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Look, I know that when Lindsay left Videogum (it is Christmastime, so we say things like “left”) the coverage of God’s little miracles dropped precipitously. While I am sure that this was upsetting to some of you, surely even the most upset can understand that it is virtually impossible for an 83-year-old man to keep up with the latest trends in tiny darlings. When I was your age, the closest we came to a YouTube of a Pygmy Gerboa was we had a couple of boars chained to sticks, and one time a diseased wolf came into the village. It’s just not my strong suit, and I have always been of a mind that if you cannot cover how cute tiny animals are well, then you should not cover how cute tiny animals are at all. It’s called Journalistic Integrity, probably, and I have it, maybe. In any case, this list of the Cutest Animals of 2009 is in honor of Lindsay Robertson, and a peace-offering to the cuteheads out there. It’s not like I don’t recognize NATURAL BEAUTY when I see it, it’s just that you can only type “awww” so many times before your keyboard wears out, and I need that “w” for typing “worst.”
After the jump, THE 13 CUTEST ANIMALS OF 2009!
This list is in order, determined by scientists. So if you think that some of the rankings are incorrect, you are wrong. And if there is an animal that you believe should be on this list that is not on this list, scientifically that animal was just not cute enough. Sorry. It’s not my fault! Blame this guy!
13. Keyboard Otter!
Awwwwww! So cute!
12. Waving Bears!
Awwwwww! So cute!
11. Monkey Pool Party!
Awwwwww! So cute!
10. Squirrel with a Yogurt Cup on His Head!
Awwwwww! So cute!
9. Stains!
Awwwwww! So cute!
8. Sofa Cat!
Awwwwww! So cute!
7. Hedgehog Eats a Carrot!
Awwwwww! So cute!
6. Foxes on a Trampoline!
Awwwwww! So cute!
5. Gerbil Eats a Pencil! Haha!
Awwwwww! So cute!
4. Baby Wolf Learning To Howl!
Awwwwww! So cute!
3. Pygmy Jerboat!
Awwwwww! So cute!
2. Surprised Kitty!
Awwwwww! So cute!
1. Slow Loris!
Awwwwww! The cutest!
What a cute year. Good luck being this cute, 2010. (But please try to be at least this cute or cuter, thanks.)
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#1 on the Best Best-of Lists of 2009.
I do believe you mean: “#1 on the Best Best-of-2009-Lists of 2009 List.”
2009 truly belonged to the cute animals.
Awwwwww! Those were so cute.
The loris is adorable. I love how he (she?) quickly goes from sadness to sheer joy in a matter of tickles.
I thought the transition was more from “sad clown” to “demented clown.”
Surprised kitty not #1? Looks like that slow loris has been tickling your wallet, Gabe.
That squirrel died of starvation. Real cute, Gabe. Real cute.
God, that kitten is the cutest cat I’ve ever seen. Sorry, my cats!
Any small, furry animal that weighs 3.2 grams is pretty much a shoe-in for “cutest”.
That pygmy one still creeps me out!
Aw, I still love it. It’s like a real life Pokemon!
For those of you guys who didn?t know, Gabe and Max Silvestri?s sketch on the Internet was named by Huffington Post as one of the 20 best sketches of the decade: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/12/22/funniest-sketches-decade_n_398850.html?page=5
Congrats to Gabe and Max!
Also, about a week ago Gabe and Max posted their year-in-review 100 Seconds clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1g7A3iWqT4E
I love Monkey Pool Party. I’m thinking about throwing one next year for my birthday. I’m going to invite all the monkeys!
Yeah Surprised Kitty is the best. Loris is cute too. The waving bears made me laugh aloud!
Surprised kitty got robbed!!!
cute animals, they really make you forget how easily they’ll kill in cold blood.
Also, this little guy is TOO CUTE: a whistling puppy!
Guaranteed to wear out your Ws and As.
when youre right turns out, youre right.
I love the list, but there should have been a fourteenth spot so you could fit in Maru, the cat that jumps in boxes. I cannot believe there is no Maru!
Cat of the decade!
Awwwwww! So cute!
Buwaahahaha! I remember that!
Man, it’s still weirding me out that Seth Rogen is so skinny.
That?s a situation right there.
You know how you get numb to your favorite pr0n after seeing it too many times? I try to keep my viewing of this pic to once a week, so STOP. (or don’t, tough times, they come a’knockin’, and it’s the HOLIDAYZ! I’ll allow it and I’ll also brb if you know what I mean)
You need to save some of your Ws for JWOWW.
You had me at jerboat.
SPOILER: Cats and Dogs set photo
DAMN YOU PYGMY JERBOAT! YOU CONTINUE TO HAUNT MY DREAMS!!!
he could at least buy some sheets with all of that money.
lazy
Stains 4 Prez
“I know that when Lindsay left Videogum….the coverage of God’s little miracles dropped precipitously.”
As did Videogum’s coverage of all things related to Jon Hamm. I’m still bitter about that. But if you need a Jon Hamm correspondent, you know where to find me.
Oh man, am I the only one that gets sad at half of these videos?
“Hey bears! Dance your your food so that you may please us! For we are tourists who have decended from our ivory bus liner and wish to be amused, post haste.”
I see it as more of a win-win, the animals do something adorable but that takes minimal effort, they get a snack. I used to do the same thing as a waitress with low cut blouses.
Demeaning, yes, but who doesn’t like snacks?
I was mauled by a neighbor’s dog when I was in 5th grade (for real) which desensitized me to all animal cuteness. I still watched these for the bj tips. Thanks, gerbil.
I could never own a pygmy jerboat for fear of crushing it from too much love-love.
I agree except NO WAY is surprise kitty second to slow loris! Surprise Kitty is second to nothing.
i gots what dey need
Pretty respectable list but this thread needs more pictures of little bats nomming on fruit….
FUUCK I miss LINDSAY GODDAMNIT.
I’M ON A JERBOAT!
(Topical humor! Perfect.)
No picture of Topher Grace?
List FAIL.
you guys you guys you guys! unrelated, but i had a nightmare last night where my boss joined videogum & i couldn’t comment anymore.
(I had a dream that my [real] year-end performance review was largely based on the score of my videogum comments)
your boss would know you avatar and username (I’m assuming that your name isn’t bird)? awesome. AWESOME TO THE MAXX
I almost got fired in real life b/c of Videogum so there’s that too…
#4 — that man’s son is so cute! learning how to talk, and stuff… aw
if this list existed last year, (did it? I don’t remember it) this totally would’ve won:
RACCOON HOUSE PARTY!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iPNwMXDJe8
did anyone find that Jerboat thing CREEPY AS HELL?!
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I’m late to the game as I was spending time with family last week, but here are my observations:
No. 1: That otter sucks at playing the keyboard.
No. 2: The squirrel video should be a PSA against the dangers of littering.
No. 3: The jerboa is just a head with legs.
That is all.