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Big Money Rustlas trailer, you guys:

If this was 2009, I would say “is this real life?” but it is 2010, and that reference has gone out of fashion, so I will just stick with the more traditional WHAAAAAAAAT? Normally, of course, with a movie this miserable and insane looking (get it? You get it), I would ask for whom this movie was intended, and who could possibly want this. No such problem with Big Money Rustlas. We know exactly who this movie is for and who could possibly want definitely wants this. Juggalos! The Detroit News featured an article over the weekend about the movie’s premiere at the Fillmore theater in downtown Detroit, and it is every bit the living nightmare you might imagine! Middle-aged men and angry teenagers alike dressed in clown makeup, standing in the freezing cold, waiting to get inside and shout curse words at a movie made by the Insane Clown Posse about the Old West (which is strangely still awaiting a distribution deal. Weird). But this part is the best:

As a line of fans wrapped down Elizabeth Street, past Park Avenue and almost down to Clifford Street, ICP’s Psychopathic Records labelmates — most of whom had roles in the film — pulled up to the front of the building in limousines. Reflecting on the excitement in the air, Twiztid’s Paul Methric remarked, “this makes me want to move to Hollywood.”

I cannot wait for Variety‘s article about Twiztid’s Paul Methric moving to Hollywood.

“For weeks, his name had been the buzz at all of the hottest parties, but now he was finally here, and the town greeted him with open arms and bated breath. ‘Can we get you a decaf soy cappuccino?’ the assistant that Mr. Methric shares with Meryl Streep asked. Twiztid’s Paul Methric nodded but asked her to make it a caffeinated soy latte. He was going to need the energy to get through the pile of scripts that was waiting for him, after all.”

Actually, I lied, I think this is the best part:

Last to arrive was the Insane Clown Posse themselves, with Violent J (real name: Joe Bruce) in a blue sport coat and blue jeans and Shaggy 2 Dope (real name: Joe Utsler) in a black and white fur coat, accessorized with a bling-studded walking cane.

“This feeling is unapproachable,” said J, standing beneath the Fillmore marquee. “We’ve waited 10 years for this.”

It is nice to see that Shaggy 2 Dope treated his movie premiere as a Pimps and Hos party 15 years ago. No joke, that is entirely appropriate. But obviously, it is that quote that is killing me. “The feeling is unapproachable” is the new motto for 2010. Don’t doubt it.

Comments (63)
  1. Call me cynical, but I just don’t think this will be as good as Big Money Hustlas.

  2. We got Roger Eberts up in this bitch!

  3. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m excited that Deadwood is getting an official conclusion.

  4. Won’t be as good as Choices.

    • Choices! I used to work at a CD/DVD store where this fine cinematic gem was special ordered at least once a week, no joke. Also, the store was located down the street from numerous halfway houses and drug rehabs. Which I’m sure was a coincidence.

    • Melissa Gilbert was awesome in that movie!!!!!!!!11!!!

  5. Why yes that IS “Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart at 0:28. Todd Bridges, Robert Van Winkle, Ron Jeremy, etc. etc. My favorite character name is definitely “Raw Poot.”

  6. To celebrate the premiere the juggalos all toasted with faygo-flavored champagne.

  7. Also Screech, JJ Walker, and Brigitte Nielson (SP, I hope). It’s as if these celebrities have a lot of time of their hands.

  8. Most Juggalo posts make me uncomfortable and sad. This one was just adorable though.

  9. How does that bartender not recognize the guy who ALWAYS wears clown makeup?

  10. Pshhh, the only celeb that adds any kind of legitimacy to this is Bridget “The Midget” Powers.

    In which case Color me excited.

  11. How do the townspeople not find this entire situation completely hilarious at all times?

  12. Holy crap, this was my entry into BNPG 11 (the cow game)!



    They stole my idea! What a bunch of neden holes!

  13. Why don’t they mention the soundtrack? That’s probably why they made this movie, right?

  14. To: Live@talkGOD.com

    I have an obsession with wearing clown makeup and recently returned to an old town out west after a long time away. My home town has recently been over run by another gentleman who also wears clown makeup and insists that he will not allow anyone to get between himself and his money. I fear that if I escalate our confrontation, it will end in midget punching, anachronistic gun play and implausible explosions. This situation is starting to feel unapproachable… Please help!

  15. OK, How did David Yow of the Jesus Lizard get in this movie?

  16. Pro tip: Do not name your child “Joe.” Thanks, Detroit News!

  17. These guys are definitely your huckleberries.

  18. The director’s name is Paul Andresen which I am totally going to confuse with Paul Thomas Anderson and Paul W.S. Anderson.
    I also got an exclusive look at the screenplay. My favorite line is “If you have a Faygo, and I have a Faygo, and I have a straw, there it is, you see, my straw reaches across the room and starts to drink your Faygo. I . . Drink . . . your . . . Faygo! I drink it up! Lo-tus!”

  19. I’ll withhold judgment until I see it, but it looks like they butchered the novel.

  20. Should we make Gabe watch this WMOAT-style? (or would that be too cruel?)

  21. An open letter to the audience of Big Money Rustlas:

    It’s not your fault your parents got a divorce. They just fell out of love with each other. They love you very much, even though they probably don’t say it as much as they should.

    Love, 1998

  22. They waited 10 years for that?

  23. “Detroit hasn’t suffered enough.”
    -Those Guys

  24. The faygo western is a genre worthy of our attention.

  25. all juggalos look the same to me. i guess I’M racist.

  26. I’m glad that they took the time to incorporate a painstaking attention to historic detail. I must make a mental note to update the “Old West” wikipedia page to include AK-47′s.

  27. The “lead” burlesque dancer is Sugar Slam, right? I mean, it has to be.

  28. I’m pretty sure that when the predictions of Idiocracy finally come to fruition, “Fuck you, Sugar Wolf” will be printed on money where E Pluribus Unum used to be.

  29. Is it too late for this to be a contender in the Oscars this year?

  30. Wait, someone who was affiliated with this movie knows what hedonism is?

  31. Just like your grammar BE.

  32. This movie is based on a true story… right?

  33. The skinny one is a better actor than the fat one.

  34. I guess we don’t need The Hunt for The Worst Movie of All Time anymore, it has been found.

  35. Typical Hipster comments. Oh how I love to judge and hate. As a neutral, and god knows why, I am facinated between the Hipster vs juggalo’s. I have friends in both worlds. I am noticing that the Juggalo friends I have grown up in shitty broke ass homes or Canadian Native reservations. My hipster friends come from very wealthy, educated, religious, white families. Yes my Juggalo friends are total skids, my hipster friends try to look like skids, just put together better. My Juggalo friends respect family, are many races and cultures and drink good beer, mostly supporting local brew. Hippster friends drink shit PBR or a pumpkin beer??? My hipster friends have SOME good music but most of it is some obscure band that never should of made it because, yes, that is shit phyc and all your styles have been done before. They might even ruin dub step…… shit, too late.

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