “right to arm bears” joke.
Nobody.
can i make the “bear’s right to Sarah Palin’s arms” joke?
Whoa. Totally. That’s worth an upvote.
“As a freedom-lovin’ American, I’m just not gonna let some big ole socialist wolves come in and try n’ take away my rights to- OH MY GOD THE WOLVES THEY’RE EATING MY FACE!!!!!!!!”
Yup. I would watch that.
The Sarah Appalling Show
Palin’ It Down: Alaska Style
Everybody Loves Sarah, Don’t Juneau?
Apparently everybody also loves puns.
Sarah Palin: The Deadliest President
The new nightmare.
Palin’ Around: Idiot School
The Maverick Pit Bull In Lipstick
sorry guys Jay Leno’s writers hijacked my account for a second
Juneau Shore
(I Can See Russia From the) Alaska Shore
The Real Assholes of Wasilla
The Leno-Palin Ten PM Variety Hour Spectacular
Alternatively, Sarah Palin: Real Life Coen Brothers Character
Is Sarah Palin Smarter than a Fifth Grader? (Spoiler Alert: No)
Planet Earth: Palin (but just show the same episode where they found that underground 3-mile high pile of bat shit)
Places Oil Drills Should Go
Also, “Nature: Nature’s Nature”
Sarah Palin’s “I’m Stupid and Here’s a Tree.” I’ll limit myself to 3 of these very fun things to do.
more plz! do not stop the funny!
HAHAHAHA Oh my god. I would watch the fuck out of that show. It sounds like an Adult Swim cartoon.
You Betcha of Love
Attempts to stay relevant with Sarah Palin!
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…Who’s Nailin’ Palin
Project Runaway (from your legitimate professional duties)
Bitch took 40 pairs of headphones?! (That’s not a suggested title.)
I have no suggestions, but I am worried by the fact that Sarah Palin visited American Idol.
Awfuls been had colliding!
Son of a Governor, that was my plan.
*tips hat*
PLEASE do not bring that 4Chan shit in here. Thank you.
Sigourney Weaver talks about the plight of Grizzly Bears while Sarah Palin has 60 minutes to gun down as many as she can Of Love
GB>AC>Sarah Palin
An Hour of Winks With Our Quitting Former Governor
Head of Skate?
Deja Vu: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8c9kbDfyMLg
“The Let’s Shoot Animals From Airplanes And Make Up Folksy Sayings and PS I Am Horrible Show”
Keeping up with the Kardashians and Also Sarah Palin
Bitches Gotta Eat
Northern Exposure
Let’s face it, there’s not going to be any clever title. It’s just going to be called The Sarah Palin Show: Eat it up fuckers.
Can I see Russia from Outer Space?
(Hey, I can dream, can’t I?)
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Seth MacFarlane?
I bet you would have gotten more upvotes if it were animated.
absolutely. “If Its Not a .gif We Could Give a Shit” -the monsters’ slogan
You can be downvoted into oblivion?
To Quote Dafs from a previous Palin Article:
I would never call Sarah Palin a retard
because every retarded person I’ve ever met
has been a perfectly decent human being.
A Bad Disney Show.
Fuck You, America! (but throw some spelling errors in there somewhere)
Drill Baby Drill
God what is it with you, Ross and Krull all submitting the titles of Palin-themed pornos!
Sarah Palin’s Faked Alaska
I don’t have a title, but I’ll just note that the story to accompany the headline “Sarah Palin Pitches Reality Show” could be much, much worse. So at least there’s that.
The Biggest Iglooser
And here I was thinking it was too bad The Biggest Loser was already take. Way to take it to the next level!
I keep trying to think of something with “16 and pregnant” but all my brain can come up with is
Sarah, Palin Tall
Northern Overexposure
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Dumber in Alaska
I think Palin’s hopes for this show are:
- jumpstart energy projects
-lift American spirits
-pull a decent number in the 18-49 demographic
-budget cuts
tax
Whoops. I meant to strike “budget”. Feel free to downvote.
“Lunch Palin and Thermos-t beautiful state in the Union: ALASKA!”
The Palin-chelorette
“So, are you gonna be acceptin’ this rose and stuff?” *wink*
Alaska, the State that pulled the most elaborate practical joke on America EVER! (right Alaska? Right?! please say it’s all just a joke that you guys took WAY too far)
Shucks, You got us! Still, it was hilarious while it lasted. YABURNT continental United States!
“Teen Mom, and mother who pretends that the child is hers but then says that its not hers and that it was just a big misunderstanding despite clear evidence that she lied about it”
Spunk’d!
Yeah, I wanted to downvote my own damn self for that one.
Palin Comparison
The Jay Leno Show starring Sarah Palin
Brilliant!
Into The Why-Are-They-Doing-This-To-Me-Ld
The Bitch to Nowhere
Hey, going to get all seriousgum here, but I would prefer we insult Palin for her views and for her astonishing lack of intellect, and leave the gender based/sexist insults at the e-door? Please? I know “bitch” is kind of like “bridge” but, we’re better monsters than that, aren’t we?
America’s Next Top Human Piece of Garbage
9:00 AM: “Saturday Mornin’ Shout Outs with Sarah”
A wink and a nod, from a true american asshole.
10:00 AM: “Dick Cheney Guide to Life: how to make regular folks into suicide bombers”
mornings on FOX of course.
I don’t know what an “Oscar gifting suite” is. Am I stupid? Or just from Indiana?
Really? So I am stupid? I was trying to be self-deprecating.
“Gifting suites” or “gifting chalets” if you’re at Sundance [true story], are where brands give away free products to celebs in the hopes that they’ll be documented using said products in gossip rags or receive a favorable recommendation or Tweet of said product. I’ve heard from first hand observers that they’re actually awkward and a bit desperate.
So it’s giving away free stuff to the richest people in the country so that the poors will pay for them? Makes sense.
Via Politico: Palin show not “Osbournes go North”
this headline tries to stay truthful to their source but can’t help but point out how ridiculous this all is.
meaning Politico wants its readers to connect “Palin Show” with “Osbournes go North” and skip over the “not”
ugh, this is getting worse and worse. a joke that needs an explanation is no joke at all.
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A Look at Alaska with Sarah Palin: No, we don’t mean Michael Palin, although he also has travel shows/documentaries – we mean Sarah Palin, the ex-Governor of Alaska, you know, the Palin who was never in Monty Python.
Yeah, that was lame. But I only have room in my heart for one travelin’ Palin, and Michael Palin was there first. Plus, you know, Monty Pyton.
Hunting for the Seven Seals: Or, How to Club Baby Seals for Food and Profit, All While Keeping Thine Eyes Open for the Signs of the Apocalypse, starring Sarah Palin and the Wonder and Bounty of Alaska.
If want to be concise though:
Sarah Palin: Crazy Person talking about Stupid Shit.
the sarah palin: america’s worst idea
no, i want to change my answer to: tyler perry’s house of palin
Juneau.
Starring Ellen “Turn The” Page.
Ugh, I’m sorry. Really, Monsters. I should respect you more than to waste y’all’s time with that mess.
I hate you guys (I love you guys).
(it is a) Mystery (that I can be a giant c*nt and still get a show), Alaska
30 Days of A Hateful Asshole
(note: I’m pretty sure this works with any title from a movie set in Alaska.)
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
Jackass.
Milf Island
The Amazing Racist (probably)
but she has a picture of a black guy in her wallet
Palin Drones
All the upvotes
Awe thanks!
Palin in Comparison
E! Presents Sarahdise.
“The I’m a fucking waste of time and energy to even pay attention to because I’ll never go away and only make you more angry and depressed about the downward spiral that our country is in exhibited by my inexplicable popularity and staying power despite the fact that I am clearly uneducated and completely unfit to to even make a cogent statement on a garbage light night farce let alone run an entire state or god forbid a country Show.”
Good…. but probably should be longer.
“Sarah Palin’s Amazing Race”: Do you like the Amazing Race? But do you also hate all those foreigners in it? “Sarah Palin’s Amazing Race” takes contestants through the heartland of REAL America. Challenges include: Speak civilly with your Jewish boss about the raise you didn’t get, Give a complement to a black person, step inside that Mexican Grocery store on the corner(Why don’t they just leave already!), and many more!
The Tonight Show with Sarah Palin
The Jay Leno Show 2.
Sarah Palin: America’s Oil-Spill
Christ, now it looks like it took me four minutes to come up with that (it did).
Ya know, I’m just going to go with the same thing I came up with back when they were making a Sarah Palin porno — Impalin’ Palin: Journey Into The Alaskan Pipeline
Extreme Makeover: Nome Edition.
It was that or Wasting Spaces; I really like puns you guys. I’m sorry.
You Can See the Ratings From Right Here in My Backyard!
Surveillin’ Palin: Stay Where We Can See You And Don’t Touch Anything
The Unbearable Whiteness of Being
Danger Hunter: Sarah Palin Steps In Front Of Trucks
A Palin in the Ass
A Very Good, Very Smart Television Program
The World is Unfair: Why I Get a Show and Conan Doesn’t
Project gunway
Im and idiot….Get me outta here!
I’m an idiot….get me outta here!
Curbstomp her enthusiasm….?
Sarah & Todd Plus God
30 rock: alaska
Goin’ Rogue: The Sarah Pal[gunshot]
Auto-upvote for Jerri Blank.
“Pee on me.”
WHAT THE–
HOW DID YOU GET THROUGH, COOLFORSALE??
I think this sums it up:
Teets for Tards. Sarah explains how the ingestion of moose semen makes her breast milk superior.
Um… I think you need to see a psychiatrist.
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What, you don’t like Carrot Top?
Oh heck he’s swell. I was just mad at myself for crossing the line on this one. i’ll be good.
“Stupid Is As Stupid Will Did”
Into the Wild : Sarah Palin Edition
(with soundtrack by Eddie Vedder)