Conan O’who? Jay Lewhosthisnow? The Tonight Shuh? No time for old snooze! America has a new feud brewing and it is awesome. As anyone who follows Kirstie Alley’s Twitter (GUILTY) knows, her feud with Joy Behar (over…Tiger Woods?) has actually been brewing for some time, but Joy Behar has finally taken the bait (kind of), and now we are all on the Fast Bus to Feud Town, Population YES! Here are some of the highlights (via HuffingtonPost):

and WHY has Joy Behar turned into such a self righteous cooz head? OOOOooo that’s right…..FOREVER!!!

FOREVER!!! YOU GOT IT, HILARIOUS LADY!!! (Kirstie Alley’s first Tweeter this morning started with “GOOD MORNING CRANBERRY HEADS,” which made me laugh out loud.) And also this:

CHEATING is between a husband and wife. Not TMZ and Joy Bewhore…God, I want to bash her in the vagina with her microphone.

Yikes. Bash her in the vagina with her microphone? Why do you want to do that? That is a weird thing to want to do! Also, I think The View uses clip-on lapel mics, so, you know, DIFFICULT.

Admittedly, Joy Behar’s response is kind of tepid:

Kirstie Alley calls me Joy Bewhore. Compliments! Compliments!

Come on, Joy Behar. YOU BETTER DRUMLINE! How do you expect CafePress to move these shirts if you’re not going to put in the work?

Man. Feuds are the best, and this feud is hilarious. RUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNN to this feud! Get it? You get it.

Comments (37)
  1. Kirstie Alley sounds like someone I would be friends with. Huh… I didn’t pack for this.

  2. Tonight, it will be Joy Behar’s pussy that Kirstie Alley is dreaming of.

  3. Does microphone vagina bashing count as rape-rape?

  4. Why does Kristie Alley look like Madam Mim in that photo?

  5. so what? who cares?

  6. The only thing Kirstie Allie cheats on is her diet, quick Joy I gave you great material tweet it now

  7. Gabe, do you know why I love posts like this? FOREVER, that’s why!!!1!

  8. True story: one time Kirstie Alley’s deaf lemur escaped and was running loose in my neighborhood. It couldn’t hear her and it STILL wanted to get away from her. Team Lemur!

  9. The “RUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNN” post is still Lots Of Love. Gabe. National Hero.

  10. “RUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNN to this feud!” I don’t get it. Is this an Iron Maiden reference?

  11. Team Kirstie b/c the catering at the team meetings is way better, forever!

  12. I love it when the answer to “why?” is “FOREVER!!!.”

  13. Does anyone know why Conan made jokes about Kirstie Alley every night? I assumed he met her and she sucked…but I want the deets…

  14. Not to nitpick, but “CHEATING” (her caps, not mine) is most definitely NOT just between a husband and wife. Team Leader, Project Duh: Out!

  15. “Also, I think The View uses clip-on lapel mics, so, you know, DIFFICULT. ”

    Come on Gabe, you KNOW they use those mics because of that one time you went to see a taping because of how much you love the show because you’re a 78-year old man.

  16. “is it just me, or is Joy Behar getting hotter?” – Tracy Jordan, upon seeing the above photo

  17. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

  18. I’m with Team JoJo.

  19. “bash in her vagina with her microphone”? wow, kids are really using their vocabulary to come up with new and wonderfull euphemisms

  20. Why is “GOOD MORNING CRANBERRY HEADS” funny? That’s how I greet my cats every morning. All 37 of them.

    • Its funny b/c Kirstie is notoriously fond of cranberry sauce, forever. So she’s indicating one of these days she may or may not just eat a person. Watch out.

  21. I’m not sure who to root for until I find out who Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, George Clooney, and Bruce Springsteen endorse.

  22. yikes. she says BASH it. i just did the girl equivalent to when men see other men get hit in the balls. chill out kristie! taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot. wouldn’t you like to get away?

  23. “Dear NY Times,Ms Bayhar threw the1st punch by urging a panel on her show 2 take shots at me.Including her look alike son,Dany Bonadouche”

  24. I’m looking forward to Kirstie Alley in the reboot of Tommy Boy

  25. Because I looked at that picture of Kirstie Alley recently, I had a dream last night that it was the 90′s and the 90′s version of Kirstie Alley was teaching me a really complicated way to curl my hair but in the dream all I could think about was how I had seen this picture and I kept getting scared for the future.

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