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It’s like a Snuggie for your throat! (Boo!)
Obviously this product is great on its own, what with its convenient foldability-pouch and its very stylish look (leopard? Where am I, MILAN?) that goes with any outfit (as long as that outfit is ill-fitting and costs less than 20 dollars). But what I think is most important about this ad is how good of a job it does at showing us just how shitty scarves are. Ew, don’t you guys HATE scarves? They’re always being slammed in van doors, or you’re just fumbling with them forever. “I wish this scarf wasn’t such a fucking nightmare!” Who hasn’t caught themselves saying that every time they step outside in the winter? You’re going to tell me that technology can create photorealistic, life-like dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park movies but we still can’t have a scarf that doesn’t do everything wrong? “There’s a scarf in this peanut butter, OF COURSE.” Well, until now! Thanks, Necky. (Necky even sounds better than scarf. Scarf, come on. What am I? A terrorist?) FUCK SCARVES, 4 REAL. (Thanks for the tip, Matt.)
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You KNOW you gotta protect that gaping scarf hole.
i, personally, stick my head through the armhole of my snuggie and i’m good to go.
I hear if you stick your arms through the head-holes of two neckys it’s like a snuggie but with even more mobility! Now you can hug your child/feed your dog/read a book/clean the car/go on a date without having to deal with those cumbersome snuggies! Revolution!
The tagline here in Britain for this is ‘Bloody Hecky! It’s the Necky’. (This may not be true)
I’ll take two.
Dad?
I’d rather go naked than wear leopard necky.
Great! Another thing to leave behind at the bar.
You obviously weren’t listening. Since they go right in your pocket, you won’t lose ‘em!
If there is one size of object that guarantees you won’t lose said object, it’s gotta be pocket size, right?
Right, because the smaller something is, the less likely kids are to lose it. FACT.
At this point, they’re just coming up with ridiculous shit so irony-humping hipsters will buy it.
American Apparel will have a naked hipster wearing one in day-glo by the end of the week. If I were better at the internet I would have photoshopped this picture into existence, but I’m just gonna let your imaginations run free! I think “imaginations” are what people used before the internet. Not sure, could just be a rumor.
PS: I’m new! Let’s be friends?
I don’t think it’s ridiculous! Scarves do leave scarf-holes. I would totes get one if I had a credit card…
This weekend, my city was the second-coldest place on the PLANET (-49′C). I managed to get through it with just a basic scarf. Pro-tip: don’t only zip up to mid-chest like these bozos.
That said, this actually could be a good product for kids, or skiing and sledding and such when no one sees what’s under your coat.
Totally true. It’s not a ridiculous product, it’s brilliant marketing. I have so many friends who are like “how do these things make money? Who buys these haha? PS i bought them for all of my friends for Christmas!”
I am all “…Yeah nobody buys them.”
Can’t wait for the Cockie. It gets quite cold in Canada, you got to protect the bits.
putting “i” infront of apple products is the equivelent of putting “y” at the end of douchebag products
You want your douchebag to douche you good, but no matter how hard you squeeze or how long you fumble, they always seem to get stuck in the car door! WHAT A HASSLE!!! Introducing the Douchebaggy(TM), the world’s first douche designed to keep your cavities super douched without getting in the way. Simply attach the douchebaggy to your leg and it douches you HARD all day. Douche at work, on the go, or even in the comfort of your own home. The Douchebaggy is available in clear, link pink but mostly clear, AND designer leopard. As a bonus, you’ll also receiver our light-up key chain/butter wand.
I could give two shits about a fleece dickie, but that lock de-icer looks TIGHT.
I live in Las Vegas so I have no idea what a scarf or defroster is. Is 9.95 a good price for those things?
It’s tough to imagine a world in which $9.95 is a bad price for 4 of anything, but I seem to have found it.
doubles as a bib!
Pull it up and you got yourself a beard. Tighten it up and you’re covered with a broken neck. I’m slowly backing off my “not worth $9.95″ stance.
A turtleneck bib? Yes, please.
To be perfectly honest, they actually look pretty normal and not ridiculous when you have a coat over them. Like I wouldn’t even notice someone was wearing one if I passed them on the street. Of course, once you take the coat off you’re basically wearing a turtleneck-bib, and then you notice all your friends have left.
My first thought was, “Isn’t that a dickie?” Then I wondered what that guy was putting around his neck.
just think how prominently this product could have been featured in 80′s sitcoms to hide teenagers’ hickeys.
Ugh, don’t even get me started on the accoutrements of a gentleman’s winter wardrobe.
I’m very confused as to why Mr. Frumble, the lovable Richard Scarry character who keeps losing his hat, is garnering so much ire. An upvote to you, sir!
Now I never have to look cool again! Thanks Necky!
My favorite part was that they aren’t just leopard, but designer leopard. Like they found the plans for these locked in one of Coco Chanel’s old forgotten steamer trunks.
No, the best part is the way the female announcer’s voice slightly raises in excitement when she says “AND designer leopard!” Although I don’t know why she’s trying so hard to emphasize the leopard Necky. That’s the one I was going to buy anyways for my vacation to Cougartown this winter.
My favorite part was when they told me leopard was now a color.
They took a lot of inspiration from Miss Chanel
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Necky is the new rock and roll! is that a snowclone? am i playing this game right?
“I know these violent winter winds are threatening to erode the nose off my face like the Sphinx of Egypt, BUT I MUST MAKE THIS BIRDHOUSE TODAY!!!” – That guy.
They had me at designer leopard.
oh yeah? can necky do this??
ya burnt!
The Mrs. and I have lost too many children to count due to shoddy scarves. Maybe we can finally start a family now.
Sounds like you started a family just fine, it was the finishing that caused a problem.
If I wear a necky, what am I supposed to tie up the hooker with? And don’t say my belt, because I need that to choke myself while I do other stuff.
I’m going to use the second necky to cover up the gap between my sleeve and my We’re Number One hand.
This Christmas, every hipster wants a Necky made of ShamWow. You know, ironically.
make a tuxedo version and my gaping hole will pucker and warm with delight-
Always
Be
Catching the big game
The game that was so big that only 9 people came.
Wait, is this a game or a Windows Launch Party?
Always
Be
Chanting Rowsdower
While not Catching the Big Cold!
My problem with scarves is that I often have a ‘gap’ at the back of my neck! So there’s a flaw with this necky thing.
Wear two!
I used to wear one of these in HS when it was really cold out. No one else had one. My mom claimed that these “Dickies” were normal/Super Cool in the 70′s, when people were trying to do stuff easier, and scarves just didn’t fit into the Leisure Suit (nor the lifestyle) as well as the small front and back bibs do.
In any event, yeah, my friends laughed at me and what they assumed I had made up or just made myself out of a beat up turtleneck. The name’s synchronicity with my own didn’t help. :\
You know how when you look back on those sci-fi books from the 80′s about the year 2000, and you are like “ah, we don’t have flying cars!”
well an innovation like this just goes to show you that we should have flying cars. to be run over by.
My scarf and I just got into a big fight after we finished watching that infomercial. He was all like “Do people really think that scarves are inadequate in that way?” and I was all like “No, sweety! That’s just a stereotype brought on by the media.” He didn’t believe me so I’m staying at my mom’s for a while.
New from the makers of the Snuggie and the Necky:
Introducing the Tauntauny! For those times when you’re stuck in a blizzard and can’t deal with those horrible coats!
I’m angry that I’ve wasted so many years NOT designing products for retarded people.
“If only this scarf didn’t have all this extra length that couldn’t possibly have any extra function – such as providing further coverage of my neck and chest – besides getting stuck in car doors. At least I have $19.95 plus shipping and handling to save myself from this hell. What? I already spent it on the Toilet Paper Wand? FUCK.”
I hate it when my scarf gets stuck in the car door! Oh, wait. THAT NEVER ACTUALLY HAPPENS.
Oh dude, they wore these in “The Hurt Locker”
Badass.
Weezer is working around the clock to make sure their branded Necky is ready by 2012.
Oh man, the guy who invented Dickies is gonna be SO pissed.