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Ah, the Golden Globes. Hollywood’s most cherished and respectable awards show. Wait, no. What are the Golden Globes again? Oh right, it is a sham contest set up by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, whatever THAT is, that has been derided and ridiculed for years as a pointless opportunity for celebrities to get drunk, because if there is one thing that celebrities lack, it is opportunities for drinking alcohol. They almost never get to have any, so it is a very special night.I guess the Golden Globes are supposed to indicate who might win the Oscar, but it’s not really very accurate, and also who cares? I mean, who cares about having a slightly better idea of who may or may not get a different award two months from now? Anyway, here we are! This year’s Golden Globes are the first ever to feature a host, and that host is Ricky Gervais, star of 2008′s Ghost Town. Oh neat! And everyone on the red carpet is wearing ribbons in honor of Haiti (UGH), so tonight is going to be very POWERFUL and MEANINGFUL, I’m sure. We will be providing up-to-the-minute coverage (the definition of “coverage” is stupid jokes about how dumb people’s faces look, right? Journalism!) on the Videogum Twitter feed, and feel free to make your own “coverage” with your fellow monsters right here in the comments!
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Ribbons heal earthquakes.
Who decides what colour the ribbon will be for each cause? Is there a committee?
I’ve been wondering the same thing.
Do y’all follow Roger Ebert on Twitter? His Golden Globe tweets have been especially bitter/insane so far. So EXTREMELY bitter/insane. I love him, but he is completely nuts, right?
Nuts in the sense that he swore he wasn’t going to spastically tweet the Golden Globes and he most definitely is, but I guess he was just moved to action.
Also, I forget where the VG chatroom is and is shit getting real over there? I know a lot of Monsters are live-blogging via Twitter…
Were they as crazy as his fake Conan/Jay election? because those were pretty cra-mazing.
I haven’t been seeing “cra-mazing” much lately. Thanks for bringing it back!
Is this live comment thread being simulcast in the Videogum chat room? And where is this Videogum chat room? WERTTREW WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?
http://videogum.com/chat/
I’m there now! Plus other monsters!
The chat is BURRRRNNNNING UP.
Hey, more love for Ricky Gervais. Man is a genius, and will probably be the only tolerable part of tonight.
Ok, after actually watching his hosting abilities… eh. Thank you Angelina Jolie for providing the punchline for every joke involving impoverished children.
My boyfriend looked at Tobey Maguire and said, “Oh, so that is what’s up with Topher Grace.”
Nice shot at Miriah, Tina.
Saying a woman’s hair looks like Leonardo DiCaprio is probably the strangest compliment I’ve ever heard.
Glad to know that Ricky Gervais would rather be masturbating than hosting the Golden globes. Setting the bar high!
Monique forgot to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press! Guess she won’t be back next year for Phat Girls 2 :[
excuse me it’s phat girlz
Yeah it is.
Well Im Just gonna say it:I think Its so sad to say “thank you god for this award” 5 days after one of the biggest catastrophies of all time
Why the hell can no one find their way to the stage? was this poor planning or what?
So adorable that Pete Docter was wearing a pop cap badge like the one from Up! I know V-Gum is very much Team Fantastic Mr. Fox (which is fantastic, obvs), but Up was so good!
i want to have tea with ricky gervais get it cause he’s british
Film related charities! No wonder Felicity Huffman isn’t wearing a Haiti bow.
“Up in the Air?”
Sounds like a movie about Conan’s future with NBC! Am I right?
every time Harrison Ford speaks I feel like I’m in trouble
“GET OFF MY PLANE!!!”
aw man. do you see how much trouble that guy is about to be in??!
The sad part is that he doesn’t even know.
I feel like I’m in trouble every time Harrison Ford speaks
Both! And me too.
karen o, robbed by an old man and a boy scout.
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I disagree with you, but I’m laughing. I feel funny…
it might have been better, but she made all kinds of animal noises, which was very brave. and I would have liked to see her acceptance speech.
has someone compiled a guide to the meanings of the patches on sir paul’s ensemble?
i tried josh but i believe i got censored
I;m on a good mood mission. so prepare for my meat-mobile
Hey, hear that music? It means stop talking.
Dear John, play her off
Is there a special award for a movie that would have been good if half of it were left on the cutting room floor?
I’m just going to get out there and say it, there hasn’t been enough Ricky.
Gabe, you can’t give us chat and then complain when we use it.
I agree but that board moves FAST. I’m not Japanese, I can’t keep up! Guess I’m just old school but I actually prefer this way.
Redacted! Once the chat room cleared out a little it was MUCH better. Kudos @wettrew who was the architect of the whole thing (I think).
Ricky should replace Cowell next year on American Idol.
do we give it to her for J&J or It’s Complicated? Such a Sophie’s Choice.
Ugh I just saw “It’s Complicated” with my parents. Old rich people giggling over Pinot Noir and Alec Baldwin? And the kid from Weeds is a terrible actor, as it turns out.
for jumping into the chat, Gabe. Here’s my comment for this thread!
I so have been to this pizza place! It sadly took me a long time to get it. But hey, I was drunker than Ricky Gervais at the time
I wish Abby Elliot was accepting for Meryl Streep instead. I’m realizing how spot on her impression was.
Also, anyone else would’ve been orchestra cut off by now.
Meryl may have been a little drunksies, but keyboard cat wouldn’t DARE
she had an anti-orchestra device concealed in her eiffel tower earrings.
GET OFF MY PLANE!
Damn internet!
Is this forever?
SINBAD. i will be watching this. no i wont. i will be reading recaps of this maybe if something interesting happens.
Where’s the vegan pie?
I’d like to thank God for the opportunity to comment on the Golden Globes.
According to the Official Rules, we drink now because you thanked God and/or your spouse for something anything
Ugh, Rod Blagoiavech. Yes, I mispelled his name. No, I don’t care.
Helen Mirren? More like Debbie Downer.
LIFE. LIFE is the word i picked for my journaling exercise this afternoon during tea time.
OMG, the British Meryl Streep!
a comment for thee, lonely comment thread.
did this just make six degrees of kevin bacon relevant again?
hollywood makes me believe that all actors are american and i get confused when they have a british/austrailian accent.
kevin bacon: thats to everyone at my table for turning a blind eye to the bowl i was smoking at the table.
6 Degrees of separation: Kevin Bacon to Ricky Gervais. GO.
kevin bacon was in the golden globes (2010) with ricky gervais.
Kevin Bacon was in Footloose with John Lithgow. Lithgow was on “3rd Rock from the Sun.” Tina Fey is on “30 Rock.” Shit. What was I doing?
Kevin Bacon to Robert De Niro (Sleepers) Robert De Niro to Ricky Gervais (Extras)
Or if you want to stick to movies, Robert DeNiro was in STARDUST with Ricky Gervais.
Haha, random Morgan Freeman wine chug.
kevin bacon: thats to everyone at my table for turning a blind eye to the bowl i was smoking at the table.
“lets take care of each other. peace. thank you”
Kevin Bacon
1964-2012
drew barrymore. a real hollywood success story. we can all be proud that she turned out all right and finally took home an award. and thanked mo’nique.
drew barrymores dress in made of the doozer buildings from fraggle rock. i hope there are led lights in it.
what is going on with drew barrymore’s..everything
she was a preteen coke addict before oversharing was cool. cut her a break.
Every time I hear about the Olympics, I’m going to think about Conan on Friday night.
“Shrek 4ever After?” So 12 year olds are making the movies now?
alec baldwin wins “best vagina grab” for its complicated, a movie which contains a scene in which he grabs meryl streep’s vagina.
He did a Vag Grab workshop with Jon Hamm to prep for the role.
I bet Tarantino would do a great Leno impression. That CHIN!
and the award for best childless spinster annoyed that ricky gervaise called her by the name of a character she played 10 years ago goes to gerard butler. sorry jen.
I think Tarantino should have won, if only for the line “Business is a-BOOMin!” So brilliantly Tarantino-y.
congrats to Devendra! up in the air!
is the economy really so bad that they couldn’t afford to give both of the writers a statue?
I would watch a documentary about George Clooney setting up a soundstage full of phone lines for a Haiti telethon.
*Awkward pause for those who couldn’t show.*
If Mathew Morrison wins an award, I’m going to vom.
Harrison Ford announcing: Indiana Jones 5: The Quest for the Lost Depend
What are you doing here, Harry Pot- Oh, Samuel L. Didn’t recognize you in those glasses.
he wore out of camaraderie with sophia loren
I feel like a total jackass for not seeing Inglorious Basterds yet
Do you feel like… BASTERD? ahahahahahahah, see what I did there?
i thought he said “real” and “life”
Inglourious Basterds should be nominated for Best Narrator, because Samuel L. Mother Fucking Jackson.
holy shit. even pete campbell has john hamm beard tonight.
500 days of TAYLOR!!!!!!!!!!!OMG
First they make Taylor appear without his abs, then Chace shows up without his bangs. Tweens everywhere weep.
christoph waltz is going to kill us all one day
where exactly is christoph pretending he isnt from?
2010: Year of the Beard
are they “fashion” or “we’re not shaving until the haiti crisis is solves/nbc stops screwing over conan” strike beards?
Playoffs.
Glee won! Somewhere, Soft Gabe is saying:

Outstanding!
I would have paid good imaginary money to see the Basterds storm Mel Gibson’s speech.
c’mon orchestra cats, just try to play Mike Tyson off the stage.
how the hell did glee win ANYTHING what my god
time to turn off the tv and care about the real world now
Seriously. I watched a couple episodes of Glee and it is so not funny. I don’t know why people like it so much
And there’s that one girl who is so annoying. Rachel Berry. Even her name sounds annoying.
I thought that foreigners just loved singing and dancing. But then they didn’t give an award to NINE. So there is some taste level at work here.
“And I’d like to thank my husband as my acting has been better since meeting you.”
Can your explain WHAT ABOUT STEVE THEN?
Does that mean Sandra Bullock has to practice acting more often in her personal/private life because she’s a philanderer?
oh RDJ, THE CHAMPION OF MY HEART.
Seriously, that was probably the best Golden Globe acceptance speech I have EVER. HEARD.
the dude abides
noooo Avatar and your stupid Papyrus type.
My God, everyone in the Best Picture and Best Director categories were robbed. Seriously, fuck Avatar.
Nobody cares, nerd.
Ugh James Cameron. Just UGH!
You know who the real Golden Globes winner of the night was? This guy:
For being married to Mad Men‘s Christina Hendricks. He gets to play with two golden globes of his own.*
*Apologies for the lameness/obviousness.
Every time James Cameron speaks I like his movies less. He’s the worst PR person in history.
also, why the hell wasn’t In The Loop nominated for best comedy/musical?

Malcolm Tucker disapproves.
…lubricated horse cocks aside.
Can someone please make a gif of when one of the audience cameras was on Drew Barrymore, and Jeremy Piven – no doubt sensing a camera was near but not on him – popped right into frame? Classic Piven.
I remember the days when James Cameron made great movies like Aliens and Terminator 1+2 and he didn’t whore himself to get promos. The world has changed!