Because this season of the Real World takes place in Hollywood, all of the housemates have an entertainment industry ambition. Brianna wants to sing. Dave wants to act. Will wants to produce. And Kim, Sarah, and Nick want to host television shows. And although I know it’s hard to imagine that he was ever even on something as pedestrian as a reality show because of how famous he is now, one only needs look at the post-Real World career comic-strip creator Judd Winick to see what a great launching pad the show can be for your talent.
Last night’s episodes dealt with two of these ambitions: Brianna’s music career, and the communal dream that Kim, Sarah, and Nick share to “host a TV show.” Because Brianna is boring, let’s just say someone lets her come into their studio and record a song that no one will ever hear in its entirety, unless she forces everyone to listen to it in the Real World Road Rules Challenge house next year. I mean, she can sing fine, but I promise you if Alicia Keys had tried to jumpstart her career by appearing on Made or some shit, the world would never have heard “No One.” Being on the Real World is like taking pre-med as an undergrad. Your life is decided for you, and it doesn’t involve being a successful recording artist.
Meanwhile, Kim, Sarah, and Nick take some steps towards “hosting a TV show.” I’m sorry, I don’t even know what that means. I mean, I’ve seen TV shows that are hosted by people, but unless you’re Ryan Seacrest it’s weird to have that as your goal. The whole concept just makes me think of that kid in Todd Solondz’s Storytelling whose only goal in life was to be on Late Night with Conan O’Brien. So the three of them get an internship at movies.com, where they produce a segment interviewing people outside of a movie theater about what they thought of the movie, which they’re all really excited about because I guess they think that’s how you get to have a TV show. It sounds like a nightmare to me, but that’s because I wrote myself a check on my 18th birthday in the amount of never having to interview people outside of a movie theater about what they thought of the movie, and I’m happy to say I was able to cash that check today.
Because everything’s going so well for everyone, the girls go out drinking, which leads to barfing, which leads to BRUTAL HONESTY. Now, I agree that former roommate Greg was a monster, but I’m starting to get the impression that Sarah and Kim have some unresolved issues with black people.
Haha. Yeah, who do you think you are, the first famous black guy I can think of? It’s funny when people are racist in really confusing ways that aren’t even necessarily offensive or hurtful, but definitely let you know where that person stands on the issue of whether or not they’re terrible. And what is up with Nick’s confessional gang. “You guys, let’s put on our toughest outfits and go into the confessional room. Just three badasses talking about their feelings.”
Oh, and then Kim’s, Sarah’s, and Nick’s mentor at movies.com, Brendan, dies of cancer, which is sad. But Nick is going to carry on with his pursuit of hosting a web-based interview segment about movies, because he knows that’s what Brendan would want. Nice.