Photos
Blood Into Wine trailer, you guys:
Oh, OK. This appears to be a relatively earnest documentary about Arizona wine production, following the recent trend of movies for and about wine enthusiasts, like Sideways, and Bottle Shock. Neat! I love documentaries! Except, wait a second. The winemaker in question is Maynard James Keenan, the lead singer of Tool. And while it is a documentary, sort of, I’m not sure you could call it earnest, since it also features Bob Odenkirk, Patton Oswalt, Milla Jovovich, Tim Heidecker, and Eric Wareheim. If this trailer was a journalist, he would get a pointed scolding from his managing editor, Gus Haynes, about the definition of the word ‘evacuate’ not burying the lede.
Come on, trailer. You can do better. Hit the streets with your notebook and bring us back something to work with.
Much better. Thank you, Blood Into Wine trailer. This is above the fold.
 |
 |
You Might Also Like
 So Jash Is OUR Generation’s SuperDeluxe? (NO PARENTS… |  Here Are Some Afternoon Links! |  The Tim And Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie Teaser Trailer, You… | Tim And Eric On Conan |
Leave a Reply
Sign inSign in with FacebookYou must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.
This isn’t wine! It’s tequila and 5-Alive and those little marshmallows you put in cocoa.
i cant possibly imagine watching more than those 3 minutes (a 2 hour commercial?) but now i am very interested in tasting arizona wines. success!
I hope that Maynard James Keenan tag gets more use because that guy seems like HEAPS of fun…
Look, can you condense this into a nut graf? Goddammit, at least get something to grab eyeballs before the jump! This ain’t evergreen, you fucks. Put some feet on the pavement. I swear, you guys just spit out whatever the flacks tell you.
Upvoted because journalism.
Oh my god the Bob Odenkirk into. I am so attracted to him that I can’t even admit it to my friends. Also partially because he is 25 years older than me.
*INTRO NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Every friend I’ve had since I was 15 will at some point own this movie in multiple forms (DVD, iTunes, Amazon VOD, eternally in their Netflix Watch Instantly queue) because of Mr. Keenan, so I’m sure I’ll see it at some point. But you’re right…the first trailer left me not super-enthused for my inevitable future, and the second kind of pumped.
After Steve Martin talked me into spending 95 cents on that sparkling muscatel (“one of the finest wines of Idaho”) – well, let’s say I’m skeptical.
It’s just wine, and it’s everywhere and a lot of it is very good. You did not invent it, Maynard James Keenan. Stop it.
Gabe, stop wineing……….GET IT!
get what?
Maynard? I’m in.
Maynard Keenan was roommates with Jay Johnston and made Mr. Show cameos. The more you know!
So, what’s up with Riki Rachtman?
Hell to the yeah! Represent AZ! Come visit, monsters! btw, other than the majestic desert and our delicious wines (?), that kid with the crazy eyes and the devil-horn fingers at 1:18 pretty much sums it up.
Honey, congrats so much on your new “Tool” tat! I am so proud. I’m off like a prom dress to get mine to match!
Delicious! And Tool is such a relevant band, too. But no thank you, I’m saving my money for the 2011 Ace of Base pinot noirs.
Nice Wire reference.
All the Tool fans I know drink Coors Light.
Why do people keep letting Milla Jovovich speak on camera? NO THANK YOU
I think it’s something to do with the way her face looks when she talks/does anything [I think the word I'm looking for is ZOUNDS!]
That’s really a question you need to ask?
.</p>
</div>
<div class=)
ANSWER:
Ugh… let’s try this again:
In the second trailer (post-jump) I thought he was gonna be like, “And this is named after your mom? Let’s see what it tastes like… …it tastes like your mom,” and I was so ready for it and really excited but he said, “Wow.” BUZZKILL.
Uh, of COURSE Maynard is into wine. And of COURSE he planted a huge vinyard. To farm half an acre is just silly! The game’s out there and it’s play or get played!
This is why we can’t not be sober, Maynard.
Yeah, uh, isn’t this the same guy who sang in a plaintive, beleaguered way, “Why can’t we just be sober?”
Because we’re getting shitfaced and snonkered on your Arizona hooch, Maynard.
My Boyfriends, both real and otherwise, have always been into Tool because angst. Maynard!! is apparently a god to many men. So I have had this wine, and as a wine enthusiast (see: permanent blue film on teeth) I can say: this wine is much better than Tool is.
Actually this wine is pretty good. I was in AZ visiting family over the holidays and a lot of the nice restaurants we went to pushed this wine because it’s finally a “local” wine that is decent and can stand up to wine from not Arizona. Didn’t realize the Tool connection until I got back to CA.
hey Tool fans: you enjoy rocking out to a winemaker! yes, his angst is real. very real. next up: Trent Reznor’s How-To-Crochet webisodes.
Um. This better be a prelude film, for an upcoming documentary on the vinyards of Jeff Dunham. I could care less about Tool. I want to see the process behind making an “Achmed Syrah” or a “Peanut Riesling.”
I know “cactuses” is acceptable in some circles, but not mine.
CACTI, Maynard. Cacti.
upvoted twice. (I created a fake account just to re-upvote you and make my vote count for more.)
On a technical note: I’ve been to Jerome and it’s built at the top of one of the few high points in Arizona. I don’t know a lot about growing wine, but I think you need water for that. Is Maynard a modern day water rustler in the Arizona desert?
If not, why not?
TOOL is prog rock for Juggalos.