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There is a scene in a new Playstation 3 game called Dragon’s Age: Origins that some nerds have discovered (as if anyone else discovers anything) where if you enter the right combination of verbal responses to an elf’s leading suggestions, your elf and this other elf, both men elves (men elves? Sure!) start, you know, SEXTing IRL. Personally, my favorite part, besides the music and also the fact that it exists, is how they have their gay-elf-nerd sex next to a roaring fire but when they are…you know…done, they take their gay-elf-nerd leave of each other and there are clearly lots of people (“people”) standing around? Including one warrior who is made of electricity or whatever? In the Magic Dragon Forest, elves just go for it out in the open, and they do not care what kind of Enchanted Warriors might be standing watch two feet away. I guess it makes sense, though, that two gay-elf-nerd warriors can have anal sex out in the open because people and/or mythological beasts are just a lot cooler with it over in the Magic Dragon Sex Forest than they are here.
Watch the gay elf nerd sex scene from Dragon’s Age: Origins after the jump:
I’m kind of glad that this is happening now instead of a few years ago when it would be wall-to-wall “Brokeback Dragons” references, or whatever. Remember that? How in 2006, everything even remotely gay-themed was “Brokeback”? That was annoying! Although, I do think it would be funny for someone to say “I wish I knew how to save and quit you!” But no one is going to say that. (Via Dlisted.)
P.S. Good Morning, Vietnam!
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Hmmm, I haven’t reached this point on the 360 version I have yet… Is there another option?
This does, however bring back fond memories of mass effect, and all the love triangles and lesbian and hetero sex scenes the multiple characters and storylines produced. (It was one scene at the end of the gameplay, but based on your character’s sex, it produces different options for love interests… in space.)
Although in Mass effect, the LOVE IS REAL
Not that hit it and quit it broke(bare)back garbage
Oh Bioware (the company that made Mass Effect and Dragon Age), when will your PG-13 SHENANIGANS cease? I should add (nerd disclaimer!) that that little gay elf is actually a little bisexual elf, and will sext whoever is your main character if you play your cards right. Your main character can be a male or female elf, human, or dwarf (yes, gay dwarf sex is possible, I think! I wouldn’t know though, because I’m not a deviant).
Mass Effect 2 is coming soon, which means more alien sex, and even a crazy tatted up chick (who you most likely will be able to get freaky with) because this is Bioware, and they are destroying our nation’s youth one little bi elf at a time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsefCmNAQR4
Haha BioWare is from my hometown! Sexy Canadian nerds, polluting the youth of America!
You can have sex with half the characters in that game. I’m pretty sure you can have a four-way at some point with that blonde elf guy and two ladies. This is a thing that exists that people enjoy.
Myself included. The game, not the sexing in the game.
Yea but just as in real life you have to sit through tons of monotanous dialogue about stuff you don’t care about first.
It makes me so happy that other people who frequent this site have actually played this. For the record (someone is keeping a record of this, right?) I did not sex the elf, and I laughed out loud when I sexed the witch.
Ok, Gabe, I am awake now! Thank you very much!
Instead we can use current Gay events, like refusing to pledge allegiance to the Magic Dragon Forest until these gay-elf-nerds can have sex in it.
Or Charlize Theron can refuse to get married until gay-elf-nerds have the same rights, and also get to have gay elf nerd sex on the steps of the Capitol.
Tom Cruise will bring ice cream. You know, just in case there are no gay elves there.
The blonde, vaguely European guy can’t seem to shut up, the other one is silent and unbearably randy…it’s like every sexual experience i’ve ever had (minus the blonde European guy).
The idea that dragons that would normally just eat your ass are more tolerant than most Americans should be more surprising.
I’m pretty sure there was some ass eating going on there, so lets not give the dragons too much credit.
Prince of the Universe should get credit for the alley-oop.
I think these guys would enjoy their ass being eaten by a dragon.
This is what I get for not refreshing my browser…
I would love to be in the room when the frat boys decide “DURR LETS MAKE EM GAY” only to then get hit with the unexpected tighty-whities cutscene and the pandemonium that ensues.
That’s totally the music that plays when I have gay sex in the forest, too.
T. Cruise is definitely not playing this game.
It’s nice that they kept it true to Tolkien’s original vision, though, isn’t it?
No Frodo.
I see what you did there.
Christmas came early this year!
(Just like that elf. [sorry.])
don’t you every apologize for the beautiful things you say.
The next time I end a relationship, I’m totally using the “I was born of a whore and bred as an assassin” line. So much more specific than “It’s not you, it’s me.”
Wow. I feel bad for handsome brunette ranger guy. Blond elf slut! What does he know of love? His mama was a whore and his papa was a rodeo. MAYBE YOU’RE JUST TOO AFRAID TO LOVE! coward.
but could he play the guitar and rope a steer before he learned to stand?
Am I the only person who finds the barking dog hilarious?
its true. hilarious and possibly ominous.
Oy Vey! Those Elves are Gay!
New Party Game: Gay Video Game Titles
Gay-lo 3
Gays of Steel
Sonic the Dickhog
Pack-men
Tetris
Super Mario Butt Plug
Mike Tyson’s Donkey Punch Out
can i stop now please?
I Heart Melfs!
Cross this game off Tom Cruise’s Christmas list.
Hot
Are you sure this isn’t a deleted scene from Beowolf?
Beowulf would not be caught dead in tighty whiteys. If he fghts monsters naked, he surely doesn’t have gay-elf-nerd sex that way.
something something tom cruise something this game something.
so even in video game fantasy worlds Fats&Fems are still scorned out of the equation. When will it be THEIR time?!
I don’t think Antonio Banderas will be happy that his voice was used for Elven Shenanigans.
UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT B A STAAARRRHHHAAAHHH
“I was born of a whore and bred as an assassin but what I really want to be is a dentist.”