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Well, it turns out there is a reason I’ve never watched the Golden Globes before in my life, and that reason is that they are so boring! Granted, the show moved along at a fast enough clip. They certainly kept giving out awards for stuff, and the complete absence of musical medleys was refreshing, and Ricky Gervais did his job just fine, but also SNORE. The speeches were a real snooze, although I was on the edge of my seat to see whether Meryl Streep would beat out Meryl Streep. Good job, Meryl Streep! And it was awesome how they turned a lifetime achievement award for Martin Scorsese into an advertisement for Shutter Island. And to be fair, this guy was having a GREAT time:
But I don’t know, Golden Globes. Between everyone pretending like going to the Golden Globes was actually helping the recovery efforts in Haiti, and James Cameron’s hair, I feel like we could probably just skip this, right? Go back to the way things were. Put the Golden Globes genie back in the cheap champagne bottle. Because even for an awards show, which naturally stinks, this thing mega-stinked.
Here is the full list of winners anyway:
Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture
-Penelope Cruz ‘Nine’
-Vera Farmiga ‘Up in the Air’
-Anna Kendrick ‘Up in the Air’
-Mo’Nique ‘Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire’
-Julianne Moore ‘A Single Man’
Best Actress in a Television Series, Comedy or Musical
-Toni Collette ‘United States of Tara’
-Courteney Cox ‘Cougar Town’
-Tina Fey ’30 Rock’
-Edie Falco ‘Nurse Jackie’
-Lea Michele ‘Glee’
Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
-Neil Patrick Harris ‘How I Met Your Mother’
-Michael Emerson ‘Lost’
-Jeremy Piven ‘Entourage’
-William Hurt ‘Damages’
-John Lithgow ‘Dexter’
Best Animated Feature Film
-’Coraline’
-’Fantastic Mr. Fox’
-’Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs’
-’The Princess and the Frog’
-’Up’
Best Actor in a Television Series, Drama
-Simon Baker ‘The Mentalist’
-Michael C. Hall ‘Dexter’
-Jon Hamm ‘Mad Men’
-Hugh Laurie ‘House’
-Bill Paxton ‘Big Love’
Best Actress in a Television Series, Drama
-Julianna Margulies ‘The Good Wife’
-Glenn Close ‘Damages’
-January Jones ‘Mad Men’
-Anna Paquin ‘True Blood’
-Kyra Sedgwick ‘The Closer’
Best Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
-’Grey Gardens’
-’Into the Storm’
-’Little Dorrit’
-’Taking Chance’
-’Georgia O’Keeffe’
Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Comedy
-Sandra Bullock ‘The Proposal’
-Marion Cotillard ‘Nine’
-Julia Roberts ‘Duplicity’
-Meryl Streep ‘It’s Complicated’
-Meryl Streep ‘Julie and Julia’
Best Actor in a Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
-Kevin Bacon ‘Taking Chance’
-Kenneth Branagh ‘Wallander: One Step Behind’
-Chiwetel Ejiofor ‘Endgame’
-Brendan Gleeson ‘Into the Storm’
-Jeremy Irons ‘Georgia O’Keeffe’
Best Actress in a Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
-Joan Allen ‘Georgia O’Keeffe’
-Drew Barrymore ‘Grey Gardens’
-Jessica Lange ‘Grey Gardens’
-Anna Paquin ‘The Courageous Heart of Irena Sendler’
-Sigourney Weaver ‘Prayers for Bobby’
Best Screenplay – Motion Picture
-’The Hurt Locker’ Mark Boal
-’District 9′ Neill Blomkamp, Terri Tatchell
-’Inglourious Basterds’ Quentin Tarantino
-’It’s Complicated’ Nancy Meyers
-’Up in the Air’ Jason Reitman, Sheldon Turner
Best Actor in a Television Series, Comedy or Musical
-Alec Baldwin ’30 Rock’
-Steve Carell ‘The Office’
-Thomas Jane ‘Hung’
-David Duchovny ‘Californication’
-Matthew Morrison ‘Glee’
Best Foreign Language Film
-’A Prophet’
-‘The White Ribbon’
-’The Maid’
-’Baaria’
Best Television Series, Drama
-’Big Love’
-’Dexter’
-’House’
-’Mad Men’
-’True Blood’
Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
-Jane Adams ‘Hung’
-Rose Byrne ‘Damages’
-Jane Lynch ‘Glee’
-Janet McTeer ‘Into the Storm’
-Chloe Sevigny ‘Big Love’
Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture
-Matt Damon ‘Invictus’
-Woody Harrelson ‘The Messenger’
-Christopher Plummer ‘The Last Station’
-Stanley Tucci ‘The Lovely Bones’
-Christoph Waltz ‘Inglourious Basterds’
Best Director – Motion Picture
-Kathryn Bigelow ‘The Hurt Locker’
-James Cameron ‘Avatar’
-Clint Eastwood ‘Invictus’
-Jason Reitman ‘Up in the Air’
-Quentin Tarantino ‘Inglourious Basterds’
Best Televison Series, Comedy or Musical
-’30 Rock’
-’Entourage’
-’Glee’
-’Modern Family’
-’The Office’
Best Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical
-’(500) Days of Summer’
-’The Hangover’
-’It’s Complicated’
-’Julie & Julia’
-’Nine’
Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama
-Emily Blunt ‘The Young Victoria’
-Sandra Bullock ‘The Blind Side’
-Helen Mirren ‘The Last Station’
-Carey Mulligan ‘An Education’
-Gabourey Sidibe ‘Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire’
Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Comedy
-Matt Damon ‘The Informant!’
-Daniel Day-Lewis ‘Nine’
-Robert Downey, Jr. ‘Sherlock Holmes’
-Joseph Gordon-Levitt ‘(500) Days of Summer
-Michael Stuhlbarg ‘A Serious Man’
Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama
-Jeff Bridges ‘Crazy Heart’
-George Clooney ‘Up in the Air’
-Colin Firth ‘A Single Man’
-Morgan Freeman ‘Invictus’
-Tobey Maguire ‘Brothers’
Best Motion Picture, Drama
-’Avatar’
-’The Hurt Locker’
-’Inglourious Basterds’
-’Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire’
-’Up in the Air’
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I forgive the Golden Globes because I have a weakness for award shows and this is the floppiest award show of them all.
Also, I enjoy how Felicity Huffman’s total weirdness while presenting is being brushed aside because she’s boring or something.
one thing made my night, besides the chat of course: AVADAH!
Yes! And now I have something KHAAAN-like to yell when it wins even more awards that I don’t think it has any business winning!
The only thing more inevitable than the appearance of this gif in these comments is another shitty Brendan Fraser film.
the hurt locker was unfairly shut down by the sky people, but as far as i’m concerned, werner herzog, nicolas cage, and xzibit should have won ALL of the golden globes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEJjjVrL1tY
Added to Netflix Queue
What happened to you Brendan?, you used to be cool…
He and Luke Wilson need to do some buddy cop movie where they just bloat in front of your eyes for two hours.
Things just got Extra Value Meal.
When?
I learned so much about Harrison Ford last night!
A. He has an earring.
B. He’s with Calista Flockheart who is 23 years younger than him.
C. When talking in front of people, he becomes an awkward robot and needs a nurse to wheel him off stage.
h.ford’s earring is the WORST. I always forget about it, then he shows up at some award show and it scratch my eyeballs……THE WORST..
Is it worse than Morgan Freeman’s? You’re MORGAN FREEMAN. No one think you’re cooler because of the earring . . .
I can’t believe they did that whole big ass tribute to Scorsese and they didn’t even mention his BEST work, Gatsby. Ugh.
Hmmm??? There is no Scorsese film of that name….???? Or is this a joke I’m clearly not getting…
It’s a reference to Entourage… so no, there’s not a joke you’re not getting.
at least christoph waltz won supporting actor!
His acceptance speech was so cheesy and earnest that I AWWed out loud. You adorable Jew hunter, I love you to pieces!
woody harrelson was pretty amazing in “the messenger.” the hollywood foreign press definitely circle jerked all over “inglourious” though so i wasn’t really expecting any different.
How did jane lynch lose, how did sandra bullock win.
on a side note, chloe sevignys dress looked like beef stroganoff.
amirite?
is that a good thing? bc i thought her dress was beautiful and such a great color on her. oh wait–is this jezebel?
Yeah, its like any event whatsoever has to be prefaced by an attempt to support Haiti. And if any of these events helped the contribution by even a couple bucks, I can consider it a good thing. But its just downright dishonest. You wanna help Haiti? Cancel the fuckin’ award show, and all that money spent on booze and suits? You know where I’m goin’ here. “Before we begin our hundred-thousand dollar fake award show, can someone please donate ten dollars to Haiti? Cool. CONSCIENCE CLEARED!”
I saw this on another site and had the werttrew-like instinct to save it in a file called “gifs.” Â Looks like The King of the World thought he could win this thing.
i hate his smug old lesbian face.
i almost didn’t recognize jane lynch in that white wig
Does anyone else think he said “Meh, I don’t want it.”?
1,000 ughs
“Aaahhh, that’ll do, pig.”
After Mad Men won…again…(yay!), I of course marveled at Christina Hendrick’s…well…yeah..obvious attributes…while my missus fell in love yet again with Vincent Kartheiser’s shaggy and unkempt appearance when he’s not competing with Ken Cosgrove for Head of Accounts
The Golden Globes were everyone from the biz goes to get drunk for free, even the director of the broadcast was drunk before the thing had even started.
I had to get motion sickness pills halfway through the pre-show… because of all the fast-moving blunder cameras cuts.
Does Mike Tyson get a Golden Globe for the Hangover win?
“I snuck inz a 5 dullar meatball footlung from Subway. Ezn’t America the greatest country in thee world?”
- Arnold Schwarzenegger, Picture #3
I watch this bullshit every year with my mom because it makes her happy. I enjoyed…the misspelling of Chloe Sevigny’s name (Chloi? Honestly, who thought she spelled her name like that? One god damn person, most likely, and he fucked the whole thing up) and Gervais’ Mel Gibson joke. But the best, by far, was James Cameron’s unbelievably tone-deaf acceptance speech for Avatar’s best pic. The whole night was all about peace and Haiti and awesome boobs, and then he pulls the “give yourself a hand” thing and the show ends on this fantastic sour note. Evening ruined. I see you James Cameron!
The funniest part about the “give yourself a hand” thing is that that is exactly what the entire awards show is about anyhow, famous people clapping for themselves.
Is it just me, or did both James Cameron and Robert Downy Jr. seem a little scary and threatening when they said something about not turning the music up on them? Why were they so mad?
Downey was probably just pissed because Chris Kattan was walking around pretending to be him.
Was anybody else as mad as I was that “Little Dorrit” didn’t win for best mini-series?
Speaking of threats, I think Morgan Freeman’s narrated Visa Olympics commercial where you’re sent to the games “For the rest of your life” sounds like a threat more than anything else.
P.S. catchphrase of the new decade = “If I hear violins I’m going to kill someone.”
See, the Globes is sort of my favorite awards show, because you get to watch celebs get hammered and say things they could never get away with elsewhere (see Mel Gibson joke). The secret best part of the show is when they show people mingling during commercial breaks, and you laugh because Mo’Nique is talking to drunk Paul McCartney and Jack McBrayer or something equally mind-exploding.
I do have to say Nicholson’s absence was notable this year. He always gets drunker than anyone and shouts things at the presenters.
I just want to say YAY!!! for John Lithgow and Michael C. Hall’s wins…. this season of “Dexter” was by far, the best so far (THE FINALE, you guys!!!).
P.S. James Cameron’s looking good….
I like how no one could find the stage, ever, literally. Also, the thing that sucks about the GGs specifically is that you have to either watch the entire thing or none of it at all, because flipping back and forth, as I did, is like a non-sequitor hell and even more WTF. And I was SURE felicity huffman’s speech was a joke, but then it so painfully wasn’t.
the real story of last night was the preponderance of playoff/haiti beards. 2008′s indie rock revolution has reached hollywoodland.
Jon Hamm’s extended vacation beard had me all hot and bothered.
On the beard: one reporter asked Hamm, ?What?s with pulling the Brad Pitt?? Hamm?s response: ?I?m not sure what ?pulling the Brad Pitt? means. That could be very, very filthy.?
this guy’s beard had me all hot and bothered:
I’m sorry, District 9 and the Hurt Locker. You deserved so much more. But yay for Dexter and Mad Men! You go, great shows and actors! Also, I have the dilemma of loving Toni Collette but hating her stupid show. I don’t know what to feel anymore.
James Cameron with that hair is also looking like Benjamin Franklin without the spectacles. I like when we talk a lot about hairstyles on this blog, can we do that more? Lets make that a thing!
The golden globes proved its own irrelevancy and poor taste by giving Avatar best picture. Come on people, pretty pictures and a script written by a twelve year old does not deserve such a thing.
If it wins the oscar, you do not want to be within my immediate striking distance.
I agree. I mean don’t get me wrong, I felt like a kid in a candy store what with the flashy images and awkward phrasing of 99% of Avatar’s screenplay, but I know the the Globes officially bit the bullet when they awarded Avatar best picture over Cameron’s ex-wife’s (Bigelow) film The Hurt Locker.
The Hurt Locker was better, incredibly well written and well directed. Kind of like salt in an open wound eh Cameron?
Whoa, Chris Kattan looks exactly like Verne Troyer. Am I the first or last person to notice this?
Brendan Fraser hasn’t been in the presence of such comedy gold since Monkey Bone. Or George of the Jungle. Or Dudley Do Right….eh you get it, he sucks.
- Lorenzo Soria and angel – #Picture 12
So noone is gonna mention Christina Hendricks’ appearence? Vavavoom! I’m a lady and even I know that was some hot hotness.