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Before you say anything about this week’s Saturday Night Live, I think it’s important to remember that Taylor Lautner is 17 years old. A child! A tiny little baby child! Do you remember what you were like when you were 17 years old? I, of course, had already been in the army for a year after lying to recruiters about my age in order to get into The War. But I think most of us were not exactly television-ready. I’m not saying that Taylor Lautner is television ready either. But he seems nice enough. You can easily imagine him, 30 pounds of lean muscle mass lighter, and no history of carrying the adolescent sexual desires of millions of teenage girls on his unnaturally thickened and Photoshop Fur Filter-enhanced shoulders, happily enjoying himself as a normal high school student who started his own Amateur Magicians Club.
But he is not a high school student. He is Taylor Lautner. And he hosted Saturday Night Live. Oh well.
Strangely enough, the opening monologue was one of the better opening monologues of the season. I mean, yes, everyone worked very hard to squeeze in a Kanye West VMAs joke about three months after we all agreed not to do that anymore. But at least this Kanye West VMAs joke included karate skillz.
Between Taylor Lautner and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Saturday Night LIve is clearly going for a lock on this year’s Best Late Night Backflips Emmy. So many backflips?
This sketch was fine. You know, funny faces. Classic.
SIDENOTE: musical guest Jon Bon Jovi? Is it just me, or does it feel like Saturday Night Live is booking their musical guests as if America just suffered a nuclear attack and they have to pick from the decimated ranks of survivors. And how come only people in their 50s survived? Get out of here, Jon Bon Jovi, and take Dave Matthews and U2 with you.
Kristen Wiig brought this old standby back. I like this old standby. Where has this old standby been?
But probably the best sketch of the night was the Team Edward/Team Jacob lab partners sketch. Nah doy.
Whatever, you know? Some of us don’t have time to put together a great show because we are too busy getting RIPPPPPPPED. Taylor Lautner is right, he does deserve an Oscar for his abs. His rock hard, tiny baby 17-year-old child of wonder and innocence abs that have been cruelly carved from a doughy, nerdy, would be amateur magician (probably) by the greedy hand of Hollywood. I’m surprised he had time to show up at all. Luckily for him (luckily for him?), gyms in New York are open LATE.
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Would have been better if he had hosted as a giant wolf
I laffed really hard at the doorbell sketch. “Are you religous? [pushes button] Happy birthday Jesus. Deng Dong – HiLo.“
do you like animals? Ding dong, woof! Bears.
yeah, for realz the doorbell sketch was great. Jenny Slate FTW!
Watching him reminded me of watching kids put on a play for you while you’re babysitting.
I am getting a weird Tom Cruise vibe from Taylor Lautner- and I am not talking about his height. Maybe it is nothing and just the whole magician/ AV club thing. Or maybe, he wears a thin synthetic skin over his face hiding the carnivorous reptile below.
Maybe we’ll just have to wait for Bill Hader’s tell-all SNL expose when he tells the story about that time when the “not-even-legal werewolf kid” refused to practice his lines during the week because “rehearsing is for the gays”…..
Or the time he stuck into his dressing room only to see him eating Guinea Pigs whole.
if by this you mean you get a gay vibe that stretches far beyond this skit then i agree. He is a tiny gay seventeen year old. also ontd
Amateur Magicians Club? I thought that was his street team? Or am I thinking of Daniel Radcliffe? Which one was Harry Potter?
I should pay more attention.
I guess Lautner is the least offensive one of the whole Twilight bunch. Sad I can even say that.
I hate to say this, but Robert Pattinson is becoming increasingly endearing to me, with his open hatred and contempt for the “Twilight” franchise. Especially with gems like this: “I was convinced…that Stephenie was convinced…that she was Bella…and it was like a book that wasn’t supposed to be published. “
I agree with this. I don’t know why everyone is so bothered by him. The few things I’ve read about him have pointed toward him being aware of how horrible Twilight is and how crazy and scary the fans are. Plus he’s so awkward, it’s hard to feel any ill will toward him. My sister sent me some interview of his that cracked her up and he was just like, I don’t get the appeal of these books, I thought they were terrible when I first read them.
Based on monologues, my guess for the next host is a dude from a parkour video. Probably will be the best host of the season anyway. Those dudes are awesome.
This guy?
Haha, he was totes trying to kick Kanye’s head off and missed twice. Good recovery with the frustrated backhanded head punch though!
Really, SNL?! You actually have Jon Bon Jovi on your show and you don’t take advantage of the situation and give us some uber-meta Jon Bovi action? Really, SNL?! Really?
My thoughts exactly. It must have been because having the two groups meet would surely lead to some sort of metaphysical chain reaction, effectively canceling both parties out of existence across all of space-time. Or Bon Jovi is a serious-business douchebag.
He can’t stand it when they re-arrange his songs!
But their best number’s not even a Bon Jovi song…
“If you hate it then you shouldn’t put a broach on it…”
It’s true, the guy is not a “movie star” in the true sense of the word(s), but yeah, he seems like a good enough kid, so I wish him well in his future Lifetime Network ventures such as “Dial M for Muscular” in his role as Boyishly Handsome Architect.
And maybe it was just me, but Keenan had me chuckling a man’s chuckle during the whole frozen yogurt sketch…
I thought the whole eternal love sketch with Kenan was the best of the night, I loved watching him back and forth on the moving walk way as things just got weirder and weirder….
I think Hulu has gone a little crazy. When I clicked on the lab partners sketch it told me that “The following is an excerpt from NC-17 material and is for a mature audience only”. Is SNL showing softcore porn now? With 17 year olds? So basically SNL is a kiddie porn ring? Chris Hanson is going to be all over this.
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Too bad that Taylor isn’t old enough to watch his funniest sketch on Hulu.
Did anybody else have to enter their birth date in order to watch a sketch about Twilight?
Yes. What was NC17 about that clip? A dude cross-dressing and making out with a picture of his co-star? Gross.
Taylor Swift was 19 when she hosted. She turned 20 yesterday! Today is MY birthday!
Happy birthday!
Thanks werttrew! That other guy got +14 for saying fake… I dunno if he thinks you’re faking or I am. But I wasn’t.
fake.
For someone born in the 1990′s, I think he was delightful.
And I’m going to marry him (NO! YOU go to jail!!!!).
I think the doorbell sketch was the best. Gabe, it’s OK, you can say your friend’s sketch is the best. Don’t let these monsters get to you.
Jenny Slate’s performance in the lab partners sketch reminded me of Paul Scheer. Hilarious!
I’m on Team Wheneverthatkidturns18.
Wait. He’s not legal? (Angry face!) He lied to me!
I laughed harder at Bon Jovi’s performance than any of the sketches, honestly.
So in other news, my dad made a kanye west vma joke friday night. At first I thought ‘what a lame-o’ but now I realize hes got his finger on the pulse of todays recurring joke demographic.
Kanye West is such a visionary that he intentionally made that remark knowing that it would be the joke to refill the glass of mediocrity for the masses to consume… like Batman at the end of The Dark Knight, someone has to be the enemy and someone has to be the hero….either that or he’s a giant douche bag.
if taking of one’s shirt is a requirement to host SNL, why not ask this guy:
I don’t know if you know karate though..:(
OH DAMMIT, why didn’t anybody tell me he was 17! I assumed he was 29 like all “teen” stars and have been making gross comments about him this whole time! The Age of Consent is 16 here, does that make me less of a creep? Or just less of a would-be rapist?
Saturday, SNL was hosted by a 17 year old werewolf. Its official, MLIT
Can I ask a question here, please? Why do we discuss SNL every week? I get it, that this is the SNL thread, but why does the thread exist at all? This show is terrible and unfunny. Really! It is! SNL is like the comedy show for your parents (yes, YOUR parents, mine go to bed early). I just wonder why this show keeps popping up on Videogum week after week, when there are so many other shows more interesting to talk about. Why? Why!
I am a supreme lurker here at videogum and I wonder every week why this show is discussed like it is a real, relevant, funny show. I tried watching a couple of episodes with my friend the other night and after about 10 minutes of awful silence she goes, “Am I crazy? Or this really not funny at all?” Sweet relief.
IS this?
Jesus.
I’d totally bang that Team Edward chick.
“Szeinter Clowse get dowwwn. Szeinter Clowse get doowwwwn. Get down my chimney. OW!” really did it for me.
“Best services Service is our Lift”
You might wanna work on that engrish, buddy