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Your girlfriend definitely charmed you with her feminine wiles. You’re the first to admit that. At the beginning of your relationship, it was a game of cat and mouse, but that was part of the fun. She was probably more interested in proving that she could get you than she was actually interested in you as a person. But that was before you guys got to know each other, and before you fell in love, and were a very serious couple, which you are, who makes love constantly. And so it’s not like you don’t understand, now that your relationship has matured into something more intimate but also more predictable that sometimes she wants to regain that earlier rush of a woman deeply in touch with her femininity and sexuality getting what she wants. Ultimately, her flirtation with a cop who pulls her over on a routine traffic stop in an attempt to get out of the ticket is harmless, and if anything, the way she toys with him turns you on.
You are so hard right now! (Yuck. Sorry. But you are.) It’s crazy how she can just turn it on, you know? (Thanks for the tip, Edith.)
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Jesus, you’d think somebody just Helen Hunted this lady out of a third story window.
In America, you’d be tased by now.
not advocating, just speaking the sad confused truth.
for about 5 seconds I thought she had been tased
“You are so hard right now” is one thing i NEVERWANTTOREADONHEREEVERAGAINPLEASE
Sorry, but you are.
Yeah, if you don’t want to see it on here ever again, stop being so hard right now.
Does it mean I’m hard when my ears bleed? Because I’m hemorrhaging an ear boner over here right now.
What Gabe isn’t telling you is that starting January 1, this website is changing its name to erectiongum, and all of the jokes are going to be boner jokes.
And racist jokes about Japanese politics.
Agh, that was horrible! I’d rather watch Snooki get punched in the face all day.
Same! but than again, I’d rather watch that than watch most things.
This should be the soundtrack to Jersey Shore.
And here I am, thinking that ‘mom jeans’ went out of style, when apparently they’ve been hiding out in some eastern block nation, plotting their return since the mid nineties…
The Mom-cut linen pant will never go out of style!
In her defense, just behind the camera, The Beatles were performing at The Ed Sullivan Theater in 1964.
These are also her sex noises.
Ha Ha Ha!
Ahh! That was so disturbing!
You’d think she was being murdered with a blunt axe.
That noise: I do not want it in my ears.
good lord, how much was that ticket for?
Should I apologize if I’m not hard?
No, call your doctor.
Also applicable to those who are still tres fort. For once, I don’t have to apologize for my french.
also, call you doctor if you get hard and are still hard after 8 or so hours.
are you going to ask him this time?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DOGbmM1SE4
That was like the scene in Raising Arizona when John Goodman and William Forsythe realize they left the baby on the roof of the station wagon….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5p4lIqrd9NM
What, you couldn’t get a picture?
Also, no it wasn’t. Raising Arizona is funny.
Headphones down!!
Ugh, guy, just LEAVE HER THERE.
it’s terrifying, really.
yikes
I’m glad we’re all SANE.
“Ma’am, if you continue getting everyone so hard, we’ll have no choice to but to arrest you.” That’s what the cops said to her just there.
Yay. Now my neighbors think I’m either beating a lady to death, or I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO hard right now.
My Russian isn’t great, but i think at the end it’s…
GUY: Look here, officer, see what you’ve done?
OFFICER: Do not even try to pin that shit on me.
What happens when the riot-hose gets away from police. I wonder how the bf managed to turn the faucet off.
I didn’t even realize that vaginas could get so hard until I watched this video and you told me so. Now I know. It’s like steel down there.
total wide on time.
I just sent that video to everybody.
Plus, I’m so hard right now.
If you guys ever saw me trying to deal with a spider, you’d be SO HARD right now, as this is my exact reaction. And I am a grown man.
Arachnophilia: it exists!
Isn’t this her audition footage for Jurassic Park 3? She nailed the colossal raptor!
This is actually a pretty good summation of how I’ve felt on the inside any time I’ve watched the news this week.
My inner catharsis is so hard right now.
In Soviet Russia, tantrum throws you (face down into the dirt, getting your white pants and tiger print blouse all messy).
[If you had told me this morning that this would be the day that I made 2 Yakov Smirnoff jokes, I'd have said you were crazy]
That is the sound I made when I got a fifteen minute detention in the second grade.
if she was going to make the effort to have the remote in her hand, I don’t understand why she wouldn’t complete the freakout.
Someone give me a ticket, cause I am sooooo hard right now.
We are going to have such well-behaved children after our wedding tomorrow.
Women be yelling
This was basically my reaction when I realized I couldn’t make the VG Pizza Party.
Let me tell you, this website has, for some of us, always been a place of discomforting tumescence. It sure has for me ever since I Googled this Gabriel Delahaye character and found a bunch of tasteful (yet saucy) pinup photos.
Yeah, and if the next pizza party could NOT be held within 1000 feet of a school zone, that would be really considerate, YOU GUYS.
The Worst.
I would have grabbed the cop’s revolver and killed her if she were my girlfriend.
Perhaps I can help. My Internet speaks Russian, and I ran this video through Babelfish. Here?s the translation:
WOMAN: I am offended. Your paper is stupid for my signature.
POLICE OFFICER: Please, ma?am. One signature is all for to fair penalize.
WOMAN: You make nonsense, I?ll punch your face.
POLICE OFFICER: Please slow down your crazy.
WOMAN: Your face it?s getting punched.
CAMERAMAN: Please don?t cry. You?ll ruin your sexy.
WOMAN: What do you mean?
CAMERAMAN: Beauty is fleeting. Pain is truth. War and Peace. Crime and Punishment. The Seagull.
WOMAN: SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM
MAN IN RED SHIRT: Her crazy is so fast. Vodka. The Kremlin.
POLICE OFFICER: In Soviet Russia, snowclone snowclones you.
CAMERAMAN: Andrei, don’t interrupt.
That’s pretty accurate, except when she’s screaming, she’s actually calling to the Morlocks to tunnel up and rescue her
Somebody’s been practicing in front of their bedroom mirror!
We’re gonna need a bigger Exorcist.