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Avril Lavigne’s “Alice” video, you guys:
Um, this video is fine. I mean, it’s a movie tie-in music video, so you can’t expect too much, and it’s certainly better than that phoned-in style of 1990s movie tie-in music video where the artist (haha, artist) would be performing in, like, an alleyway and scenes from the movie would be projected onto a garbage can lid. Or this shit. (Topical!) The video does what it is supposed to do.
But what on Earth is this song?! And I say that as an actual Avril fan. That’s right, I’m a 67-year-old man who enjoys Avril Lavigne, SO SUE ME. I think that “Girlfriend” and “Complicated” are exceptionally well-crafted pop songs, so what, who cares? But this is not an exceptionally well-crafted pop song. This is literally just a woman screaming lyrics written by a child. “I’m spinning around. I’m underground. I fell down! I’m freaking out. I’m upside down!” What? We are not actually supposed to listen to this are we? This song feels like a joke. I feel like a joke is being played on me. Ashton, you can come out now, we have been PUNK’D and it’s 2002 so that is still a relevant joke to make! Also, how old is Avril Lavigne anyway? 40? You should know better, Avril Lavigne! You’re a grown woman who has experienced life and is currently going through a divorce. ACT LIKE IT!
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Look, Gabe… its a big deal for Avril to get Madonna to even agree to be in her video
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I was going to say Elijah Wood.
I see that too… Which brings up a weird Elijah Wood looks like Madonna thing that I’m not sure I’m 100% ready to deal with…
Elijah Wood and Madonna in a Time Traveling You’re-Me-I’m-You Cop film anybody? Sadly, this is my second idea. My first one is the sequel to Forever Young, which I’m having trouble working on.
Honestly, I see Elijah Wood and Carrot Top’s terrifying child. Who is most likely our boyfriend.
I made this out of love and respect for Videogum and Jokes.
The thing about “Complicated” and “Girlfriend” is that they were written by Butch Walker, the man responsible for hundreds of stupidly catchy songs that use dirty cheap tricks to get them in your head.
This song was written by stealing a 12 year old’s diary and running the bad poetry through Google translate a few times from English to Japanese to English.
I think you just explained how Stephanie Meyers wrote the Twilight books.
Actually, they weren’t written by Butch Walker.
But she still sucks, though, right?
She sucks an amount of suck equal to the your avatar’s amount of awesomeness-… which is to say, your avatar is frigging awesome. Zardoz is RI-DONK-CULOUS.
My avatar has a secret for your avatar.
I always thought that “Girlfriend” was a great pop song. I just thought it was called “Mickey”, and performed by Toni Basil.
I liked the song better when it was called “I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend” and sung by the Ramones.
Since she’s been gone, I can’t breathe for the first time. No, wait; I just needed to belch. Better now.
Did Robert Zemeckis direct this? “Okay when the song goes ‘i’m falling’ will have you be falling. Also, when you sing the line ‘take a stand’ lets have you stand up from the table. Good? Good”
Maybe they’re trying to beat the YouTube “literal video” people at their own game.
I think Tim Burton lost a bet.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/akdobbins/madonna-vs-the-mad-hatter
That makes the Madonna connection more strenuously.
!!!
Who gave me a -1?? What the devil is wrong with this post??
I don’t know. I think someone is being extra mean this week. I’ve seen a lot of downvoted comments all around.
I really tried to watch all of this but at about 2:20 I had to put a hot compress on my head.I am glad Avril is getting all this off her chest, but the yelling. Sheesh.
I’m 99% sure James Cameron writes Avril Lavigne’s lyrics.
“sometimes
a knife is dull
sometimes
friends forget
sometimes
a hand is out of reach
sometimes
your crush crushes u
sometimes u forget
its only sometimes”
-Actual excerpt from my winnie the pooh dollar store diary
I thought this would make me feel better… but it makes things much, much worse…
Videogum on a full bladder is not always the best move.
As I looked everywhere but directly at this image, I just noticed that the background is all hats! That’s neat!
I really can’t believe Tim Burton didn’t demand that the part of Avril Lavgine be played by Helena Bonham Carter.
I was thinking he’d have Johnny Depp in that role.
“Give it crazy hair and put eyeliner on it!” – Tim Burton directing all of his movies. Stinks.
They really would have been better off just reusing this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0JvF9vpqx8
(trivia: that’s David Stewart at the Caterpillar at the beginning)
Isn’t it that woman from CSI in the video?
“is this real? is this pretend?” – existential crisis avril over here. these are great thinkers of our fin-de-decade: “david after dentist” (2009) and avril (2010).
I don’t know, I feel like this song would have been better if Avril didn’t scream the chorus. Also, this video was kind of weird. All she did was run and play her piano in a mushroom field…
Yeah. Also, the vox are waaay too high in the mix, and it destroys what could have been a decent stab at a neutered, semi-avant garde pop song.
“When I fall and hit the ground, I will turn myself around.” Does this mean she’s face up, or face down in the dirt?
I’m voting for the latter.
Technically, it’d be both.
Like Schrödinger’s Cheshire cat.
That could be your girlfriend.
I am so ashamed to be Canadian right now.
She wails a lot, doesn’t she? Like, a ton. But I’m going to go ahead and admit that it’s kind of working for me. That’s not a problem, is it?
Has Avril ever done a video in which she didn’t use speed up or slowed down segments?
It’s like life, man. Sometimes everything is moving too fast, sometimes too slow. Heavy.
When I saw the title of this post, I got excited that somehow Butch Vig and Shirley Manson were involved… what a brunch of disappointment
Is she supposed to be like a goth Taylor Swift in this or something? She’s sitting at a piano in a dress,but this dress is BLACK and not WHITE! No one is trying to stop you from turning around once you hit the ground Avril.
“Oh no I just fell into a mysterious hidey-hole and am now unquestioningly wearing a punk-rock princess gown! I know, I’ll stop to sing a poorly constructed narrative about my situation on this piano I found in some dank woods.” (Pronounced ‘barf’.)
Why on earth was she a guest judge on American Idol this season? I’m mean, she’s never been a good singer before but this is just really bad singing and it feels so amateurish.
This is going to be on so many terrible mixtapes.
After watching the Aerosmith video, I have to wonder: why didn’t they just use Steven Tyler’s mouth to eat the huge asteroid? Still could’ve incorporated the song and everything, and everyone would live happily ever after
Woof. She is hot and all that but that is one shitty song. It reminds me of how everything else she has ever done is so shitty.