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Christian Van Vuuren has been quarantined with TB in a hospital room for 63 days, so he made this song (via Vulture) to keep himself occupied. Talk about a viral video! (Boooooo! Get off the blog!) This is fun, though. It takes a little bit to really get going, but stick with it. He has fun.
You wish Christian Van Vuuren was your boyfriend. “He is clever and he makes his own fun. He’s got neat tattoos and he’s soooo sick. If he was my boyfriend, I would take care of him all the time. I would wrap him up in a blanket and I would sing songs to him and rub his lips with ice chips. If he was my boyfriend, I would call him “my little patient,” and we would be in love and talk about what kind of pony he wanted when he got out of ‘hospital.’ I’m from America, but if I were dating Christian VaVuuren I would start referring to ‘the hospital’ as ‘hospital’ because it just sounds more sophisticated and he, Christian, my boyfriend, I wish, would appreciate my attempts to assimilate to his culture.” That is you. That is what you say.
But he is not your boyfriend. This is your boyfriend.
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This guy is the new Flight of the Conchords.
MY EYES AND EARS!
These juggalos have gone too far
I need to Lie Down
OWW MY EYES AGAIN!
i love cats.
fucking cats man.
OMG WHY IS IT SIGNED ON TO MY FB ACCOUNT? CAN’T HANDLE THIS CAN’T CAN’T CAN’T. WORLDS COLLIDING.
Same issue dude. Hate it. How can I make it go away?!
How long do you think he goes before he snaps and kills everything because Mr. Glove with an Ass for a face stole Miss Waterjug with Teabag hair from him?
After the overwhelming success of the credit sequence in Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle unleashes his long awaited prequel to 28 Days Later.
I’d quarantine this guy IN MY BED! Rrrrr.
Pulmonary Tuberculosis Amnesia. Helps us fall in love* over and over again.
*throw up
I like to think Desmond made something similar to this while ‘quarantined’ in the hatch.
yeah but with bins on all his limbs. cus penny loves bins
The lovely harmonies DKN Brain give to us make me want to give to them the keys to the whole music industry. All of it. Well done gentlemen.
Be like that if you will, Gabe, but I’m proud of the stylistic risks my boyfriend’s taken since leaving Midland.
I like this and I don’t care what anybody says. (About my boyfriend.)
He is totally too good for me. I acknowledge this freely.
agreed! He’s not too weird looking,no face paint, he seems to always wear pants… cool friends. Plus: HE HAS A BUMBLEE BEE HELMET! far too good for me.
did anybody get the name of that douche with the blood tears? he seems more my speed.
i was reading this and was super confused. “how is there commenting about the Seinfeld post on the Quarantine post? how do you fuck that up… oh… oh Transformers.. oh right.”
oh, so now you’re saying Seinfeld isn’t good enough to be my boyfriend either? well, the 3G’s he gives me to keep our secret love quiet is about to pay for your schooling bra! Peace-Out!*
*Peace-in: I know that’s not what you were saying and I can see where you’d be confused. I mean, two posts in a day that have Bumblebee Helmets of some sort, what was Gabe thinking? I hope we can just put this whole mess behind us and still be people who like the same blog. *♥*
are schooling bras the new training bras?
hahaha yes. yes indeedy doo.
We should all be so lucky to find ways to keep ourselves entertained while being quarantined.
Meow.
This is exactly what I titled my email to my cousin when I forwarded this to her. minus the meow.
Can we all have a rap battle to see who gets the Quarantine Rapper as their boyfriend? ‘Cause I ain’t about to share him.
Back off, Skinny Tie. Quarantine Rapper is only acting out his Wolverine fantasies with me.
That didn’t rhyme at all.
I don’t know; the Quarantine Rapper is Australian, and Skinny Tie is Canadian, so Skinny Tie might have dibs because of the Commonwealth.
Unless I’m making up Skinny Tie’s Canadian-ness (Canadianity?), which is entirely possible.
I’m Canadian all the way. So it would just make sense for us to live together. I mean, free health care and all.
Plus Stephen Harper is basically John Howard with a different accent, he can tell you about what it’s like to live under a “centre”-right PM. And you two can talk about the Queen and how she’s on all your money! I am ALL IN FAVOR of Skinny Tie winning this battle. CommonwealthGUM.
ROSES ARE RED
SKINNY TIES, DAPPER
KEEP YOUR PAWS OFF OF
THE QUARANTINE RAPPER
With my wolvering claws, I’m gonna give you some slashes.
Then hit you in the face, then punch you in the glasses.
OH NO!
now u put me in a mood
why you tryin 2 b lewd?
skinny tie, aren’t you a dude?
Oh no you didn’t!
let’s not be crass.
you know that aussie
has a smokin’ ass.
The Doctor is Out!
These beats are SICK! (sorry)
They wanna take a ride on (the quarantine rapper’s) disco stick. Double sorry!
Some may call them ‘next level’
i want to be his velveteen rabbit.
FAKE
(Yay, my first FAKE)
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I like when the VG ladies (and fancy boys) really come together to objectify men.
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The opponents of national healthcare who say “you don’t want to have socialized healthcare like in Britain” have just lost the debate. Because if our hospitals had this I’d totally visit grandma more often.
that second video wiped the smile right off my day. why cant we put THOSE creeps in quarantine? their music should not be spread….
Ever notice how Youtube videos from south of the equator are backwards?
Once I got used to the hospital smell, I loved it!
Here’s another video of him!: http://www.youtube.com/user/ChristiaanVanVuuren#p/a/u/2/dAVRZ0rRcEM (it’s got some NSFW language, so headphones UP!) It’s really amazing that all these props were already in the hospital room with him.
Heaps cool!
Bin for a hat. My boyfriend is so innovative!
(MY REAL NAME IS EXPOSED? I HATE THIS! LET ME GO FACEBOOK!)
Woah. Okay. so this is really me. And this is really weird.
But all this being said my boyfriend is still the best.