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Today’s Best New Party Game is inspired by the Clash of the Titans teaser trailer, which reader Samir points out has a very clever tag-line!
Really? REALLY? The tag-line for Clash of the Titans is “Titans Will Clash!”?!
A++, Hollywood. Extra credit! “Show your work!”
When I was in junior high school, in the mid-1920s, my “language arts” teacher told us to make “reading” posters that promoted reading, which would then hang in the hallway. Everyone worked all week on these things, and on Friday we had to present them to the rest of the class. Good assignment! One kid, named Edward, who looked like a scarecrow and whose dad legendarily asked the teacher if he could read computer programming manuals for his book reviews, walked up to the front of the class with a folded piece of red construction paper, which he dramatically unfolded, and in giant, thin letters, written in pencil, the paper just said “READ.” That is what this tag-line reminds me of, except that Edward’s poster was very funny (let’s just say that it was as funny as the teacher was mad) while this tag-line is just very lazy.
Anyway, you know how this goes:
- Private Ryan Will Be Saved!
- He Will Report And Also Observe!
- The Wild Things Are Here!
- Spinal Tap Is This!
It appears like the student has become the player of this game!
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This gangster is american
A Story That Will Never End.
These Boys Are Bad!
The Boys just got Bad again.
This summer, this gigolo is male!! And in Europe!! And has a last name that rhymes with his profession!! Isn’t that convenient??
The Patient will be English
The apocalypse will be happening now!
3 years from now
The game will be crying (and figuring out who has a dick)
Men be having children.
Or ‘Men Will Have Childen.’
Or ‘Children Will be Had by Men.’
Eww…. WORST new party game…
Desire is a streetcar
The Groove Will be Got Back by Stella
Bust As In Synonymous With Capture Because That is What They Will Do To Ghosts
They Are the Exact Opposite of Good Boys.
These Boys Are Bad
Bill Will Be Killed!
Disappearances Within One Minute
Arrows will be Broken
The Teenage Turtles Just Got Mutant!
The Postcard Will Say: To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar.
Come to the Land of Adventure
This Summer Has 500 Days
Rachel Will Get Married
There are ten things I hate about you.
This Element is the Fifth One!
It’s Like He’s On Crank The Whole Movie!
Godfather in the Mafia sense, not actually!
You Die Hard if You Don’t Live Free.
Green Tomatoes Will Fry.
An Old Woman Experiences Pain and Yearning
Shut it down. You win.
This summer, you’ll look at the person who is talking!!
Next summer, you’ll look at the person who is also talking!!
It’s a baby!
100+100+100=…….300!
This Yard Is The Longest
His Life will be Defended
He Is Literally The Last Starfighter.
Gilbert’s Crappy Life and Fat Mom and Retard Brother Are what.
This guys so pissed they messed with his daughter he’s gonna burn Mississippi with his anger.
No, Seriously. Snakes. On A Plane.
Madea is in Jail, ooh she crazy!
THIS MISSION IS IMPOSSIBLE
lost arcs will be raided!
He Will Be Left Home Alone
New York This Time
The Boogaloo will be Electric
the pond they were on…WAS GOLDEN.
This Bulletproof will Butthorn you!
The Jury Will Run Away
their sister’s name…WAS HANNAH.
When Squid meets Whale.
In communist Russia, Red October Hunts You!
Time Will Have Land Before It.
His Heart will be Brave
Rosemary Will Have A Baby!
Four people will get married! One guy will die instead!
Rachel will get married.
Bull Will Rage!
Good Will Will Hunt!
Powder Will Be Powdery.
Light will Twi
This Film Takes Place 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea
The Kid Will Stay In This Picture
This Christmas, you will believe that a slumdog just might become a millionaire.
The Chicks Will Be White
Willy Will be Freed
The Club Will Have Fights
It Will Happen One Night
The Kids WILL Be Shrunk, Honey.
There’s nothing good about these fellas.
Tiffany’s is where they will Eat Breakfast.
Green Tomatoes WILL Fry
These Dogs Are Reservoir
New York Has Gangs
Harry Will Sally
This Movie Has Muppets
OK, I’m tapped out.
This Time, The Treasure Is National
The Title of This Film Is A Double Entendre In That Event Horizon Is Not Only The Name Of The Ship But Also The Outer Rim Of A Black Hole…To Hell.
They’re Saints from the Boondocks
It’s a Day for All the Saints and They are Saints from the Boondocks
Anything Can Be Said. (Sorry, I do realize no one cares about Lloyd Dobler anymore even though 2012′s fate [and a boombox] lies in his hands.)
2012: It’s the year before 2013, unless 2013 NEVER COMES!!!!!
This Summer, You Can Count These Commandments on Two Hands!
This Journey Will Go All the Way To The Center Of The Earth!
Bill Will Be Killed!
This Christmas… Christ will have passion.
You Will Wait For Guffman.
Asses will be kicked!
This Summer There Will Be 500 Days!
Who Was Served? You Were.
Contact, with Aliens.
There’s no reason for this rebel
The Decimal Point after the 3 Will Be Followed by 14159265, for Starters
This Park Will Get Jurassic!
A World Lost for Years!
The Activity Will Be Paranormal!
This Movie Will Kick Ass!
Michael Jackson Claims, “This is It, Everybody!”
Encounters Will be Close and, Out of at Least 3 Kinds, they Will Be of the Third Kind
Lisa will tear you apart! In a ROOM!!
the shawshank will be redeemed!
there will be birds!
hey! it’s groundhog day!
america will be done…by beavis and butt-head!
One Of These Guys Is Very Dumb. The Other One Is Even Dumber.
He’s Just a Law Abiding Citizen!
This Balloon Is On Its Way Up!
A Story About Toys!
The Perfect Date Movie!
The Last House On The Left Is Last On The Left
Back to the Future 2: It’s about time.
All of the Mohikans will die…except the last one
Every Christmas has a Story
This Escape is going to be Great
The Wild. Get into it.
The Land’s got (Zombies, Adventure, Women).
This is the worst new party game. We need to do another one that involves cows or some other kind of barnyard animal.
Grab your umbrella… because the rain… will be purple.
The color will be purple. (The Color Purple)
Big, now he’s big.
The Velvet….is….BLUE
Guns will be Naked
Three men: one’s good, one’s bad, and one is ugly.
He drives the taxi!
This Time, The Terrestrial Will Be Extra
Their playlist is really long.
America Will Have Pie.
Batman Will Begin!
The Line Will Be Walked
Paul will be Blarted
He will be John Malkovich
Bill and Ted”s journey will be bogus!
He will be John Malkovich